Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Not only do we wax hair off at Mark and M.E., we put hair back on too. No, we aren't in the business of making merkins, my naughty friends. We offer natural looking, long lasting, individual eyelash extensions! Let us know if you need an appointment! 585-473-7360

Monday, February 27, 2017

I am scheduled for Jury Duty again next week. Hopefully I don't get called so I don't have to miss work. Last time I got called, the judge wanted to know if any of the jury members knew either of the attorneys or defendants. I had to raise my hand. The judge asked who I knew. I told the judge that the one attorney was a client at my salon. I did not say that she came to me for waxing. He asked if we talked about work. I laughed and said no. During her last visit, we talked about sex the entire time. I was dismissed.

Sunday, February 26, 2017

One of my clients brought her husband in yesterday for a Brazilian. It was his idea. When I pulled the first rip from his lower abdomen, he yelled. I think the sensation startled him. Immediately he asked why I pulled so fast and then begged his wife to hold his hand. He was a big, good looking, muscular guy who shrieked away from my deadly popsicle stick. His wife commented that it was difficult to hold his sweaty hand and then noticed the sweat pouring off the top of his bald head. The wife and I tried to be sympathetic but we couldn't stop laughing. The best part of the service was when he yelled, "did it just go dark in here?"

Saturday, February 25, 2017

I use massage tables for my clients to relax on while I give them their Brazilians. Yesterday, a girl said that she really wanted handles to hold onto. There are no handles on my tables. Since it made it difficult for me to do my job with her hanging onto my arms, she settled for something else to squeeze------her boobs.

Friday, February 24, 2017

I had a new client come in this morning for a Brazilian. She had three children and a few tattoos. She warned me that she didn't deal well with pain. She wasn't kidding me. After a few rips, she yelled "Dear Lord, I should have taken a tranquilizer!"

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Although a Brazilian Bikini Wax refers to the removal of all of the pubic and rectal hair, many women like to leave hair in the front. We usually refer to that hair by its shape, whether it be a rectangle that looks like a landing strip or a triangle that we at Mark and M.E. refer to as a Martini Glass. The other day, I had a woman ask me to leave a large Bermuda Triangle on her. That just sounded dangerous and for some reason wrong.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

A young woman came to Mark and M.E. today for a Brazilian. It wasn't her first time at our salon, but it was her first time with M.E. She wanted to know if I liked my job. I said NO. She looked at me surprised. I continued by saying that I don't like my job,  I LOVE my job. She said she has never met anyone before who loved their job.  Listen, I made thirty women feel better and sexier today. It was a great day. What's not to love about my job?
Sometimes the hoo-ha isn't always the happiest after a wax. It can be reflective of your current health, time of the month, whether or not you worked out that day, if you're dehydrated or even due to the products you put on the area afterwards. One of my clients created a cocktail for when her hoo-ha has bumps or irritation. She uses a mix of hydrocortisone cream and an antibiotic lotion. She said it clears the area quickly and makes it feel better almost immediately.

Monday, February 20, 2017

I have a man in his 60's who travels over an hour one way to get Brazilians by me. The last time he was in, he brought a friend. The friend was convinced that a happy ending must accompany the service for this guy to travel so far to see me. I hadn't heard anyone suggest that in a long time. I may be funny and sometimes a little crude, but when it comes to the service, I'm always a professional. If you're looking for a rub-a-dub-dub, Mark and M.E. is not the place to go.

Sunday, February 19, 2017

I got my first review of 2nd Generation Passion on Amazon!  It's the third book in my erotic series entitled A Promise of Passion
. This reader gave me five stars!

"Oh how I love these books. Such a fast and sexy book to read. Every chapter keeps you engaged. Can't wait for the next book."
To all the men and women who resemble sphinx cats in our fair city due to the hard work of the staff at the Mark and M.E. salon, we wish you all an awesome February break 2017!

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Waxing versus shaving?? This morning a client told me that it looks like she has chicken pox of the crotch when she shaves. That's not sexy.

Friday, February 17, 2017

A Brazilian Wax refers to the type of bikini wax that removes all of the pubic and rectal hair. It has become an extremely popular service worldwide and Mark and M.E. is proud to be the 'Home of the 10 Minute Brazilian.' Many women are afraid to get their backsides waxed, however, due to embarrassment or the notion that it is going to be the most painful part. On the contrary, waxing between the cheeks is the least painful part of the service. Yesterday, I asked a woman to lie on her side so I could do that forbidden area. She hesitated and said she wasn't sure she wanted it done because she didn't want to "give him any ideas." Oh my... the things my clients share with me.

Thursday, February 16, 2017

For all of my last minute Chewbacca friends, there have been several cancellations tomorrow due to the influenza sickness that has plagued our fair city. Let me know if you need our services. Bandit and I will be at Mark and M.E. from 9-6 tomorrow to de-fur you in the fun, loving manner you are all accustomed to at the Home of the 10 Minute Brazilian.
Iceland, Hawaii, Dominican, Mexico, Florida, South Carolina...those are just a few of the places my clients are traveling to this week for February break. Thank you for including me in your preparations for your trips. I'm glad I'm not the only one who believes that a good Brazilian Bikini Wax is a vital part of going on vacation!

