Fortunately I don't knit, because this is the kind of error I would make. 

As a certified Brazilian Wax Technician, I have to say that this is my kind of law.

I love making people laugh (and occasionally cringe) which is why I've been blogging for years. This is my 3443 post on Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha and when someone sends me the following caption regarding one of my posts, I know that I have to keep this thing going.

Snakes, lady-parts....I can't make this stuff up!

I love when my friends share artwork with me. Lady-parts are my life and I am fascinated by all of the interpretations.

My massage therapist cancelled her last appointment with me because she has tendonitis in her thumb. We rescheduled for today. I teased her that one of the main reasons I get massages is due to the tendonitis in my hands. She told me she wasn't able to grip. I have that problem too. I told her that there are times when the hair is so dense and my grip is so weak that I contemplate using my teeth.

A gentleman with an extremely heavy Indian accent came in for a Brazilian Wax because he was "curious." Although his hair waxed easily and his skin looked great, he wasn't very tolerant of the service. And even though we talked throughout the entire service, he was difficult to understand. As we were chatting, I asked him what his plans were for the evening and what he said was very clear to understand. He told me he was going home to "ice his balls."

The joys of online dating!

Notice the message at the bottom of the picture. Yep, another client has been corrupted by her Brazilian Wax Technician.

We've been jamming to 90's music at Wax It All the past 2 days. At one point during the day, a girl came in that I hadn't seen since the beginning of May. She was very hairy. We were chatting and singing to the fun music and I was happy to see her again in spite of her overgrown situation. When I had her leg in the air, I realized it was the perfect time to sing with the song. As soon as the hair was removed, I sang

 "Whoot, there it is!"

When a new client got on the table for a Brazilian Bikini Wax, she told me that I didn't need to do her backside. Apparently she had been going to a different salon in Rochester for quite some time and since they always took 45 minutes just doing the front, she never let them wax between her cheeks. I spent about 10 minutes doing her wax and we laughed the entire time. She was easy to wax and her skin didn't get red or irritated. The perfect client. When I asked her to roll on her side, she did but with hesitation. I told her that once I give a woman a Brazilian, we become friends. And my motto has always been that friends don't let friends leave the salon with a hairy hiney.

Another reason to wax.

Yes, it's official, I tend to corrupt the people around me. My girlfriend sent me this pic and said "I thought this girl was engulfed by a giant vagina!"

My first thought when I looked at this pillow and no I do not take LSD: 

Apparently in New York City, there are a decent amount of cases where patients go to the Emergency Room because cockroaches burrow in their ears while they're sleeping. If this man lived in N.Y and his pillow was NOT groomed properly, then the hair might poke at his ear causing him to have nightmares about cockroaches. What was your first thought?

The look on M.E.'s face when her 4th client came in yesterday who she hadn't seen since APRIL!

My goal is to make you smile every morning when you wake up and read my post. Thank you for following me! Happy Friday!

Although I used to be a teacher before I joined Mark at the salon, this was not a project that I ever did with my students.

Wipe and wax in one quick motion. Interesting...

Even I was shocked to see this energy drink on Amazon.

When the yoga instructor asked us to pull our knees into our chest this morning, I had to try really hard not to laugh. You see, last week I had a new customer (45 year old man) who had never had a Brazilian Wax before. When I ripped the first strip off, he pulled both knees into his chest so quickly that he kneed me in the boob. When I did the 2nd strip, it happened again. That is when I told him that he needed to leaves his legs down on the table or I wouldn't be able to finish. He liked the idea of me not finishing!

It's frightening when women don't know what they put in their vaginas.

So this happened during a wax... A woman's left leg hit the right side of my face!

I came across this broken stick today in my pile of waxing sticks. I'm saving it in case I come across any dingleberries.

Most lady parts get red and pissed off when a razor comes near it and we NEVER want to piss off the puss.

Interesting hair pattern. Caption anyone?

In good conscience, I could never leave someone looking like this after a wax.

Does this pic make you hot? Not only would that hair generate some serious heat, it would make any wax technician sweat to have to remove it!

I have a feeling his hair isn't the only thing that is long and thin.

It's time we  appreciate the mature foods that resemble my vagina themed repertoire. Dried mangos anyone?

Believe it or not, it is uncommon for men to become aroused when they get a Gentleman's Brazilian. Yesterday, however, a client exclaimed  "Oh no, it's growing!" And it was.