Saturday, October 31, 2015

I'd like to give a shout out @BrotherWease for letting us come onto his show yesterday. He has been so supportive of me. Kelly and I had a lot of fun being on the show together. We were thinking of starting our own radio podcast. The biggest decision would be what to call it.  "The Vagina Lady and Her Peach?"

Friday, October 30, 2015

If you're interested in purchasing The Happy Trail on Amazon, you need to type in The Happy Hoo-Ha Trilogy. The Happy Trail doesn't come up on it's own yet.  Don't know why. Hopefully, when we sell more, it'll come up. Thank you!
Join the author of The Happy Hoo-Ha Trilogy and Rochester's famous Weeny Waxer on Brother Wease this morning at 9am. If you aren't in Rochester, listen to us on Heart Radio.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Please join yours truly and Miss Kelly Dalton on the Brother Wease show FM Radio 95.1 tomorrow at 9:00am. We are celebrating M.E.'s 3rd book, The Happy Trail. We have a fun halloween gift for Wease that is so cool. Laughs are guaranteed!
Yep, I wrote a Happy Hoo-Ha Trilogy!!!
Guess what came in the mail today!!!!  The Happy Trail.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

I know so many people who say that fall is their favorite season. It has never been mine. I'm not crazy about things dying around me, the cooler temperatures and all of the rain we tend to get. As I was trying to push my dog out the door this morning to pee, I understand why he didn't want to go out there. I decided it is a good morning to spend a little extra time in bed. Then I got to thinking about all of the women who get lazy with their Brazilians this time of year and that makes me sad. If you're going to be spending more time in bed, shouldn't you be prepared for more pleasure?

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

I bragged in my books about how I always finish when someone gets on my table for a Brazilian wax. I can't brag anymore. I had a 390 pound woman come in for a wax who couldn't hold her parts out of the way for me to perform a thorough wax. It was very frustrating. I wasn't sure if it would have been awkward to have one of my employees come in and help me. Even though she admitted to me how much she weighed, I didn't want to embarrass her by having another person come into the room. I apologized to her for not being thorough and promised if she came in again, I would figure out a way to get more of it done in the future.

Monday, October 26, 2015

Leaving next Sunday the 8th for a week. If you have any parts that haven't been groomed since summer, please don't wait until I get back. You'd hate to scare yourself on Halloween!

Saturday, October 24, 2015

Laugh for the day...As I was giving a girl a Brazilian yesterday, she had a death grip on my rib cage. She kept apologizing for hanging onto me, but she wouldn't let go. At one point, her hand touched the side of my breast. She apologized even more profusely for touching me there. I told her my bra was padded and my boobs were fake, so I didn't feel a thing.

Friday, October 23, 2015

After I finished waxing my last client yesterday, I hung out with her and another woman in our waiting room. We were just chilling out, talking about random naughty stuff and laughing our asses off. We have so many awesome clients that come to Mark & M.E. I could have sat there for hours if we would have had some good red wine and a few appetizers. It was another reminder why I love this business. All of you.

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Ordered my new plates today.  Mark wouldn't drive a vehicle that said WXQUEEN which totally surprised me.  He is a hairdresser for pete's sake. A dear friend of mine helped me with my decision. New plates say HPYNESS.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

A woman told me she felt like a porn star after she got her first wax. That's a good thing!

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Check out The Threesome Show Episode #24  I was the guest that day!
My license plate on my summer car says Wax It All, which is very fitting for a woman who does Brazilians for a living. Yesterday, I got a new car for winter. The big decision is what to say on these plates. Any suggestions?

