Wednesday, October 31, 2012

A girl got her 1ST ever Brazilian with me. No biggie. Then she went somewhere else because she had a gift certificate. The wax tech spent 1 hour 20 minutes trying to wax her. She couldn't get the hard wax out of a large patch in the front and sent her home with clumps of wax stuck on her. The technician had no suggestions how to remove the wax so the girl had to google it for an answer. Her husband used a hair dryer on her pubis to soften the wax and then had to scrape the wax off, layer by layer. The girl cried through the whole thing.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Hurricane Sandy has made it possible for all my teachers to get their beaches clean today. Enjoy your day off with a luxurious Brazilian Bikini Wax.

Monday, October 29, 2012

A woman came in and told me it was her birthday and she wanted to look exactly like she did 32 years ago. ~Birthday Brazilians Rock!~

Sunday, October 28, 2012

I love to learn. A mom told me men prefer our backsides because we get stretched out when we have babies. Glad Brazilians cover the whole territory.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

When a woman comes in for her 2nd Brazilian, it's always interesting to hear what she thinks about it. This week, a woman told me that not only did things feel better down there, her man was WAY more attentive.

Friday, October 26, 2012

I was waxing a new client who was growling and squirming and acting like she was thinking twice about this Brazilian thing. All of a sudden she asked me what my name was. I told her it was Mary Elizabeth, the M.E. in Mark & M.E. That was when she yelled out, "Jesus Christ, Mary Elizabeth, this really hurts!" She wanted to put me and Jesus together.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Two couples in their 50's were at a bar drinking. They started talking about Brazilians. The one guy gets his hair cut at Mark & ME and told the girls to come to us for their wax. The girls downloaded my helpful wax hint page and made the boys read it aloud. God, I wish I was there.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Sticks and Stones can break your bones, but prickly pubes can really hurt you. ~get your Brazilian today!~

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

It can be fun to scare small children with dark, spooky places and cobwebs during the Halloween season. What isn't fun is having the person who enjoys your lady parts rummaging through darkness and cobwebs. Don't scare anyone with your haunted forest. Get a Brazilian before the 31st.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Just cuz the sun ain't shining doesn't mean you can't keep the sun shining down below. Brazilians aren't just for summertime.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

I met a college girl last night who said she would never get a Brazilian, because she wouldn't want anyone seeing her parts. First, we all have the same parts. Second, I focus on the nasty hair and not your parts. Third, I prefer men's parts. And, finally, once you feel the pain from the first rip, you'll forget about me seeing your parts.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

After sharing with you that one of my clients told her toddler I was a doctor (to justify why I was touching her hiney), I had a Facebook friend refer to me as a Bush Doctor, which I think is a wonderful description of my services. I don't think it's necessary to put an MD next to my name, however, just a PHD. The Pretty Hoo-Ha Doctor. I like that better. ~M.E. Your Brazilian PHD~

Friday, October 19, 2012

A lady brought her toddler into the room while she got her Brazilian. The little girl was eating a snack and playing with a toy. It didn't look like she was paying any attention at all to what we were doing. When they left the salon, the little girl asked her mom why I touched her hiney. The mom told her I was a doctor.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

I have waxed females aged 13-75 and often get asked if there is an age limit or if I require parental consent. Waxing isn't permanent, like a tattoo, so there is no need for consent. And although it may seem shocking to some that a 13 year old would want a Brazilian, have you seen our young teens lately? They are more developed at 13 then I was at 25.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Women like to share their pet names for their lady parts with me. One woman calls it her "hen house." I was confused at first thinking about laying eggs and lots of hay covering the area. But she cleared up the confusion when she said it's the place where all the cocks want to go.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

My raccoon lady said she had been wanting to get a Brazilian at Mark & M.E. since she was 18 years old. I wasn't sure how old she was, but I have learned that the longer you wait, the more nervous you become. So I asked her how old she was. She was 30. That explained a lot.

Monday, October 15, 2012

The raccoon lady wouldn't stop closing her legs on me, so there was a lot of wax embedded in a large mound of hair in the center. When I finally found the leverage and right angle to remove the mound (by holding her knee down and having her man hold her other one), I showed her the stubborn glob of hair. She called it her wolf pet. the Brazilian animal story continues...

Sunday, October 14, 2012

What makes the raccoon story from yesterday even funnier was that I could hear my girlfriend, who was waiting in the hallway to get a Brazilian as well, laughing hysterically. I'm wrestling with a wailing woman, sweating like crazy and I can hear my friend laughing in the next room. That was helpful.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

If you have ever heard raccoons mating, it sounds like a cross between gregarious laughter and a bloody massacre. That is exactly what a 30 year old woman sounded like during her Brazilian yesterday.

Friday, October 12, 2012

I learn something new every day. Yesterday I learned that a man I know got a yeast infection in his mouth from kissing a woman in her private area.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Chicks who get Brazilians are TOUGH.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

I saw a friend with a plain, black cane last night. I told him it was boring and he needed to Vajazzle it. I think I should have said Bedazzle.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

I had a client tell me that when she used to get waxed in another city, her man always knew she had gotten a Brazilian without even knowing about the appointment. Apparently, he could smell it. There must have been a strong odor to the wax the technician used that lingered on her skin even hours after she got it done.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Even though there is a boat load of swearing in the wax rooms, there is plenty of love and gratitude that is expressed. A woman told me that her vagina loved me. Of course I had to tell her that I loved her vagina too. ~your Brazilian lover~

Sunday, October 7, 2012

It takes a lot to get me nervous in the wax room. But when a nine month pregnant woman with 2 inch hair between her legs starts doing her Lamaze breathing during the service, I was anticipating some water breaking on my table. ~your Brazilian OB/GYN~

Saturday, October 6, 2012

I love when people dream about Mark & M.E. A woman, who was long overdue for a wax, had a very vivid dream that Mark waxed her. She said he did it much differently in her dream, however. He sprayed her entire pubic area with the astringent first so she would get goose bumps. I can see him trying to be creative like that. ~keeping Brazilians in the family~

Friday, October 5, 2012

I asked a woman to hold her leg so she didn't kick me. She laughed and said "you've never been kicked before, have you?" I need to put cameras in the room. People would be shocked by how physical my job can be. ~your Brazilian punching bag~

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Certain things are unforgivable... like taking 40 minutes to give someone a Brazilian. I still have new clients that come in almost every day who tell me that is how long it took someone else to do it. I just don't get it.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

When you're getting down and dirty, and your parts are all prickly, your friend's face or private area could get a serious brush burn. In my circle of friends, we like to refer to that as a bush burn. This is why we stick to Brazilians over shaving.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Up until a couple months ago, I had only had men faint in the wax room. I am sad to say a woman couldn't handle the pain of the Brazilian and blacked out on me. She felt sick, sat up, got dizzy, laid back down, and passed out with her eyes open. It was really freaky.

Monday, October 1, 2012

I love getting Brazilians and can't imagine doing anything else with my lady parts, but when I get positive feedback from a client, I can't explain how wonderful it makes me feel. I received an email that said, "I want to thank you again and again for making me feel sexy every time I leave you. What did I do for sooo many years before?" This is why I do this for a living.