Woke up at 4 feeling bright eyed and bushy tailed and looked over to find Mark reading a book. I started to laugh. I told him I was off to the beach to write, and it didn't surprise him in the least. I hope everyone finds someone in their life who loves them unconditionally and doesn't think they are a weirdo for getting up two hours before the sunrise to rush to the beach to write.

2015 reflections. My initial thought was that it was an incredibly stressful year for us for many reasons. But I never like to dwell on negative crap, so I kept thinking... Our oldest got a job in Denver after he graduated college. He has always wanted to live there. Our daughter graduated college and spent a month in Australia, which had always been a dream for her. Our youngest is in college down south near a beach. Need I say more?  We had a successful year at Mark & ME. I published
 The Happy Trail, my third book. Everyone is healthy. I'm still happily married. Yea, it was a good year.

Our lives are so hectic this time of year that it's easy to get caught up in the chaos. One of the things that grounds me is listening to the surf, which is part of the reason I escape to the Keys every Christmas. It's a constant, calming sound that puts everything into perspective. Don't get me wrong, I love the fun and the craziness of everyday life, especially at Mark & M.E., but don't be surprised if one day you walk into the salon and hear the sounds of the ocean singing through our stereo speakers.

I'm sitting on a deck, overlooking the ocean, watching a pelican dive bomb for fish, listening to the sound of the surf, and doing payroll. This is why I work so hard. #happy #marknme

We found out Christmas Eve that the weather made it impossible to fly through Atlanta Christmas morning. It took an hour to talk to an agent who simply informed me the airlines couldn't get us to Florida until Sunday. We weren't willing to lose two days of vacation because of some silly tornado, so we found a different route on a different airline to get us to a different destination in the Sunshine State. We also had to change our son's itinerary since he had the same problem and lives out West. Was it frustrating? Yes. It most certainly was. But we turned it into an adventure and made it safe and sound on the same day as planned so many months ago. You can let the stressors and inconveniences of the holiday consume you or you can work with them, figure it out and end up with a happy ending. I will preach until I pass what my father's favorite saying was...Don't Worry, Be Happy!

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

12 drooling daddy's
11 pussies primping
10 lips a lushing
9 labia dancing
8 mouths a munching
7 snatches smiling
6 guys a licking
5 gold clit rings
4 cheerful beaves
3 frisky hoo-ha's 
2 twinkly dildos
and his package standing tall like a tree.

After what I witnessed yesterday at the salon, I wonder if anyone remembers why we celebrate Christmas anymore? As a Catholic, we celebrate the birth of Christ. It's a pretty big deal in our religion. Yet, in today's world, it seems like it is only about how many presents you can buy, how much money you can spend, how many cookies you can bake and basically how stressed out you can be. If you don't believe in the whole Jesus thing, I get it. But shouldn't this be a time about family and love, not about extending your budget and having a nervous breakdown? Slow down, enjoy your family and try to figure out something good and happy that this time of year means to you. And, of course, make time to have a happy hoo-ha.

 During this holiday season, there is a lot to remember. Sadly, as we age, the hair on our head is not the only hair that turns gray on our body. One of my most memorable holiday traditions is watching the cartoon Christmas shows on television. There are many adorable Christmas characters that have been created over the years. You have to admit that the abominable snowman isn't the cutest one to choose from, even though he definitely has some redeeming qualities. In my opinion, a sleek reindeer with a bright nose is much cuter. That got me thinking...have you seen your favorite wax technician this holiday season yet?

Santa Claus is coming to town. Do you want him to see your big bush and sigh a big frown?
(there are 3 business days left to make Santa happy...)

Only 3 more business days to get your parts primped properly for the upcoming holiday. Please email us to reserve a time at marknmesalon@gmail.com.

A happy holiday and a hairy hoo-ha are not synonymous phrases.

I told one of my male clients that his wife needed to come see me. He said that she was growing her winter bush again and that he needed his protective eye gear before venturing to her nether regions. Don't make your man hunt for an endangered species. Make his quest an easy one. I promise you will both be rewarded.

Tis the season of ugly sweaters. I had a woman ask me to get rid of her ugly sweater, and it wasn't a garment attached to her torso!
~Holiday Hair Humor~

I have an idea for what to give your man for Christmas. On Christmas morning, enter the bedroom wearing high heals and a big, bushy merkin.  At first, he'll be mortified thinking you grew your bush out. And then... voila! Remove that bad boy in your sexiest way and show him your perfectly shiny hard wood floor!

Today, I answered the phone by saying, "Mark & ME. This is M.E." The client asked if ME had an opening in 10 minutes. I said "Absolutely, who is this?" She said, "Yu."

Check out my 2nd comedic debut on YouTube. Just type in Sassysnatch and let me know what you think!

I'm really proud of The Happy Hoo-Ha Trilogy, especially this one. The poems and illustrations are hilarious.  So guess what I did?

Your man asked for a sphinx cat for Christmas.

It's hard to have a happy holiday with a hairy hoo-ha, so come see the lady who can guarantee to make your hoo-ha happy. Yea, that's m.e.!

I don't want to find any ornaments hanging off your tree. Keep it clean this holiday season.
~Your Brazilian Bush Inspector~

Join Sassysnatch this Saturday at 10PM at the Firehouse Saloon 814 Clinton Ave. She'll be joining The Sirens & Stilettos Cabaret: A Holiday Burlesque Sensation. Don't forget to bring canned goods!

Kitties can easily choke on tinsel. You should always protect your kitty!

If Rudolph had hair covering his nose, you wouldn't see when that little bulb got red and swollen. You wouldn't know if he was happy and found his big surprise. That could refer to other things as well. Happy Sunday!

 A client of mine works in a large retail store that sells a wide variety of merchandise. There is a beauty section that sells makeup and other personal items. One of the things they sell is the at home wax kit that doesn't work very well. Ever since she got put in this part of the store, she talks people out of buying the kit and then she tells them about me. The powers -to-be noticed that sales of the wax kits have diminished. When they found out what she was doing, she got written up. She said she wasn't worried about it and planned to continue to tell people what a waste of money the kit is and how easy I make waxing. I was so flattered that a client was willing put her neck on the line for me. Not only was she trying to save people money, time and frustration, she was promoting Mark & M.E.

You have 21 days to make sure Santa can find a clear path to put his present.
~The Christmas Cootchy Humor Continues...~

You have 22 days to get that garland off your lap.
~Your Brazilian Conscience~

Check out my latest review on Amazon about The Happy Trail.  Have you ordered yours yet??

Another great book by M.E. I enjoyed the personal insights into her life and family. A fun, descriptive and entertaining book into the world of waxing. A great holiday gift for the women in your life. Enjoy!

You have 23 days to clean the tinsel off your tree. #marknme