Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Someone told me my superhero name should be The Vagina Rescuer.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Since I work with a sexual organ all day, there is a lot of sex talk that takes place during the service. I hear about all sorts of good and bad stuff. I have girls freaking out because their guys want to enjoy a different orifice. They come in to make sure that area is hair free even if they aren't sure they'll go through with it. I have others that are being spanked with so much force that hand prints are being left on their behinds. Recently, I had a girl tell me that she was strangled so hard that it was difficult to breathe and she had to keep pushing his hand away. She also said the sex was impossible to enjoy because she was scared and he was seriously hurting her. So my thought is if you are scared, you don't like getting hurt or you aren't enjoying it, then don't waste your Brazilian on him.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

There are no concrete rules about having sex and getting waxed. I appreciate the women who are considerate enough not to have sex too close to the appointment time. You know how I hate coming in contact with your man's baby butter. We've discussed this. But after your wax, there is no set time for how long you need to wait. Even a veteran waxer should understand that the area will be a little tender after the service but should be ready to go in a few hours. But a virgin waxer should plan for things to be sensitive probably until the next day. Moral of the story; don't plan a hot and heavy date with a well endowed man the same day as your first Brazilian.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

I made a lot of men very, very happy yesterday.

Friday, May 27, 2011

A woman told me that when you get a Brazilian in Ireland and you leave a landing strip, it is called an Urban Express. I think that is quite a sassy expression for your snatch.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

A girl told me that even though she didn't have a boyfriend, she wanted to get waxed just in case... Now that's a girl after my own heart.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

I had another article published in The Social Gods online magazine. It talks about sex and successful relationships. It shouldn't be a surprise that sex is a topic I am interested in since I play with pusses all day. Check it out.



Tuesday, May 24, 2011

We have definitely become a society that has an aversion to pubic hair. It is a trend that I fully support. A 12 year old girl was complaining to her mom about the fact that her brother trims his pubic hair in the bathroom and doesn't clean it up. I'd complain too.

Monday, May 23, 2011

It probably isn't a good idea to try to watch what I'm doing while I wax you. It is kind of like getting a shot or giving blood. It seems to always hurt more if you know the exact moment the needle goes into your skin. A lady brought her son's girlfriend in for a Brazilian and every time the girl lifted her head up to check on what I was doing, the mom would push her head back down to the pillow.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

A woman hadn't been waxed for months and months. On the morning of her appointment, she told her man to get his scuba gear ready because he was going down under for a very long time.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Favorite quote of the week. A man said to his woman. "Babe, the 1970's called and said they want their pussy back."

Friday, May 20, 2011

When a woman sweats through the pits of her sweatshirt, then I know she was really nervous or in a lot of pain. Or maybe both?

Thursday, May 19, 2011

My 400TH blog today just happens to fall on my birthday. So I was thinking about how long I can keep this up. So I decided that as long as clients keep saying and doing crazy shit, I'll be here to share in the fun. Like when a woman brings in her step son's new girlfriend for a wax and hangs onto her boob as a distraction, I am still amused and feel the need to share.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Here's another reason why waxing is a smarter method of hair removal. If you haven't heard about Megan Barnes, then you need to Google her. She was shaving her puss while driving in Florida while her ex-husband was steering her car. She was on her way to a date. Surprisingly, she got into a car accident. And, if you can find a picture of her, I think you'd agree that shaving her v-j-jay was the least of her worries.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

A woman told me it was time to get rid of her love rug. So I did.

Monday, May 16, 2011

When I was in college, I worked as a sales consultant at a weight loss clinic. I tried to encourage the women to treat themselves with something besides a hot fudge sundae when they lost weight, such as a manicure or a piece of jewelry. A woman who I normally wax every four weeks waited longer than usual because she rewarded herself with a wax after she lost 20 pounds. I thought that was an awesome reward.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

I'm pretty oblivious to tattoo's after all of these years, but a rubber chicken tattoo on a woman's ass really cracked me up.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

A lot of women come on their lunch hour to get waxed. I had to laugh when a woman left for lunch and drove 20 minutes out of the way to stop by her house to take a quick shower before coming to the shop for a Brazilian. She told me she didn't want to end up on a blog.

Friday, May 13, 2011

When you wax over a shaved puss, the hair looks pretty scary. It stands on end and looks somewhat petrified. A client looked at her strip of hair and said it looked like the old school Nintendo grass.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

I have been waxing since the 1990's and in all that time, I have only had 2 people cry. Well, there must have been something messed up in the universe, because I had 2 people cry just last week. One was a bride who was stressed out about her wedding, completely exhausted and totally anxious about getting a wax. OK, that's understandable. The 2nd girl started crying when I waxed her knee. A knee. Really?

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I got an article entitled Manscaping 101 published in an online magazine called The Social Gods. Hopefully, this will get me one step closer to getting my manuscript published. I plan to write monthly articles for this magazine as long as I can find something amusing to say. As the title suggests, the article is about the different options that men have when it comes to grooming their junk. It appears I have a fascination with well groomed genitalia. I wonder what Freud would say to that?

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Just when I think I have heard every expression for the puss that's out there, another one gets mentioned that I feel compelled to pass on to you. A client came in and said that her mom couldn't believe that she was paying to have her "paw paw patch" removed.

Monday, May 9, 2011

One of the annoying aspects of waxing is that your skin is sticky when I finish. Fortunately, the oil we use to remove the sticky residue takes it off quickly. While one of my clients was lying on the table, she commented on how her lips felt like they were sealed shut. She said her parents would have loved it if her lips were stuck together like this when she was a teenager.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Time to spring clean your snatch.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Just call me Queen of the Jungle.

Friday, May 6, 2011

A girl told me she has been telling all of her friends how much better it is to wax and what a great job I do. That really means a lot to me and I can't thank everyone enough for the referrals. After I finished waxing her, I thanked her for telling people about me and told her to remember to "spread the word, not your legs." Then I thought about what I said and what I just did to her so I had to amend my statement. "OK, maybe spread your legs too."

Thursday, May 5, 2011

I love it when I end up on other people's Facebook pages. A newbie wrote that she went to Mark & M.E. and got a Brazilian for the first time. She said it was the most amazing thing and she was so excited because I even did her ass crack! Now she understands why one of our motto's is that "no one leaves Mark & M.E. with a hairy ass."

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

I've written in the past about the women who let themselves get really hairy so they won't have sex. Everybody seems to have their own expression when they are referring to their intentional hair growth. A girl informed me that she skipped a month from waxing because she needed a man shield. All I can say is if I was a guy, the shield would have worked.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

If your dude has the nerve to call you a Sasquatch, I say we put a little hot wax on his member and see how well he tolerates it. He may prefer you bald, but he better be nice about it.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Although I am able to wax a woman in less than 10 minutes, I rarely feel like I am rushing. After all these years, I am just incredibly efficient. Besides, it is a very sensitive area and I would never want to jeopardize pissing it off any more than I have too. But there are times when I get really busy and there will be two or three women in my waiting area. There was a point on Saturday that I got really busy and when I walked out of one of the treatment rooms, a client told me she was next on my pussy assembly line.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

When a woman is used to getting waxed every four weeks, and extra week or two can be very annoying to her. One of my girl's told me to be careful because there was an animal back there, but not to worry, because at least it wouldn't growl at me. Believe me, I am so done with noises that come from back there.