Monday, October 31, 2011

The other day, I told you about an older woman who's husband wanted to watch and she told him to kiss it good bye.[and he did] I just remembered that she told me he couldn't wait for her to come home so he could try it out. She told him he'd have to wait, because she wanted to try it out and get used to it first.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Tooting while I'm ripping is annoying.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Once you've seen one, it's really no big deal.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Someone told me they heard something funny on TV. A girl said she needed to turn her peach into a nectarine. I always preferred nectarines.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

A first time Brazilian client told me she has been married 42 years and her husband wanted to come to the appointment with her to watch. She told him that he was not allowed to come but he could kiss it good bye. So he did.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

A mature woman gets off the table, walks over to the full length mirror to examine her new bald look and says, "oh, you're 12 again!"

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

For some people, a Brazilian can be very painful. It isn't uncommon for women to swear, scream and make all sorts of guttural sounds during the service. So I had to laugh when a woman asked me if it would be OK if she yelled. I gave her my permission and my blessing.

Monday, October 24, 2011

I don't like using hard wax because it slows me down and every time I have used it on myself, I find that it hurts a lot more. I also prefer the barrier of the strip that separates your lady parts and my gloved hand. And, frankly, I don't like picking at your puss which is what you have to do after you let the wax harden.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

You're going to think twice about using the blow dryer at the gym, aren't you?

Saturday, October 22, 2011

A woman came into the salon and said she read yesterday's blog. She knew what health club I was referring to. She said that the other day there was a lady who was standing naked in the locker room with her foot up on a bench and she was blow drying her pubic hair with the communal blow dryer.

Friday, October 21, 2011

I hear there is an upscale workout facility in town that has a lot of women with big, hairy bushes walking around naked in the locker room. I am tempted to join the club just so I can walk around and hand out my cards.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

When the girl yesterday asked me if I had ever seen such an ugly puss, the only response I had was to say that I think they are all ugly.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Four college girls came together for a wax. One of the girls had a very loud, vulgar vocabulary and was yelling through the entire service and I was sure that anyone waiting in the hallway could hear her. Towards the end of the wax, she yelled
"don't I have the ugliest fucking pussy?!"

After I finished her, I left the room to do my next client who was waiting in the hall. When we walked into the other room, she asked me what the "ugliest fucking pussy looked like?"

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

A woman told me she was propositioned by another woman but didn't even consider it, because, in her own words, "I ain't eating out no vagina's."

Monday, October 17, 2011

Some of my 40 year old women are wild. They are eager to try new and exciting things. For example, one of my divorced ladies has never had a sexual encounter with another woman. Although she currently has a man in her life, she feels the need to try out the other side just in case she is missing something really awesome. And, of course, she had to prepare herself for this encounter by coming to see me first.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Every once in awhile, the condom comes off inside a woman. And there are times when it is impossible to find that sucker and get it out. So when a 30 year old woman had to go to the doctor to get the condom out of its hiding place, she was mortified that it now says in her permanent record that a foreign object was removed from her vagina.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

A woman wanted to let her husband know that she wasn't coming right home after work because she had an appointment with me. She had to be cautious what she wrote in the email, however, because all of her emails are monitored at work. So she sent him a message saying that she had a grooming appointment. That's an appropriate description.

Friday, October 14, 2011

When my last client of the day came in, I told her to come right upstairs, because she was my caboose of the evening. As we were walking into the wax room, she told me that I needed to take care of her caboose.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

I got a phone call from a girl who used to get waxed by me in college. She was getting a manicure & pedicure at another salon and they offered to give her a Brazilian. She said it took forever. They kept going over the same areas. She started to cry because it hurt so badly. She had never gone anywhere else and was shocked that the experience could have been so different. She called me as she was leaving the salon to tell me what happened. Her voice was shaky and I could tell she was really upset. Sometimes, I'm worth the drive.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

There are certain parts of the body that women don't like to have sucked on when they are hairy, and that is one of the reasons many of them come to see me. But I had to laugh when a client told me her man was kissing her all over her body and when he started to suck her toe, she freaked out. It was hairy.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Pusses aren't the only thing I wax. I was waxing a gay man's back and we were talking about vagina's. As our discussion about the vagina continued, he told me that he thought lady parts were scary, he had no idea what to do with them, so he just stayed away from them.

Monday, October 10, 2011

I hope your man has the munchies on this magnificent Monday morning. It really is a wonderful way to start the week.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

It is not uncommon for women to go out for a drink after they get a wax as a reward for enduring their Brazilian experience and to celebrate their new, sexy selves. The other day, however, a woman told me she went and had a chocolate shake before her appointment as her reward. That was a first.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

A woman texts her man and says she has an appointment with me at 12:30. He replies with a WOO-HO and a smiley face. That made my day.

Friday, October 7, 2011

If I accidentally rip off a skin tab, don't be freaked out by the blood. The puss is a very vascular area and it tends to bleed a lot. Instead, be joyful that you won't have to pay a doctor to remove the annoying little bugger.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Mark & I went out to eat at a restaurant where we know several of the servers. When I walked into the dining room, I was graciously greeted by a group of women who frequent Mark & M.E. The one busboy working there is a son of one of the servers. From the conversation, he realized who I was and went up to his mom and whispered, "is that the woman who waxes your crotch?" She said yes and told him my name. When he came back to our table, he seemed embarrassed. Being served water by him will never be the same again.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

If you can't control how you react to pain, take your shoes off. The back of my head would appreciate the gesture.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Stretch before you come in. Makes it easier to get to your parts. Besides, a man always appreciates a flexible woman.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Please stop trimming your twat before you come in for your wax. Nine times out of ten, you trim it too short. And when it's too short, there will be little, stubbly hairs left all over the place and that really pisses me off.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Great day to stay in bed and enjoy your wax.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

This is a depressing time of year in Rochester NY. It is cold and rainy and people tend to get pretty grumpy. So, this year, instead of moaning and groaning about the dreary climate we live in, moan and groan like a champ after you get your cootch waxed.