Friday, December 31, 2010

Possible resolution. Wax your womanhood.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Everyone thinks they have the hairiest hoo-ha.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

I watched the sun rise this morning. I like things that rise.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The bikini area is a delicate and complicated part of the body. The skin is prone to bumps and ingrown hairs which can be painful and unattractive. Although we believe that waxing is the best means of making the puss as pretty as possible, it's not a perfect system. Currently, we recommend some products that are quite effective in clearing the bumps and ingrown hairs. It appears there are salons, however, that have another approach to dealing with an unsightly bikini area. A facial for the hoo-ha. Now this could be interesting.

Monday, December 27, 2010

A forty minute underarm wax? What is wrong with these people?

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Hope all my girls got kissed under the mistletoe on the appropriate set of lips.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

The puss is the perfect Christmas gift.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Biggest nightmare wax story to date. I met a normal sized woman with a small, no big deal bush that told me she went somewhere and after 2 HOURS, the girl hadn't even started on the labia. She asked the technician to stop and she left the salon blistered and in agony. Oh yea, and the girl charged her.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

How about powdered sugar on the puss?

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

One of the main objectives to getting a Brazilian is to encourage more creative and fulfilling sex. So to expound on yesterday's blog and to keep the creative notion of sex in mind, I'd like to suggest another innovative cookie idea. Let's try drizzling "caramel on your cooter."

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

One of my favorite hobbies is cooking. In fact, I wrote a cookbook about 10 years ago, printed copies myself, and sold them at the shop. But even though I love to cook, I hate to bake. So this Christmas season, instead of indulging on fattening cookies, let's be creative with our holiday treats. How about trying one of my favorite desserts? "Sprinkles on the Snatch."

Monday, December 20, 2010

We also like goatee's on men. On a woman, we call a goatee a Brazini. This is an acceptable look.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Some men like to grow beards in the winter. I personally like a beard that is well groomed. It can look sexy on a man. What I don't think is sexy is the number of times I have heard about a man who is growing his beard asking why his woman is growing hers as well.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

I have a client who used to get Brazilians on a regular basis, but she decided a couple years ago that she couldn't take the pain and switched to bikini waxes. In the past year, she has fallen in love and moved in with her boyfriend. A few months ago, for his birthday, she decided to suck it up and get a Brazilian again as a gift for her man. When she came in yesterday, I asked her if she wanted to do the whole thing since it was Christmas. I did a pretty good job convincing her that getting the whole thing waxed twice a year was the least she could do for him. Her response....."I wish his birthday was in December."

Friday, December 17, 2010

Sometimes you hoo-hoo says boo-hoo.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

OK ladies, listen up. We really don't mind if you have your period as long as you have a clean, fresh tampon in. A soiled, brown string from a nasty bowel movement does not constitute a clean, fresh tampon.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

I love when women giggle through the entire service.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I forgot the best part of the story from yesterday. My girl had to get on her hands and knees. That's a comfortable position to get into in front of a stranger. Not.

Monday, December 13, 2010

A lot of salons are doing Brazilians these days and it still blows my mind what people are willing to pay and how long they are willing to lay on the table. Last week I heard about another 45 minute Brazilian nightmare wax that left the girl sore & swollen, still a little hairy, and extremely frustrated. Oh yea, and she paid $40 more than I charge. For those of you who haven't had a wax with us and think 45 minutes is normal, then you either don't know it can be done more efficiently, have sadistic tendencies, or really enjoy being naked with another woman. The last option is fine except I can think of a lot more fun things to do naked.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

On this wintry Sunday morning, is your man sifting through a forest to enjoy your lady parts or is he is slip, sliding away with comfort and ease to the promise land?

Saturday, December 11, 2010

You know what your man really wants for Christmas? A hot & hairfree hoo-ha...a beautifully bald beave...a smooth as silk snatch...a pristine pussy...a luscious lady zone...I think you get my point.

Call me! 585-473-7360

Friday, December 10, 2010

Fuck is a very popular word at Mark & M.E. In fact, it is probably the most common expletive said in our salon. The other day, a woman must have said the word a dozen times and then followed up with an apology. For the record, there is no reason to apologize. I am putting hot wax between your legs and ripping out your precious pubes with a big smile on my face as you squirm in pain. I get the swearing thing. As I was half way through this particular woman's service, she upgraded her swearing to mother fucker. My reply, fuck has a mommy.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

You tend to be more sensitive when you are ovulating. Great time to make a baby. Not so great time to get ripped.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

One of the clients that explained the dicky-do phrase to me came in on Saturday with a birthday card. (my birthday is in may but the card was perfect) The card depicts a man with a huge belly walking a wiener dog on a leash. She wrote dicky-do on the front of the card with an arrow to his belly. Inside, the card read "You're not old till you look down and can barely see your wiener."

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

For those of you who have been following my blog for awhile, you may remember that I had never heard of the F.U.P.A. expression before. Well, now I have been introduced to another expression. Dicky-do. From what I understand, dicky-do refers to a man who has such a big belly that he cannot see his penis. This reinforces one of the many things I was thankful for over the Thanksgiving weekend. Be thankful if you can find it. You'd hate to have a dicky-do.

Monday, December 6, 2010

There is always the ongoing question whether or not a woman should leave her socks on when she takes her pants off. Many women feel very awkward leaving their socks on while they get waxed. It is kind of like leaving them on during sex. For others, especially at this time of the year, it feels a lot more comfortable to keep the piggies covered. And I do have a few women who take their socks half way off. They actually expose their heel and that is what makes them the most comfortable in front of me. Believe me, when your snatch is in my face, I ain't looking at your feet.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

I had another urine concern this week. A woman didn't want to do a full Brazilian because someone told her that removing all of the labia hair will cause your urine to go all over the place. Again, this really doesn't make sense to me. I like to concentrate on how much cleaner it is to go the bathroom without all of that nasty pubic hair in the way.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Someone told me that ever since I waxed her the first time, her pee comes out sideways. I know that I have some strange and interesting talents, but changing the direction of your urethra isn't one of them.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Pubic hair does not keep you warm in the winter, so hurry up and bring your hairy hoo-ha's in to see me.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

A woman came in for her first wax and was embarrassed by the amount of hair she had. She told me I'd have to deal with all the buckwheat between her legs. Thought that was an interesting analogy.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

The more I got thinking about the Vietnam reference from yesterday, the more bizarre it seemed to me. If you are going to compare your cooter to another country, how about Egypt? There are pyramids in Egypt. They are in the shape of triangles. Comparing your parts to the size or shape of a that makes sense.