Sunday, July 31, 2011

Getting a Brazilian should be the woman's idea. Generally, if a woman only does it for a man, she won't keep it up. However, when a man "respectfully requests" that she go bald so he can really enjoy it, it's hard to say no.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

There are disposable wipes in the restroom for a reason. Even though I use a new stick every time down there, gunk in the creases is not OK.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Because I approach waxing with such intensity and enthusiasm, a girl told me she was ready for me to "hulk her hootch."

Thursday, July 28, 2011

A woman walked into the room and told me to be prepared because a cave man was coming to see me. Although she wasn't kidding, I was glad it was a cave woman I was waxing, and not a man.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

When the LPGA came to town, one of the professional golfers from Europe came to see me. I was so flattered when she said that she has been waxed all over the world, and I gave her the best wax she had ever had. She did not fit my stereotype of a golfer, however. Not only was she incredibly physically fit, she wanted to be waxed because her male trainer was so hot.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Never underestimate the power of the pussy.

Monday, July 25, 2011

A girl picked up a dude, took him back to her place, then hid in the bathroom to shave quick cuz she wasn't prepared. Shaving can be dangerous, especially when you are drunk. She ends up cutting herself and it takes awhile to get the bleeding under control. When she came of the bathroom, he was passed out. She texted her friend and said "I cut my labia for this!"

Sunday, July 24, 2011

If a kid in beauty school wants to experiment waxing your puss and she has never taken a class, think again. A cosmetology student wanted to try different techniques on one of my clients. When she came at her with a scissors, she accidentally cut her skin, the girl needed antibiotics, and now she has a scar.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Got your period? No biggie. Shower. Fresh tampon. It's all good. I told that to a woman, but she said she didn't want the two of us to meet. That's OK too.

Friday, July 22, 2011

About 10 years ago, my son made a sign to put on the door of my Facial Room at the Salon that said Relaxtion Suite. Although I only do waxing in that room now, I have never wanted to remove the sign. A woman walked into the room recently and commented that she was entering the Pain Chamber. It ccurred to me that things have really changed over the years.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

I commented to a girl that she had really hairy lips. She said she'd rather have hairy lips down below. Agreed.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

A husband kept putting off renewing his life insurance. So his wife kept putting off getting a wax. She gave him an ultimatum. She wasn't getting waxed until he renewed the policy. Everyone is happy in that household today.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

When a woman has thick, dark hair, it can look pretty creepy when I rip off a large amount at one time. The other day I pulled a huge strip off of a lady and she said, "oh look, I had a mouse living down there."

Monday, July 18, 2011

I have a client that lives fairly far from the salon that comes in every 6 weeks for her braces on her teeth to be adjusted. She said that the timing is perfect. Every 6 weeks she comes to Rochester for her braces and her beave.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

I heard about a salon that puts a dollop of essential oils on your rectal hole before waxing that area. I'm not sure if it's kinky, a little odd or just plain unnecessary. Wax doesn't stick to oil, but hair does grow right up to the promised land. When I asked my client how she felt about having oil put on her rectum, she said that it was really weird and she went home with a hairy ass hole!

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Every time we would rip off a strip, a girl would do a sit up. It was an interesting reaction to the whole waxing process. But isn't it cool that you can get a free work out while you are getting waxed?

Friday, July 15, 2011

A girl told me that she went to another salon in town and the technician took 2 hours to give her a Brazilian. I told her that I didn't realize that the salon even did Brazilians. She said that they obviously didn't by the stupid amount of time it took to do it. I then asked her if she got a happy ending because I cannot fathom what could ever take so long. She told me that she wasn't able to get a happy ending for a very long time.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

I have clean up stations in every wax room to ensure you get all of the stickiness off of your body. If after you leave the salon, you find yourself peeing all over the place, you did a lousy job of cleaning up.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

A very beautiful woman that I wax is with a man that doesn't like to have sex. I wrote an article for the online magazine called The Social Gods that gives men advice on how to get lucky on a more regular basis. I heard that she put the link to the article which is called "Sex & A Successful Relationship" on her fridge. Sounds like a pretty blatant hint for her man.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

As you all know, I have a slightly twisted obsession with pussies. So it shouldn't surprise you that I am interested in penises as well. I'm psyched to say that I have had another article published. Here's the link... I'm so happy to have found another forum to talk about genitalia. Check it out!

Monday, July 11, 2011

The online reviews of Mark & M.E. are awesome & I can't thank everyone enough for their positive comments. A new girl said she came to me because of the 29 reviews on Google. She said she really hoped I made it quick and painless so she could be the 30Th.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

People are often surprised by what I do for a living. I admit it's a bit unusual. But it still blows me away when people don't know what a Brazilian Bikini Wax even is. How is that possible?

Saturday, July 9, 2011

One of my guys called me and asked if I was in the mood to torture a 40 year old man. Silly question.

Friday, July 8, 2011

I got a funny response to my piercing blog yesterday. A 30 year old woman was having an x-ray and her mother was in the room with her. The mom wanted to know if there was a button on her underwear.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

When I was a teen, I had to sneak it when I started shaving because my mom thought I was too young. She figured it out quickly enough by the blood all over the bathroom. Nowadays, kids shave or wax everything. Not only do parents know, some drive them to their appointments to see me. But when one of my girls admitted to showing her mom her genital piercing, even I was surprised. That is one thing I could never show my momma.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Someone went elsewhere and got a Brazilian that took 2 hours. I don't get it. Nobody's puss is that big. Anyways, she said it was like a really bad one night stand with regret and everything.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

An ugly bikini line can be very frustrating and a woman will try anything to help with the rash and bumps that accompany shaving. I have heard of women using rubbing alcohol, cortisone, astringent, oil, powder. Recently, I heard of a new one. One of my clients even tried Proactive on her puss.

Monday, July 4, 2011

A woman needed to get waxed before the 4Th of July. She said she was walking in the parade and needed the road cleared and paved for the festivities in the event she found an Uncle Sam who wanted her.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Went to a crazy bachelorette party last night and there was a male stripper that came to the house. He had an incredible body and put on an awesome show. The best part about this guy was that, aside from the hair on his head and a baby landing strip, he was hairless.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

I finally saw the movie The Bucket List. I never heard of that expression prior to the movie and I didn't realize people had such lists of things they wanted to do before they died. When a woman told me that getting a Brazilian was on her bucket list, I felt honored to be part of such a monumental occasion.

Friday, July 1, 2011

A woman posted on her facebook wall...I'm excited to see Mary Elizabeth in the morning. There is no better way to start your day than with a cup of coffee and searing, ripping, self inflicting pain. Isn't that sweet?