Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Life is too short to work a job you hate. You'd be surprised how many opportunities are out there. Just look at me, for example. I absolutely love what I do for a living and it is definitely not the kind of profession that a little girl dreams about doing when she grows up. In fact, I never heard of a Brazilian Wax until I was an adult, but, boy, am I glad I did.

Monday, July 30, 2012

There is no need to be uncomfortable taking your pants off in front of me. If I have to do 20 Brazilians in one day, you would have to have a really funky vagina to make me even think twice about it.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

I am truly humbled by all of the women who travel over an hour to get a Brazilian from me. I am equally grateful for every single client who feels safe with their vagina in my hands. Today is a day of thanks.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Love all the women in their 60's getting Brazilians. Now we have to convince women in their 70's to try it.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Some things need repeating. I am not smiling because I enjoy hurting you. It makes me happy to think how great sex will be for you after I finish your Brazilian.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Now I have heard it all. I waxed a girl from North Carolina that had only gotten one Brazilian before and it took 2 hours. I don't understand.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

A woman waited longer than usual between waxes, because she wanted a fresh Brazilian for a job interview. I was skeptical about what kind of job she was interviewing for. She laughed and said that getting a Brazilian made her feel more confident. I get that.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Our short tongued fellow was very well endowed so he shouldn't have been obsessing about the appendage in his mouth. That is not the body part that chicks worry about being short. ~Brazilian Wax Wisdom~

Monday, July 23, 2012

A man in his early 20's had never gone down on a woman because he was embarrassed by his short tongue. I have a client that was compassionate to his plight and came to get a wax so he could learn how to properly perform cunnilingus.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Guess who was able to get a Brazilian and Brow Wax and still have money left over?

Saturday, July 21, 2012

A woman got out of the shower and her man commented that she needed to see me. She told him she was waiting until her next pay check. He must have felt bad that she couldn't afford a Brazilian, because he offered to give her $150 if she gave him a blow job.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Yesterday's hairdresser actually corrected herself and said it looked more like furry boy shorts. Yes, her body was screaming for a Brazilian Bikini Wax.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

After 2 months without a Brazilian, it can look like a woman is wearing a furry bikini. I have a fun hairdresser to thank for that analogy.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

If you are going to the ocean this summer for vacation, you may want to consider getting a Brazilian. Saltwater and shaving are not a good mix. Ever see the aftershave scene in Home Alone?

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

There are reasons women have babies. There are also reasons mostly women get Brazilians and not men. Check out my son and his friend getting ripped by yours truly. http://t.co/fY53aJeT

Monday, July 16, 2012

Stretch please. ~your Brazilian yoga instructor~

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Although most people use hard wax for Brazilians, I prefer soft and I'll give you another reason why. A girl went to a salon that used hard wax for the entire pubic area. A clump the size of a half dollar hardened on her lips and the technician couldn't get it off. She picked at it for awhile, but the client started to bleed. She sent the client home and told her not to worry because it would wear off eventually. The girl's skin was trashed and it continued to get more irritated because she had to walk around with a dollop of hard wax stuck to her skin. She ended up picking the remaining wax off of her most delicate parts for days.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Women get excited after a Brazilian Bikini Wax because it makes them feel so good. I had a woman dance around bare assed in front of my window and tell me if she had a better body, she'd be flashing it to the world.

Friday, July 13, 2012

As I was finishing the front of a woman's bikini area, she asked me if I'd do her butt. I assured her that all Brazilians included that area. When I showed her the hair I removed from her backside, she said she knew a furry animal had died back there.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Some people fear Brazilians. Mark & M.E. clients are excited to get them. Why else would a woman moan "ooh aah, my hoo-haa!" after I was finished?

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Groupon stories about Brazilians keep coming in. The most recent one was from a woman who said that the biggest problem was that it took almost an hour and the technician was uncomfortable touching her lady parts. She said that she kept going over the same areas again and again which left her very sore, she had to tweeze a ton of long hairs that she missed which took forever and, in the end, left her sticky and hairy. When she asked to have her backside done, the technician looked mortified but tried to get at the area. She asked the client to lie on her stomach and spread her cheeks which was awkward and, in my opinion, doesn't work well. The client told me it was a very long, painful and psychologically uncomfortable experience and she felt violated in ways she couldn't even describe.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

One of my clients is going to law school out of state. Every place she has gotten a Brazilian has cost her around $80 and has taken 45 minutes. She told me I ruined it for her because if she never went to me, she wouldn't know better. Sorry?

Monday, July 9, 2012

In the middle of doing a Brazilian, a woman said she called me a really bad name in her head. I'm sure that's never happened before.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

A girl said she really liked me because I was so vulgar. I asked her why she thought that. She said it was because I told her to give me her ass. I don't think that's vulgar. I just don't like the words rectum or anus. ~your Brazilian Booty girl~

Saturday, July 7, 2012

A nurse was apprehensive about rolling on her right side. But after I put the wax on, she said, "at least you aren't putting your finger in there." ~not your Brazilian proctologist~

Friday, July 6, 2012

In most cases, the hair comes in finner and thinner after you wax which is one of the main reasons Brazilians have become so popular. After only one visit to me, a girl said that she was shocked how much lighter her hair came in. She told me she never thought she'd be able to see her skin through her pubes.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

The woman who thought it was going to hurt to poop after she got a Brazilian also worried that she was going to poop on me.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Believe it or not, I don't like fireworks. The loud noises startle me and the explosions make me nervous. But I do like fireworks in the bedroom, however. And that is why I have devoted my life to making hoo-ha's happy and their explosions electrifying. ~your creative Brazilian fireworks coordinator~

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

You need to be open minded if you do Brazilians for a living. Any question is valid and will be received without judgement. So when a woman asked me if it was going to hurt when she pooped, I just said no.

Monday, July 2, 2012

I'm smiling because I love my job and I know it's worth it. ~your happy Brazilian Wax Tech~

Sunday, July 1, 2012

A new client yesterday told me she had only had one Brazilian Bikini Wax before and it was a nightmare. It took the girl 2 hours to do it then her lady parts were red, sore, bruised and scabbed for almost 3 weeks after. By the time things felt good again, her hair was back.