Saturday, December 31, 2011

On this last day of the year, I hope everyone finds a way to pay some kind of tribute to that incredible part of the woman's body that brings life unto this magnificent Earth.

Friday, December 30, 2011

With the New Year approaching, you may want to try a new look. I can leave a triangle on the front of your pubis. It seems to be a popular look these days. And it can represent an arrow in case your man is directionally challenged.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

It can be really funny what song comes on the radio while I am doing a wax. "Hurts so good" is always an appropriate jingle. While I was waxing a woman named Caroline, "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond came on the radio and she started singing. As the song was ending, she said that she would definitely be sweet when I finished with her.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

When a woman turned on her side so I could wax that forbidden backside, she told me that only her momma had ever been back in that area.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

I heard that some salons give you an ice pack after your wax. I really don't think that icing should be necessary unless the technician had a hard time trying to remove the hair and an unusual amount of swelling occurred. I think ice should be used exclusively for the cocktail that you have after your wax to celebrate just how damn sexy you are.

Monday, December 26, 2011

I know that I can cause clients some discomfort, but it always makes me a little nervous when I look at their face and see that their glasses are fogged up.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Whether you found time to take a quick trip to Brazil or not, I hope you find someone to enjoy your special parts with this Holiday Season.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Another good email came my way. A girl wrote that she was feeling TOO insulated against the cold. My reply was that insulation was overrated.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

OK, so you're a little red. It is Christmas, you know.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Congratulations to all of the women who are adding a Brazilian to their Christmas preparation list.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Money tight this year? For fifty one dollars, you can get a Brazilian at Mark & M.E. and a big, red bow from the dollar store and make it the best Christmas he has ever had!

Monday, December 19, 2011

If you have never removed all of your pubic hair, the sensation can be very strange. After a first timer finished cashing out, she sat on our couch in the waiting room and started flapping her knees in and out. I asked her if everything was OK down there. She said she had never felt so free.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

I love new clients. They provide me with new blog ideas all of the time. Like yesterday, when I asked a woman to hold her left leg up, she chanted "I'm not gonna kick her, I'm not gonna kick her...." over and over again until she was able to put that leg down.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

I love when someone tells me that they love me during the first visit, especially considering what I am doing to them.

Friday, December 16, 2011

And the story continues....The girl on the floor was a bigger girl who had gotten on the table to get waxed but then chickened out. When she got off the table, she put on her bright, yellow thong and sat down trying decide whether or not she had the nerve to try again. When she was on the floor laughing, I asked her friend to roll on her side to wax her ass, and that's when my girl on the floor started hooting & hollering and actually rolling around on my carpet.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

I could actually write a hysterical SNL sketch about the two girls from yesterday. When the girl made the remark about her friend doing aerobics, she literally fell off the chair and was in ball on the floor laughing like a hyena.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

I had two young, silly black girls in for their first ever wax. The laughter & screaming could be heard through out the salon. When I had the first girl lift up her leg, her friend yelled, "she expects this nigger to do aerobics!?" My reply was short and to the point. I said, "no, not aerobics. Yoga."

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

When a woman told her husband she was getting waxed after work, he said that his European woman was going away again.

Monday, December 12, 2011

A nurse was describing what a prolapsed rectum looked like to me and how difficult is was to clean that area when someone had that medical problem. It sounds like a painful and embarrassing thing that can happen to your body. But I have to admit that one of my first thoughts after feeling sorry and uncomfortable for the woman was how in the hell I would wax her backside. I think I need a break from waxing.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

I love being your hero.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

I often ask my clients what their plans are for the weekends. When a girl told me she was going to a hockey game, I told her that her man needed to go skating on her rink.

Friday, December 9, 2011

A girl complained to me that her jaw was clicking and hurt. I told her it sounded like she could have TMJ and maybe she should have it looked at. We talked about how it can be caused by stress and by clenching her jaw. She told me she was pretty anxious about her wax since it had been a while. Sorry darling, I am not responsible for your TMJ.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

I'm not the only person who waxes at Mark & M.E. so it's strange when I can hear someone getting waxed in another room but not be able to see what is going on. Not a lot of women scream loud enough that we can hear it through the walls, but it does happen occasionally. The other day I could hear a young girl yelling though the wall. It was weird for me to be able to hear her but not see her. But what really made it unsettling was when I heard her baby start crying. It appears the girl's screams scared the baby.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

There are two reasons why I make Ninja sounds while I rip. Either your hair is a bitch to pull out or you are being a weenie and I am hoping to distract you.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Even though it is a lot easier for me to wax you if you come once a month, it can be really funny what women will say about their bush when it has been longer. For example, a woman came in and said that it had been so long since she had a wax that she could hear the growling in her pants.

Monday, December 5, 2011

If your feet smell really bad, feel free to leave your shoes on.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

I can't believe that I have been blogging about beaves for almost two years without missing one day. Obsessive compulsive or passionate about my work? I'm thinking it's a little bit of both.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

I know it can be more painful for some people, but I thought it was a bit of an exaggeration when a woman told me she felt like she was undergoing a female circumcism.

Friday, December 2, 2011

One of my college students spent the past semester in South Africa and continued to read my blog every day while she was away. It blows my mind that someone can keep up with what's going on here no matter where they are. I graduated with a Master's degree without ever touching a computer. Believe it or not, I wrote papers on this box like contraption called a typewriter. She mentioned that I tell a lot of stories about waxing asses. I can't help it. That's the part that women are usually the most embarrassed about. Get over it. We all have hair there. Just make sure there is nothing else back there.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

I have a Holiday slogan that says "you can't have a happy holiday with a hairy hoo-ha." So if you haven't taken the plunge and gone all the way yet, I think now is the time.