Monday, December 31, 2012

A SassySnatch follower sent me a link to an article in Health magazine about different vagina practices and their safety issues. They talk about Vajazzling. I have never wanted to glue rhinestones on a freshly waxed pubic area, because you never know how'll you skin will react. The article agrees with me.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

I'm still trying to wrap my head around this merkin thing. You can actually get one of these pubic wigs made out of human hair. That freaks me out a little. I think I would have to opt for synthetic.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Prostitutes would shave their entire pubic area to ensure no bugs were down there then put on a merkin, a pubic wig, for adornment. Seems counterproductive to me. ~your Brazilian Educator~

Friday, December 28, 2012

I was sitting on the beach talking to someone I had just met. Surprisingly, we started talking about Brazilians. She said that she studied women's history and read that prostitutes used to shave their entire pubic area to prove that they didn't have lice. I thought that was very interesting.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

If it ain't bald when I meet it, it's bald when I leave it. ~Fondly, your Brazilian Bushwhacker~

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Since my blog has been so well received the past couple years, I went ahead and published my manuscript. On Christmas Day, my book became available on Kindle. After a very loud scream, I started to cry. I put a ton of work into this project and it really happened. Seeing my name on Amazon is so surreal. The book was written to entertain and in some ways to educate, although there are times I know you will probably cringe. My dedication to pussies has finally paid off. The Happy Hoo-Ha is really happy!

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Christmas is a time to love one another unconditionally, even if you did leave too much tinsel on your tree.

Monday, December 24, 2012

This is such a hectic time in our lives that I think we should all chill out and enjoy our Brazilians.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Mark is a hairdresser. He never learned to wax. Yesterday he gave me a Brazilian in less than 10 minutes. Once again I am truly baffled by all of the technicians that are specifically trained to do Brazilians and take forever to do one. It just doesn't make sense.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

I feel like one of Santa's little helpers. ~your Brazilian Elf~

Friday, December 21, 2012

A guy told his girl he was going to play the song "Welcome To The Jungle" every time he took her pants off. It was time for a Brazilian.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Give your reindeer a smooth landing.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

I left a Christmas Tree on the top of a woman's bikini line. It was very festive. I told her she needed to tell her man to leave a present under her tree.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

This Christmas season hasn't been as crazy as usual, so I think I need to reiterate my favorite holiday mantra: You cannot have a happy holiday with a hairy hoo-ha.

Monday, December 17, 2012

I don't care if you have butt zits.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Don't know what to give your man for Christmas? Obvious to me. Get a Brazilian put a big, red bow on it. Beats a sweater.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

One of my regular's was given 3 Groupons to another salon for Brazilians. When she walked in, no one acknowledged her for a solid 10 minutes. The room was small & sterile, like a gynecologist office. She had to ask the woman to put on gloves. The woman had to find some. She wasn't lying flat on a table; her upper body was elevated which doesn't work well at all. She was never asked to lift a leg or roll on her side. There was no clean up station. When my client asked what she could use to clean up, the woman told her to go to the drugstore and buy cortisone cream. After a very long, awkward service, she left sticky and hairy. She threw the other 2 Groupons out and came to see me yesterday. She said she was really happy to be back home again.

Friday, December 14, 2012

A new client told me how nice I was yesterday. I wondered what she thought a Brazilian Technician would be like. Did she think I was going to be mean?

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Although I am a huge fan of vagina's, I saw a wireless mouse in the shape of a vagina that was pretty creepy. It's only redeeming factor was that it was hairless.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

During this holiday season, the only thing that should be hairy is Santa's beard. ~your Brazilian Elf~

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

A girl called for an appointment for a Brazilian, and I told her to come right over. She told me she couldn't be there for an hour, because she needed to find her leather strap for her mouth.

Monday, December 10, 2012

A woman in her 60's came in for a wax. SHe was going down south to visit her boyfriend. When I finished her Brazilian, she sat up and said Happy Hanukkah to him!

Sunday, December 9, 2012

You don't have to worry about saying anything stupid during your Brazilian that will get you in my book, because it has already been published!

Saturday, December 8, 2012

A husband told his wife she really needed to get a Brazilian, because she looked like Buckwheat with a scissor hole.

Friday, December 7, 2012

A little bit of tinsel on the top of a tree can be pretty, but a lot of it is just plain messy.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

I started this blog 977 days ago, because I have a lot of funny things to say about vagina's and I was hoping that some day I would get my manuscript published. Well, for all of my supporters out there, I am psyched to say that I finally did get it published and I hope all of you will go to the following link and get a copy. Let the hoo-ha reign!

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

You can't have a Happy Hanukkah with a Hairy Hoo-Ha either, so get your Brazilian today!

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

There's three weeks until Christmas. Still don't know what to get your man? Give him a vacation to the sandy beaches of Brazil.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Camel toe is a bizarre expression. What makes it even more horrifying is when it's bumpy because it's covered in hair.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

The other day I was hanging out with a friend and having a few cocktails. He told me that he was very thankful that I turned his wife onto Brazilian Waxing. As he was rubbing his cheeks with his hands, he repeatedly told me how much better it felt on his face.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Many women participated in the "No Shave November" because they didn't like their men with hair on their face. They retaliated by letting their hair grow as well, just not on their face. Well November is over, so get all your hairy bushes in to see me today! ~your Brazilian Bush Master~