Sunday, October 18, 2015

Yesterday, a woman came in and told me that she sacrificed morning sex to come get waxed by me. She knows the rules about not getting lucky before a wax. She also told me that by making that sacrifice, it was obvious she valued her relationship with me more than the relationship with her boyfriend. It may seem strange to you, but it was music to my ears.
I've always wanted to be a motivational speaker for people suffering with fibromyalgia. It's something I've been struggling with since I was a teen. There are times when fiber sufferers have "flare ups." It's probably different for everyone, but it can be really frustrating. For me, my body feels like I was hit by a bus. My bones hurt. My muscles spasm, and I feel achey everywhere, like I have the flu. There's also an overwhelming sense of exhaustion, which I hate. In my opinion, you have two choices when your body flares up. You can succumb to it or fight it. I fight it by getting out of bed and moving around.  I get a cup of coffee and crawl back in bed to read. That gets my mind off of it. Dwelling on the pain makes it worse. Embrace the day with a positive attitude. Your body will thank you. I want more than your hoo-ha to be happy!

Friday, October 16, 2015

Wait until you hear what happened today. I got a call from a client who was in the hospital who is 28 weeks pregnant. Four days ago, her water broke. That is very dangerous if you aren't close to full term. The doctors told her she had to stay in the hospital until the baby is born. Her goal is to keep that baby inside of her until 35 weeks. She said the only problem is that she needed a wax. She convinced the doctors to let her leave the hospital for one hour to come to Mark & M.E. She had a friend pick her up and bring her to the salon. The doctor told her if the umbilical cord fell out, she was to get into a doggie position and call 911. It was the most nerve wracking Brazilian ever. I was afraid I'd see the cord slipping out of her. I was afraid to push down to her stomach. I was afraid to touch her. It was surreal knowing that she should have been at the hospital, but she begged for an hour repreive to come see me. I love being a part of a woman's journey through pregnancy, but this was out of control.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

I went to spin class this morning and my knees were creaky and my legs were achey. I was feeling a little frustrated that my legs didn't feel better when a woman my age came in and got on the bike next to me. She had one leg. Yep, I felt like an ass. Stop bitching friends. Smile and appreciate what you do have, not what you don't. Sometimes even the happy lady who writes happy books needs a reminder once in awhile.
~Author of The Happy Hoo-Ha Trilogy~

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

I think if I was an outsider looking in, I would think that I have a strange occupation.
Fortunately, I know I have the best job in the world.
~Brazilian Gratitude~

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Fall is a beautiful time of the year, because the leaves change color. I have many women who have noticed other things are changing color too. As the leaves fall to the ground and the trees become barren, you may want to help your colorful leaves fall off your tree too. I'm here to landscape your trees ladies. Don't be afraid of this time of the year. Embrace it.
~Your Brazilian Landscaping Specialist~

Monday, October 12, 2015

I just got a message from a guy in New Mexico who wanted a back wax Saturday. He googled waxing and Mark & M.E. came up first.  Every week we have somebody from another state try to make an appointment with us. I do a lot of social media and google analytic stuff to help promote the salon and my books. I guess it's working. Although he'd have to travel on two planes to get to me, so maybe it isn't working quite the way it's supposed too...

Sunday, October 11, 2015

The other day, I talked about all of the brides that come in for a wax before their weddings and how happy it makes me to be part of such a special time in their lives. There is another group of women who bring me just as much joy. This week, I waxed seven women who were in their 8th or 9th month of pregnancy. One girl was due in 9 days. Another woman was pregnant with twins. I absolutely love being a part of such an important time in a woman's life. It is a bit more complicated when a woman is that far along, but I love the challenge. And I love pregnant mommies. That's my direction of gratitude on this beautiful day.

Saturday, October 10, 2015

When I wax myself and I get to the area that kind of hurts, I exhale as I pull that particular section of hair off. I waxed a woman today who I hadn't seen in months that sported quite the full afro. As I was taking off the hair on that extra sensitive part, I let out a loud exhale as I ripped off that part.  She started to laugh after I removed the hair and said, "Did you just exhale?" I didn't realize I had done that. I started to laugh and said, "OMG, I think I did!" I told her that's what I do when I wax myself. She couldn't believe how loudly I exhaled. I think I was actually anticipating her pain and wanted to make it a little easier on her. I told her that I didn't realize I exhaled, but I knew that it was going to hurt really badly. She assured me that it hurt  really f'***ng bad, but the exhalation and subsequent laughter helped get her through it. I usually am pretty ambivalent to the client's pain. Today, I was sharing her misery. I think I might be getting soft in my old age.

