Friday, February 28, 2014

A girl told her mom she was going to try a Brazilian. The mother could not believe her daughter would go through the humiliation of having a stranger do that to her. She assured her mom that coming to me was like going to a doctor. A bikini doctor.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

You can get ingrown hairs from shaving, waxing or doing nothing. They are annoying. A woman told me she removed an ingrown hair that had a root so big that it had its own zip code.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

I think it would be cool to live in a world called HooHavia. ~your Brazilian daydreamer~

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Next week I am going back to Florida to do a book signing at a very busy local coffee shop. Since there are so many snowbirds in Florida this time of the year, I think my charming yellow book about Brazilians is going to cause quite a stir.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Once the lady in the pool recovered from the shock that I wrote a book called The Happy Hoo-Ha, she said she did not think she could ever read a book about it, because the whole notion of a Brazilian seemed so outrageous to her. That was when her husband, who was sitting under an umbrella about thirty feet from us, raised his hand and said "I want to read it!"

Sunday, February 23, 2014

I was hanging out in a pool with 5 women over the age of 70. The one has a son who is a very successful author. We were talking about finding an agent. The one lady did not know I had written a book and asked me what it was about. I told her it was about Brazilian Bikini Waxing. She thought she misheard me and asked me to repeat myself. So I said it again. That was when she got the most frightened look on her face and started sinking into the water like she had had the wind knocked out of her. One of the other ladies rushed over to her, pulled her up, gave her a big hug and started laughing hysterically.

Saturday, February 22, 2014

It is hard not to think about my job every single day. There are reminders all around me. For example,I was sitting on our porch reading a book when I looked up and saw a man who looked like a gorilla. The length and density of his upper body hair completely covered every square inch of his skin. It is 80 degrees and humid here and I cannot even imagine how hot and uncomfortable all of his hair has to be. It was making me sweat! And I shudder to think how unruly it was under his bathing trunks. I was daydreaming about going after this man with a hedge clippers. I can see the headlines now "Crazed New York woman attacks innocent man on the beach with hedge clippers." ~your Brazilian Botanist~

Friday, February 21, 2014

If you're bored in the bedroom, take that bad-ass feeling you get when you walk out of our salon with a fresh Brazilian and start your own Romance Novel.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

A man with a very large piercing just happened to have a very long penis, even in its relaxed state. So my thought is if you want your man to have a longer one, maybe you should encourage him to get a big, heavy ring punctured in the tip of his most prized possession. But be careful how you approach the subject, however, because it may not go over well. ~strange advice from your friendly Wax Queen~

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Now that I am doing more Brozillians, I am seeing more piercings. And I have to admit that I am baffled by how large of a ring some men can put in their member.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

I am reading a book called the Secret. It talks about how your positive thoughts will lead to positive actions. And that got me thinking about getting a Brazilian Bikini Wax. (Of course it did!) If you come to the salon dreading that it is going to be the worst pain in your life, then it will be. But if you come in thinking that it is going to be quick and easy and not a big deal, then that is what it will be. Just food for thought on this beautiful morning.

Monday, February 17, 2014

I discovered an interesting benefit to giving a man a Brazilian. When he squirms off the table, which happens with both men and women, I have something to hang onto so he does not actually fall to the floor.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

I have officially left the bush and am headed towards palm trees. I will do my best to be clever while I am away. Usually the rum runners help. ~your Brazilian sun worshipper~

Saturday, February 15, 2014

I received an email from a guy who thanked me for making him feel comfortable during his wax. He was surprised at how much we laughed during the service. I vowed long ago to make sure no one ever felt awkward while getting a Brazilian with me. We all have similar parts that we want hair free, so it should not be a big deal. Besides, it makes my day much more enjoyable when I treat my clients like friends I am seeing at a party.

Friday, February 14, 2014

I would not be the Brazilian Wax Queen if it was not for Valentine's Day. In fact, there would be no Mark & M.E. if I didn't say "I do" 27 years ago. So here is a shout out to Mark for making me his Queen on this very special day.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

A single mom, who works full time and goes to school full time, came into the salon feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. As soon as she got on the table, she started crying, and it was not from the pain of the Brazilian. My goal during this service was to make her laugh. While I was waxing between her cheeks, I told her the story of the lady who had such a big hiney that she needed her boyfriend to hold up her left butt cheek so I could wax that area on her. The laughter in the room was gregarious and I felt like I scored a home run.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Tis the season for shapes. Left a "heart" on 2 ladies yesterday. ~your Brazilian Sculptor~

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

In the third "Fifty Shades" book, the main character surprises her husband and gives herself a Brazilian. She said that she had no idea the absence of pubic hair could make such a difference. Tell us something we don't know.

Monday, February 10, 2014

It is all over the news that Brazilians are "out" and the "natural" look is in. And I have to agree that hairy and sweaty are a more natural state. It doesn't mean that I like it.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

I love making people laugh. Who would have thought that a person lying naked from the waist down would be my stage? ~your Brazilian comedienne~

Saturday, February 8, 2014

So you may not think you need a Brazilian this Valentine's Day because you don't have anyone special in your life. But, no one is more special then you. So spoil yourself and get one anyways. Besides, it can be very uncomfortable when long hair gets tangled with BOB.

Friday, February 7, 2014

I had a girl tell me that "sex sucks when you shave." I think she would be a good spokesperson for Brazilians and Mark & ME.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

It only takes five To know you're alive. One little rip And your lady parts will thrive!

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

I posted some close up's of my face to demonstrate the changes in my skin since I started using a product called Nerium. My Facebook page lost a few "likes" as a result. I think I better stick to chatting about hairy v-j-jays and smelly snatches.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

The definition of considerate is being thoughtful of others. I had a client perform a very considerate act while I was giving her a Brazilian. She jumped off the table in the middle of the service, walked to the far corner of the room, and passed gas politely.

Monday, February 3, 2014

I'd make a fortune in Vegas. Not gambling. Just waxing. If the women aren't naked, they might as well be!

Sunday, February 2, 2014

What I liked most about Tosh's performance was that he talked about subjects that most people find taboo and found humor in them. I feel the same way when I write my blog or think about the contents of The Happy Hoo-Ha. Millions of women get Brazilians, but there are just as many people who are embarrassed to talk about them. And I know there are countless people who are offended that I share my stories about my career publicly. But I truly believe that finding the humor in a bizarre service like a Brazilian Wax not only takes some of the fear out of the experience, but can make it a lot fun. So on this beautiful Superbowl Sunday, let's say cheers to finding more humor in our lives and not giving a shit if people like it or not.

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Last night I saw the comedienne Tosh in Vegas. He talked about "stanky snatches" and, for some reason, I felt right at home.