Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Today is a special day. The 29Th of February doesn't happen very often. Whether you have a fresh Brazilian or not, make sure to make this a day to remember.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I do read and appreciate all of your comments, The sad thing is that I can't figure out how to respond to them. There was a reader who said she refers to me as RipZilla. I like that.
~Godzilla's Brazilian cousin~

Monday, February 27, 2012

I understand there is a monetary commitment when you get a Brazilian on a monthly basis. That is why I am less expensive than most salons and why I offer cash and student discounts. Some women will do anything to make it happen. One of my girls actually rolled quarters in order to get waxed. I've never felt so proud.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

I had another article published!
~your Brazilian writer~

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Snatches are like snowflakes. No two are exactly alike.
~Brazilian Wisdom~

Friday, February 24, 2012

Yesterday, I was seriously in entrenched in some deep, dark bush. Women who I haven't seen for months, like Thanksgiving or Summer. It was hard work and I am actually sore today. I think I need to ask my boss for some combat pay.
~your Brazilian Soldier~

Thursday, February 23, 2012

There is a lot more talk on Showtime about doing it in the back entrance. For almost 20 years, I've been waxing that area on women. I am glad that I have kept my girls prepared for anything all these years.
~your Brazilian girl, back & front~

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

I'm sitting in a crowded airport at 5 in the morning looking around at all the women who probably need my services. Brazilians To Go. Interesting concept.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

I'm sorry I don't have handles on my beds for you to hang onto. I have women who try to hang on to me, but if I can't use both arms to pull, your Brazilian experience is going to be a lot more painful. If you are the type of person that needs to hang onto something, bring a friend or a stuffed animal. You could also bring a dildo. That would be a great motivator to get you through the service.

Monday, February 20, 2012

There were a lot of women looking for Jesus in my wax rooms last week.
~your spiritual Brazilian leader~

Sunday, February 19, 2012

I had a woman use baby wipes on her feet before she hopped up on the table to help with her foot odor. Not a bad idea.
~hints of ways to love your Brazilian friend~

Saturday, February 18, 2012

I had a young girl come in for her second Brazilian who told me that when she left Mark & M.E. last time, she had very mean thoughts about me. But she came back. They usually do.

Friday, February 17, 2012

I had to remind another person that the decision to remove the rectal hair is not a subject that is open for discussion. It just happens.
~your Brazilian Dominatrix~

Thursday, February 16, 2012

One of my older clients told me that her husband offered to use conditioner on her bush because it had been so long since she had been in to see me.
~your Brazilian hairdresser~

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

A girl needed a Brazilian but waited longer than usual so she'd be bald for Valentine's Day. Her boyfriend was talking dirty to her and asked her if she was getting wet. She said she wasn't because it was all getting absorbed in her hair.
~Brazilian Bedtime Talk~

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Today is dedicated to couples which is pretty obnoxious since there are a lot of people out there who aren't a part of a couple. So on this Valentine's Day, if you don't have a Valentine and can't find someone to enjoy your Vag, take matters into your own hands. It works better that way most of the time anyways.
~your Brazilian advice columnist~

Monday, February 13, 2012

Furry Fannies
Are No Fun.
~your Brazilian poet~

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Men love to contribute their thoughts on our pubic region. One of my girls hadn't been waxed in several months. Her husband started naming her bush. He referred to it as Abe Lincoln and Abdul, for example. When I finished her Brazilian, I told her to text her man and tell him that M.E. killed Abdul. She did.
~your pubic hair assassin~

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Women get very excited when they finish getting their first Brazilian. A girl sat up on the table, swung her legs over the side, looked down at her vagina and exclaimed "Wow, now I'm going to have to name her!"

Friday, February 10, 2012

A girl asked her fuck buddy if her snatch was a scratch-n-sniff, what would it smell like? He told her it smelled and tasted like strawberries. I asked her what she thought he'd say after I gave her a Brazilian? What would your man say?

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Friction can cause breakage. Please don't bitch about it. Be happy you're getting some.
~your Brazilian consultant~

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Please don't let the idea of getting a
freak you out. It is a quick procedure that really isn't that horrible. I had a college girl that was so anxious she said she was going to throw up on me. Now that was another first.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Women are so funny about their bodies. I asked a girl to take her pants and undies off and she told me that the man she sleeps with doesn't even see her naked.
~your Brazilian friend~

Monday, February 6, 2012

I got a Facebook message from one of my regulars that said "I hope you get all pretty pussies today!" Thank you for such a wonderful sentiment. I hope so too.
~your Brazilian Beautician"

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Last night, Mark & I went to the Ballet. While we were waiting in the lobby, there was a middle aged couple blatantly staring at us and discussing our attire. The woman approached Mark, handed him a card, and said that she thought we'd be interested in what was on the card. It was an invitation to a local sex community. I think that could be the perfect venue for me to hand out my card.
~your Brazilian Madam~

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Is Scary.
Gets Mauled.

~your Brazilian poet~

Friday, February 3, 2012

When I roll you on your right side, it means we are just about done with the Brazilian. This moment can be a very exciting time in a woman's life. The best was when I asked a woman to turn away from me because we were almost finished and she yelled "Amen!"

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Even though it usually takes me less than 10 minutes to give a woman a Brazilian, I tend to make people sweat. I don't keep the rooms that warm, but it can be a slightly embarrassing and painful experience for some women. So, during the winter, don't wear a heavy sweater during your appointment. The Popsicle stick slides off sweaty skin and makes the Brazilian more difficult.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

When a woman complains that her ass hair is getting tangled in her thong, I think it is time for a Brazilian.