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

It is not uncommon for women to squirm a lot during a Brazilian Wax. I had a woman recently who moved around so much that I thought she was going to fall off the far side of the table. Between grabbing me and closing her legs, the wax was extremely difficult for me to do. On top of it all, she had a piercing in her nether regions that I was afraid of removing by accident amidst all her gyrations. I asked her very nicely to try to relax and stop moving so I could finish. She said that is exactly what the guy said when she lost her virginity. He told her to lie back and relax and it wouldn't hurt so much.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

I think one of the main reasons the Mark and M.E. Salon has been so successful is because Mark and I have been together so long. Today we celebrate 30 years since that fateful day we exchanged vows. I knew it would be interesting when I noticed the man I was marrying was wearing hot pink socks during the ceremony. The time has gone way too fast, but we love our family and we love each other and that's what it's all about. We hope everyone finds true love at least once in their lifetime. Happy Valentine's Day!

Monday, February 13, 2017

If you didn't get your parts in pristine condition for the day dedicated to lovers, no worries. Mark and M.E. will be working tomorrow! We are hoping to sneak out early so please let us know as soon as possible if you want to come in. marknmesalon@gmail.com or 585-473-7360
A woman in her late forties told me she deliberately waits a long time between waxes, because she likes to be discretionary about who sees that area on her. It had been awhile since she had been intimate with someone. As she put it, "I don't like to give away my goodies!"

Sunday, February 12, 2017

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, you can only imagine what a fun week I had at Mark and M.E. I have so many stories to share that I'm not even sure where to begin. For example, one woman told me that her husband said her lady parts were "growling" at him. I must confess that her's wasn't the only one growling at me the past few days.

Saturday, February 11, 2017

I ran a marathon through a sea of vaginas yesterday. There was so much laughter throughout the day that I was sad to see the day end. I'm proud to say I made it to the finish line with a huge smile on my face and a rowdy 70's song in my heart. Round two of the Valentine Vagina Regatta begins at 7:30 this morning. I can't wait to see who joins me in the race for that sexy and empowering feeling that only a thorough Brazilian Bikini Wax can give you! Happy Saturday Everyone!

Friday, February 10, 2017

For two years, Mark and I have been entertaining the thought of opening a small wax salon on the East side of town. The other day, Mark went to check out a place for me. He said the space wreaked of dogs. Apparently, the space used to be a dog grooming business. For those of you who are aware of what I do for a living, I specialize in pussy cats, not puppy dogs.

Thursday, February 9, 2017


Yep, my 3rd book is available on Nook for only 4.99.  So excited!
2nd Generation Passion is so naughty!!

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Guess what I'm doing on Saturday????? More than the Queen of the Brazilian Wax!

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

A new client came in and started apologizing profusely. Apparently, she hadn't dated in three years. She told me she had a Rastafarian Cootch that was dread-locking itself. In ten minutes, I gave that Jamaican v-j-jay a new bald look.

Monday, February 6, 2017

The week before Valentine's Day is always a fun one at Mark and M.E. New and repeat clients flock to get their parts in pristine condition for the holiday that celebrates love. The only thing that gives me angst is how many women will request that I leave the shape of a heart on the front of their bikini area. Wish me luck!

Sunday, February 5, 2017

When I wake up in the morning, I try to think about something funny that happened the day before at Mark and M.E. Once I've decided, I write it on my blog, which is called Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha, and then I copy and paste it to my Facebook pages. I have so much fun at work that I feel compelled to share my experiences every day. For example, yesterday I had a new client scream "I've been snatched!" That was funny considering I do Brazilian Bikini Waxing for a living.

Saturday, February 4, 2017

When you own your own business, you have to make sacrifices. But it's okay, because I love my job. Due to staffing issues, I had to cancel my trip to the Florida Keys today. I exchanged one bush for another. 

Friday, February 3, 2017

Yesterday morning, a woman came in who I hadn't seen since August. Needless to say, she was very hairy. It was her 46th birthday and her sister brought her in to get a Brazilian. As I was waxing her, she yelled "There's a squirrel in the house!" I couldn't do anything but laugh because the hair on the strip did look like a pelt. When I threw the strip in the garbage, she yelled again."There's a dead squirrel in the garbage!" She was so loud, I could hear her sister laughing in the hallway. My job is so fun!

Thursday, February 2, 2017

This was an exciting thing to read!
The V in Valentine's Day refers to the V-J-Jay at Mark and M.E. It is a very busy time of the year for us. Since I am the only wax technician currently working at the "Home of the 10 Minute Brazilian" it would be a good idea to plan ahead and make your appointment for that very special day before it's too late!

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Yesterday, my first client walked hesitantly into our waiting room. She was an extremely petite woman in her mid-twenties. She looked so nervous that you'd think she was having major surgery and not a Brazilian Bikini Wax.
"Don't be nervous, you're going to be fine," I assured her.
"I'm really scared."
"It's super easy. I'll take good care of you."
After the first rip, she yelled "That really hurt!"
"It's only going to take 5 minutes. You got this," I said in my cheerleader voice.
After the second rip, she yelled "I'm going to cry!"
"No one cries at Mark and M.E. Look, the whole top is done!" Looking at it didn't help.
After the third rip, she yelled "I'm going to die!"
"Nobody has ever died at Mark and M.E. We are almost done. You're doing great!" She didn't believe me.
After the fourth rip, she yelled "I'm never doing this again." They all say that.
"You'll be back when you seen how much finer and thinner your hair grows in. In one more minute you're going to be so happy. Trust me, you'll love me tomorrow." I say that a lot.
I finished the rest of the front quite quickly since she was so small. When I asked her to roll on her side, she said "Can I skip this part?"
"Nope, nobody leaves Mark and M.E. with a hairy ass."
She reluctantly let me do that part. It was very easy. When she got off the table she said, "That wasn't so bad. When should I come back?"