Wednesday, June 30, 2010

When there are skin tabs or moles underneath your pubic hair, I don't always see them. Sometimes when I wax over them, they tear around the edges. I have even removed a few. And since that area is so vascular, they tend to bleed and bleed.

One of my clients called her moles angel kisses. I call them a pain in the ass.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

I've been called lots of names over the years. But the "pube Nazi" is a first.

Monday, June 28, 2010

We are all about group waxing experiences at the salon. Since we basically all have the same parts, what's the difference? So the last time I had 4 women in the room together, one of the girls was so nervous and resistant, she had a girlfriend on each side of her holding her legs for me.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

It's Sunday morning and I just remembered that one of my clients told me that she likes to sit with her husband on Sunday mornings and read my blog entries for the week. How cool is that?

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Got kicked pretty hard on the side of my face by a strong foot with a shoe on it this week. It was my not so subtle reminder that waxing is a contact sport.

Friday, June 25, 2010

So a boyfriend sits down at his girl's computer and starts to type in something and my blog popped up. He asked her what the hell this was, and she told him it was something her waxer had written. He read some of it and thought it was pretty funny. Later on, he wanted to know more about the "hoo-ha hoe-down" thing. Alternative title?

Thursday, June 24, 2010

If you have bushes on your backside too, I'm here for you.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

If it's itchy and smelly, then it's time.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

When I'm looking at your hoo-ha, I don't think of it as a sexual organ. It's just a body part with some nasty hair on it. As one of my clients so profoundly put it, it's like an elbow.

Monday, June 21, 2010

And no one has ever peed on me either. Just lots of farting.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Best question this week. Has anyone ever "cum" on me? Now would that be fucking awkward or what?

Happy to say, no.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Hi gang! Please remember I'm on the hunt for an agent to help me publish my book on hoo-ha's. So if anyone knows somebody......
A woman who was long overdue for a wax had her leg in the air when her 3 year old ran to the foot of the bed, looked at her hairy vagina, and exclaimed "oh that's yucky!" Priceless.

Friday, June 18, 2010

One of our regulars came in for a wax even though she doesn't have a man. She wanted to get a Brazilian in case she fell on a penis. When we asked if that happened often, she said "sometimes I fall on a whole bag of penises!"

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Saw my first rectal hematoma. That was kind of cool.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Bald is beautiful.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

A woman told me her husband gave me an A+ after inspecting my work for a long time and not being able to find any strays. He also told her that she should continue coming to me since I do such a great job. It's so rewarding being a good student. I'd like to say thanks to the hubby for the compliment.

Monday, June 14, 2010

I've heard lots of horror stories about how other technicians are performing Brazilians. One of my graduating students is freaking out about who is going to "wax her vag."

All I can say is good luck with that.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

So let's be real. Why do we do it? It hurts. It's embarrassing. It's weird. I'll tell you why.

Because sex is better.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Hey ladies, have you shown your guys my blog?

They love any talk about pussies.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Globs of dried blood at the entrance of your hoo-ha don't make me a happy waxer.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

A new client came into the room with a friend for their first time wax. I try to make it obvious that I don't care at all what size, shape or color you are. Never have, never will. Not my way. This girl made a very perceptive remark about how I approach this whole naked body, hair ripping thing. She referred to my wax room as a non-judgement area. Exactly. And thank you.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

If you think you are the hairiest I've ever seen, trust me, I've seen worse.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Someone told me that "pubic hair is unnecessary."


Monday, June 7, 2010

Always seeking more clients and always interested in how people find me. You know, there are a lot of hairy people out there that really need me.

Had a new client come to me because I was a topic of discussion at a sex toy party. How cool is that?

Sunday, June 6, 2010

This morning I woke up feeling like I was hit by a bus. Funny thing, the bus was a cute, 115 pound black girl with a coarse, dense, and resistant Afro between her legs. But that wasn't the biggest problem. She seemed to think that waxing was a contact sport. Holding down a squirming body while trying to effectively rip off her pubic hair was not a good time. But I did it. I won this wrestling match.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Just wanted to give new girls a heads up. I find pubic hair to be quite disgusting. If you come in for a regular bikini wax, nine times out of ten you will leave with a Brazilian.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Friday, June 4, 2010

My niece had a great idea for an alternate name for the book. "Don't Buzz Your Beaver!" Love it.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Did you know that girls let their pubic hair get long on purpose? It's a way of keeping themselves from sleeping around. Some of my girls refer to it as their security blanket.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

A new client came in yesterday and said she was taking a trip to Baltimore with some friends when one of the friends started reading some of my blogs off her IPhone. Knowing that people are enjoying the blog and are sharing it with others has me so psyched. After hearing how I write, this girl figured she wouldn't be the worst case I've ever seen. It also made her feel more comfortable to come to me for a Brazilian. How cool is that?

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

It is really difficult coming up with a name for a book that you have put thousands of hours into and hope will one day be published. I've remained pretty dedicated to "Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha, " however, because every person I tell the name to laughs. I have entertained several others as well. For a short while, the book was entitled "Spruce Your Cootch."