Yesterday a woman told me she gave her No Scream Cream to a friend to use on her nipples before she had new areola's tattooed on her breasts. I've heard about women doing that when they have breast cancer but never just because.
And I just wanted to let you know that this is my 600Th consecutive blog. I have been persistent and steady with stories. So doesn't anybody know someone who can help me get my manuscript published?
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
I heard about a woman who had really bad pain in her tail bone. They took all sorts of tests and weren't sure what was going on even though they did see some kind of mass in that area. She went on vacation and the pain got so bad that she could barely walk. When she went to the hospital, they found out that an ingrown hair was burrowing into her actually bone and had become severely infected. The doctors had to surgically remove the hair and clean out the infection. The girl was awake during the procedure and said the smell was absolutely putrid when they cut her open. Just another reason why we wax your crack.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
Thursday, November 24, 2011
They say that Americans eat stupid amounts of calories on Thanksgiving. So I was thinking that it would be a smart idea to substitute one of your many courses for something more natural and intimate. There would be no calories and, if you tried hard enough, you could burn a few while you were at it.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
I've been blogging about beaves for almost 600 consecutive days, and I just realized that I really don't have many followers considering how dedicated I have been to this project. I'm beginning to wonder if anyone is really reading what I write or if I'm the only one who is amused by all the weird and crazy shit that happens at Mark & M.E. If you want me to keep up with my continued stories, see if you can find a friend to become a follower so I know someone cares about cootches as much as I do.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
I have mentioned in the past that I prefer hot wax to hard wax for several reasons. For one, I like the barrier of the cloth between your vag and my hands (even though I wear gloves), I find that the hot wax is more efficient, and I personally tend to get irritated at the spots where I have to grab the hard wax in order to pull it off. But now I have another reason I don't think I will switch products. My best friend lives far from here and she just had her first Brazilian. The woman used hard wax. For some reason the wax wasn't setting up quick enough so the technician had a small fan between my friend's legs. What a visual.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Monday, November 14, 2011
There are Groupons for everything these days, including Brazilians. One of my clients went to another salon to take advantage of a cheap wax. When she walked in the room, the girl asked her if she ever had a Brazilian before. She said that she normally went to Mark & M.E. They girl replied with a long sigh and said that she didn't do them as good as we do. This made the woman quite nervous and, as it turned out, she had every right to be. The technician used small strips, small sticks, and a hard wax on the lips that got stuck to the skin and had to be picked off. After close to an hour, the woman was left red, swollen and rashy. She'll never cheat on me again.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Saturday, November 12, 2011
There are many expressions that people use to describe different body types. I learned that there is a word for when a woman has a large stomach that hangs over her lady parts and you can't tell where the stomach ends and the puss begins. The word is BUNT. When the belly hangs over the c...
Friday, November 11, 2011
Now that our guys know that we are more into warmth and comfort with our underwear, I hope they can be more understanding why we don't parade in sexy lingerie 24-7. We don't ask them to stick a string of lace up their ass, so why should we? I had to laugh, however, when a client told me that she has a pair of old, comfy pajamas that she wears that indicates to her husband that he ain't getting any. He calls them the d-erection jammies.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Men like us to be dressed all sexy in frilly undies and lacy teddies that try to make us look like a little girl,a porn star or even a whore. What they don't realize is that a lot of the sexy lingerie out there isn't very comfortable, doesn't always look as good on us as it does on the Victoria Secret models, and, frankly, it just doesn't keep us very warm in our lovely Western New York climate. So you might want to take us to Hawaii or some other tropical destination and we'll consider putting on some undergarments that make us self conscious about our celluite and muffins tops and itch like crazy and let you have your little fantasy.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
I received an email from a client who wanted to get a wax, but I was out of town when she wanted to come in. Instead of having one of my staff members wax her, she decided to wait until I came back. There was only a small window of opportunity between the time I got home and the time she left for vacation. Her message to me said that it was vital she found a time to come in because woolly mammoths don't belong in the tropics.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Sunday, November 6, 2011
One of my clients convinced me to start a twitter account. My user name is SassySnatch in case you're interested. My tweets are different then my blogs. Don't worry, I still tweet about twats. It has been kind of fun thinking about pusses in a different way. Check me out. My goal is to keep some humor in your hoo-ha.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
A lot of women are self conscious about the shape and/or size of their labia. In my opinion, the puss is distinctive and unique just like the rest of the body. I even know women who have had surgery to make their labia more attractive. But I recently heard of the strangest scenario about a girl who was so embarrassed and uncomfortable with her large outer labia that she tucked them inside her body every day. I think this girl probably doesn't need a plastic surgeon but maybe a psychiatrist.