Monday, September 30, 2013

Women often complain that their vagina feels hot after they get a Brazilian. Hello... making you hot is the point!

Sunday, September 29, 2013

A girl left the salon after getting her first Brazilian, called her best friend, and told her she couldn't feel her vagina.

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Once again a woman told me she waited months between Brazilians because being hairy kept her from having sex. She complained that it hurt more. The wax may not be the only thing that hurts after such a long hiatus.

Friday, September 27, 2013

There are days when I want to use a hose. ~author of Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha~

Thursday, September 26, 2013

I can understand being addicted to sex, but not with myself. ~Baffled Brazilian~

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

If my man told me he didn't want to have sex with me because he was addicted to masturbating, I would get a new man. ~Brazilian Advice Doctor~

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

When you're feeling sad and blue. Let your waxer do something nice to you. I'll rip your hair nice and fast. And promise then you'll have a blast.

Monday, September 23, 2013

Yesterday's scenario is just another example of why getting a Brazilian is not a luxury but a medical necessity.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

If your hair is really dark and coarse, it can be very uncomfortable to let it grow out long enough to get a Brazilian. During the growing out stage, one of my client's had relations with her fiancé. Afterwards, he told her that "her shit down there really messed up his shit down there."

Saturday, September 21, 2013

A girl got on the table and said she was a baby. I told her I waxed lots of babies. She said she was really nervous. I assured her I was really fast. When she lifted her leg in the air, she said she was afraid she was going to kick me. I told her I've been kicked before and that she wasn't big enough to hurt me. I completed her Brazilian without crying, a nervous breakdown or injury.

Friday, September 20, 2013

There should be a warning on a Brazilian, because when there is no hair to create friction, things can get very slippery.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

I have been asked to be the entertainment at a bridal shower. Since Mark & I have been married nearly 27 years, I do Brazilians for a living, I wrote a funny book, and I have stories galore that I love to tell and share, the bride asked me to do a question & answer/storytelling gig at her party. Could be a new career.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

I dare you to tell a random person about your Happy Hoo-Ha and report back to me how they respond. ~spreading the Brazilian word~

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

I'm going to touch you where you pee and where you poop. Get over it. ~your thorough waxing specialist~

Monday, September 16, 2013

How different my life would be if I still taught first grade. For starters, seven years old girls naturally have Brazilians.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

A 39 week pregnant woman, who was expecting her second child, came in for a wax. Soon after we started her Brazilian, she felt a lot of wetness between her legs. It appears she passed her mucus plug upon getting on the table. I suppose most technicians would have been grossed out by all of the gunk that was coming out of her, but I have to admit that I was pretty excited. So we took a break from the wax, I gave her some wipes, she cleaned up the area, and we finished her wax. I was kind of disappointed that her water didn't break, because that would have been really exciting, but knowing that she was one step closer to having this baby was pretty cool as well.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

When I researched the negative side effects of our Benjamin Buddies, the first thing I saw was that "your vagina gets so muscular that it chokes cocks to death." I think that could come in handy. ~Brazilian research continues...~

Friday, September 13, 2013

Now I'm thinking I may have to get me some of those Ben Wa Bad Boys. ~expanding my Brazilian Horizon~

Thursday, September 12, 2013

So what happens when you're walking through Wegmans and your Ben Wa Balls start to fall out? Do you nonchalantly try to shove them back in or just pray they don't fall out off your panties onto the floor? ~Brazilian Dilemma~

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

I did not realize that some of my clients wear Ben Wa balls in their vagina all day long to strengthen the muscles between their legs. A woman was worried about keeping the balls in her vagina during her Brazilian, because she was afraid they would shoot out and break one of my windows when she flinched.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

A young hoo-ha may look prettier, but an older hoo-ha has the power.

Monday, September 9, 2013

It is becoming more popular for men to get between their cheeks waxed. We weren't sure what to call it on the price list. But, the more I think about it, the more I like Crack to Sack.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

If we were built like baboons, then we wouldn't need to wax our asses.

Saturday, September 7, 2013

No one should have rectal hair. Not men, women or even dogs. Cleanliness is next to Godliness, you know. ~Hair removal wisdom~

Friday, September 6, 2013

The Sphynx Cat, or hairless kitty, is fun to pet.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

When a girl told me she couldn't get a Brazilian last week because it was Shark Week, it took me a minute to realize she wasn't talking about the t.v. show.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

If you color the grey hair on your head, then why are you OK with grey hair down below? In my opinion, you have two options: you can color it or you can wax it. Not only does grey pubic hair make you feel old, it can be coarse and uncomfortable. So do yourself a favor and get a Brazilian. This way no one will know it is grey and your aging lady parts will be our little secret.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

I have been doing some research on Merkins and I still cannot believe that anyone would wear a wig between their legs. -befuddled Brazilian girl-

Monday, September 2, 2013

Holidays are a great time to enjoy your Brazilian. And if you don't have anyone to share it with, go find BOB.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Not only did she have me in a pretty strong scissor hold, she hung onto my ass for support. Brazilians can be very intimate.