Friday, October 9, 2015

I woke up at 4:30 and was listening to the rain. I was thinking that people might be grumpy today because of the weather. And then I got thinking that being grumpy about something like the weather is such a waste of time. I received some really sad news yesterday. A long standing client of mine got news that her 3 year old has 6 weeks to live. She has been fighting cancer almost her whole life. She has endured endless hours of chemo and radiation. She is an adorable little trooper you would all love. A few months ago, they thought she was in remission. They just found out it's back with a vengeance and she won't be able to beat it. My heart is breaking for this family. No one deserves this. Now they have a right to be grumpy. So I'm sitting here feeling grateful for pretty much every damn thing in my life and hoping that everyone embraces this rainy day and says a prayer for this family.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Consideration is today's unhappy rant. Salons work on a schedule. If your are late or don't show, it affects everyone. No shows can result in a gross loss in revenue and we all need our revenue to pay our bills. Being late is impolite to the patrons who make it to their appointment on time. A simple phone call does wonders. We have had so many people cancel at the last minute, come in very late or not bother to show that we felt the need to express our frustration. Please be considerate of your nail, hair and wax techs. We are all trying to provide the best service possible and your inconsideration can make it difficult to do our jobs and be available to the clients that make it to their appointments as scheduled.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Every week, I seem to wax at least one bride. Some have never been waxed before. Others are regulars. I absolutely love that I am a part of such a special day. I also love that so many more women are enjoying the sexy feeling that Brazilians give. A simple bikini wax is a part of the past. A completely bald, smooth playing field is the ultimate playground and the future.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Huge!! discover at #marknme today!
The biggest ingrown I've ever seen.
It was very long and very lean.
It seemed to come from the depths of China
Via the route of this woman's vagina.
I yelped when I saw it.
I was in awe and in fear
That it came from the depths
Of her derriere. 
She wasn't afraid,
Just a little surprised.
I found this gem in her crotch.
It was the ultimate prize.

Monday, October 5, 2015

  I can't believe they let me say "kick ass" on craigslist!

Sunday, October 4, 2015

#marknme is looking for a receptionist with an esthetic or nail license if you know anyone...
I'm a Pittsford Wegman's kind of gal, but only early in the morning when it isn't crazy busy. I'm also a big fan of Trader Joe's. If I need a few things and it's the middle of the day, I go to Trader's. It's easier and faster and they always seem to have what I need. Today was the first time I felt uneasy shopping at Trader's. The patrons were cranky and pushy and I couldn't get out of there quick enough. It actually made me feel anxious. I hate playing bumper cars with grumpy people at a grocery store. When I went to the cash register, I said good morning and started conversation with the guy cashing me out. After a few minutes, he thanked me for smiling and being pleasant to him. I commented that the people shopping this morning were pretty cranky. He agreed with me. He had eleven minutes until his shift was up and he couldn't wait to get out there. He was thankful that I came through his line so his work day ended on a positive note. What's wrong with people? It's a beautiful, sunny day. Be nice to one another. Is it really that hard to smile?

Saturday, October 3, 2015

A woman walked through the front door of our salon that I hadn't seen in several months. I was excited to see her. I escorted her upstairs and asked her where she had been. She said she has been doing herself. In fact, she said she has been a waxurbator. Now that is an interesting twist on a common, self-reliant word. Nope, I can't make this stuff up.

Friday, October 2, 2015

I love my job. I laughed so much today. I'm not even sure which story to share with you, there were so many good ones. For example, one client told me that her husband sent her two emojis as she was on her way to Mark & M.E. One was of a peach. The other was of a tongue. Tell me that's not priceless?

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Mark & I got back into town today. As I was walking through the airport, I saw a handful of women that I have waxed. Some haven't been to me for awhile, but I absolutely recognized them. The funny thing is that I couldn't remember everyone's name that I saw. However, I could tell you a naughty secret about each and every one.