Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Some people wait a long time between waxes in the winter. And although I don't really think pubic hair keeps you any warmer in our less-than-tropical climate, it is a good time of the year to save some money. So a woman came in and told me that it was finally time for her to remove her winter coat. She wasn't kidding. It was the kind of coat you'd need in Siberia!

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

In the first 50 Shades of Grey, Christian expects Ana to get waxed, but she doesn't. Sub or no sub, doesn't he know women don't really like to be told what to do?

Monday, April 28, 2014

I can't imagine anyone not getting a Brazilian who lived in a ninety-degree climate.

Sunday, April 27, 2014

There are times when you can't wear panties under a fitted dress, because the lines look tacky. Having a powder puff in the lower front of your dress looks tacky as well. Another reason Brazilians are so important.

Saturday, April 26, 2014

The gentleman from yesterday also said it wasn't a thorough waxing, because the technician didn't seem comfortable working on his private area. You can't do this job if you're afraid of touching someone's junk. It's just another body part, and it shouldn't be a big deal to have to work with it. Besides, it doesn't bite, you know.

Friday, April 25, 2014

I have always found it interesting to hear about how other technicians perform Brazilians. Women have been sharing their experiences with me for as long as I can remember. Now that I am waxing more men, I am getting another perspective on their experiences. A guy told me that the last place he got waxed put him on his hands and knees which he made him feel very uncomfortable. It makes me uncomfortable too. Rest assured, you can leave your doggie positions at home.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Usually women pull away from me when I am giving them a Brazilian. I think it is human nature to want to go in the opposite direction from a source that is causing you pain. But I had a lady actually roll towards me after I did that dreaded rip in the front that hurts the most. Not only did she roll towards me so she was completely on her left side, she hugged my body. Brazilian waxing breeds intimacy. It's a beautiful thing.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Every time you get a Brazilian, it gets a little easier. When I was waxing a girl for the second time, she was proud of herself for staying composed. She told me that the first time I waxed her, she was naming all of the twelve apostles.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

I was watching the original Jaws movie last night, and I feel the same anticipation every time the classic music starts and the shark is on the prowl. When they show the shark scoping out all of the people's legs who are swimming and playing in the water, I couldn't help but think that is how men react when we get a fresh Brazilian.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Many women get their first Brazilian before they get married. I had a girl wish me a happy anniversary, because it was one year ago when we met and when she got married.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Today, millions of people around the world celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. Hopefully my Brazilian devotees will experience another kind of resurrection on this special day.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

A man told me that getting waxed "between the cheeks" was one of the most rewarding things he had ever done in his life.

Friday, April 18, 2014

With the amount of waxes scheduled at the salon this week, I know for a fact that there will a ton of Easter Bunnies who will be excited that the mommies of the household don't have any Easter Grass in their baskets.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

When do you know it has been too long since your last Brazilian? When you take a bath with your two year old and she asks you why you have a "black bajina."

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Yesterday I had to work through some pretty heavy terrain in the glorious jungles of Brazil. Today I feel like I was mauled by a wild animal from that very same jungle.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Sunday is Easter. The only place your man should find Easter grass is in a child's basket, not yours.

Monday, April 14, 2014

A new client told her friend she was going to get her vagina violated.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

I woke up this morning and was plagued with that nagging question, "what do chicks do in prison about their pubic hair?" They obviously don't get Brazilians and I can't imagine they are allowed to use razors.

Saturday, April 12, 2014

A husband left money on the kitchen counter for his wife to take care of her "situation" and he wasn't referring to the dude from The Jersey Shore.

Friday, April 11, 2014

My back must look really comfy, because I have many clients who don't even bother to try to hold their left leg up. They just rest it on my back like they're chilling back on a recliner. I guess it's a good sign that I make people at ease while I'm hurting their hoo-ha's.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Women often giggle when they get Brazilians. It seems to be the way some people cope with the pain. I had another first happen at Mark & M.E. recently. I had a man giggle while I gave him a Brozillian. Although he apologized for laughing throughout the service, I thought it was hysterical.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

The week before spring break is very busy at the salon. A woman told me that since she couldn't control the amount of weight she gained before her cruise, at least she could control the hair that stuck out of her bathing suit.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

I visited another college campus this weekend and realized a college would be a perfect place to set up a Brazilian salon. There were girls everywhere!

Monday, April 7, 2014

When someone emails me for a date to remove a furry animal, how can I say no? ~your Brazilian exterminator~

Sunday, April 6, 2014

When I was waxing a soccer player who started pushing her leg against my back, I confess that I was close to being flattened on the table.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Snap, crackle, holy crap, I popped your Brazilian Cherry!

Friday, April 4, 2014

Getting waxed "between the cheeks" is vital to good genital grooming. And if we refer to that area on men as crack to sac, it only makes sense that we refer to that area on women as crack to crack.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

I love to hear that people Facebook stalk me. It means that my crazy ramblings about the life of a Brazilian Wax Queen are as amusing to others as they are to me.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Getting a Brazilian can affect a man like dangling a carrot in front of a rabbit.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

If Mark had not put a diamond ring in a glass of champagne 28 years ago today, there would be no Mark & ME and I highly doubt I would have discovered the wonders of the Brazilian Bikini Wax.