Wednesday, August 31, 2011

One of my girls tried getting her husband to come in and watch her get waxed, but he told her it's like a hotdog. You really don't want to know what goes into it, you just want to enjoy it.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

A man wanted to fool around one night. His woman said no way. She told him that there is no baby butter allowed in that area the night before a wax. God, I've trained my girls well.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Wanna look forward to Monday morning instead of dreading it? Wake up 15 minutes earlier and spend that time enjoying your waxed womanhood.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

A woman walked into the room and said, "my husband said Tarzan could swing through this."

Saturday, August 27, 2011

When a new client said "I can't have sex tonight, can I?" I told her that she could as long as her man licked her wounds. That is when she said, "Why do you think I'm here?!"

Today marks my 500Th consecutive blog. Thanks for following.

Friday, August 26, 2011

The hurricane in the Atlantic is very scary, especially since no one has any control over it. A hurricane on your hoo-ha, however, can be controlled. So if you have a hurricane brewing between your legs, take control of your storm.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Less hair, less friction. Simple.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

When I get an email from a girl who says she needs to get in because her beave needs to breathe, I am happy to say I have to the tools to give her the air she needs.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

When you have a baby, your private area gets extremely sore. So the hospital gives you Dermoplast Spray which you spray on your lady parts and it soothes and numbs the area.
Life is hectic. And sometimes we just don't pay attention to what we are doing. A woman was sore after a wax and thought a little of the numbing spray would make it feel better. Shame it was Solarcaine.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Women have interesting analogies when describing the whole process of the Brazilian Wax. Someone told me she wanted me to Rooter her Cooter and everything in between. So I did.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

It's a rainy Sunday. What a perfect day to enjoy your "slip n slide."

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Pretty panties aren't that pretty with prickly pubes or a plush pasture peeking out of them.

Friday, August 19, 2011

A girl told her boyfriend she was going to see her "Pussy Pal." I guess, in a very strange way, I am a very good friend to the pussy.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

If you can endure just a few minutes of pain, there is the potential for you to enjoy endless hours of pleasure.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Women have all sorts of cute ways of telling their men they are coming to see me. One of my clients told her boyfriend she was off to see Jack the Ripper. It only took a second for a huge smile to form on his face.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The scenario with the man from yesterday continues. As I got closer to the shaft of his penis, he really started losing his composure. That is when he growled at me in that same demonic voice and said, "did you rip my cock off?" That is when I flicked his flaccid penis with my finger like I was flicking a fly off the skin and said, "nope, it's still there."

Monday, August 15, 2011

A man dared his wife's friend to get a Brazilian. He told her if she did it, so would he. He didn't tolerate the wax very well. He was sweating, yelling and squirming all over the place. At one point during the service, he lifted his head up and in the most demonic voice said to me, "!?!"

Sunday, August 14, 2011

At some point, I am going to make a career change. With your help, I hope to change from being a ripper to being a writer.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

I know it must be weird to go into a new salon and just take your pants off in front of a stranger and hop on a table completely exposed so you can get some pain inflicted upon you. In fact, I can see how this whole scenario involves a lot of trust. Well, you can trust me when I say you are not the hairiest, scariest or smelliest person I have ever worked on. And you can also trust that I will not judge you. I just want to make you bald as efficiently as possible and hopefully keep you distracted enough so that coming back to see me won't be so nerve wracking next time.

Friday, August 12, 2011

A woman told me that her husband was considering getting a "manzilian." I told her that he shouldn't bother. Most men can't take it and they rarely do it twice. Sorry fellas, it's the truth.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

It doesn't take a Rocket Scientist to figure out that it is more fun when there is nothing in your way.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Some people think we should just go with the natural look the way God intended. A client told me that God wouldn't have let us figure out how to make wax if he wanted us hairy.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

I asked a girl if she was going out since it was a Friday night. She said she was staying home to nurse her vagina.

Monday, August 8, 2011

I have become very popular with the runners in Rochester. Why, you may ask? Because shaving causes irritation. Leaving it hairy causes irritation. Basically what I have learned is that you can run faster when you don't have blisters on our beave.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

This is perfect since it's Sunday. A woman came in and said, "Mary Elizabeth, I have a Catholic Confession to make. It has been 2 months since my last Brazilian."

Saturday, August 6, 2011

A Brazilian refers to the removal of all of the pubic and rectal hair. And I have a strict policy that no one leaves Mark & M.E. with ass hair. My goal is to wax every square inch, every time. I know that can be a scary thought, but that part of the body really doesn't hurt to get waxed. I couldn't help but laugh, however, when a girl told me her shit hole was scared.

Friday, August 5, 2011

When a grown woman "fluffs" through the entire wax and apologizes for "fluffing" and says she is embarrassed that she keeps "fluffing" and says she can't stop "fluffing," I have to admit that I wasn't grossed out or even shocked. I just couldn't stop laughing.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Gotta love the expression on a man's face when he discovers that his woman has gotten her first Brazilian. Better than Christmas.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

There are so many fun and wonderful names for the female anatomy that sometimes I just can't decide which one I like the best. I had a husband come with his wife to one of her waxing appointments. The next time, when she came by herself, she said that her husband was interested in what I called her lady parts that day. You never know.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

A woman told me she was going to have to buy a good lawnmower because her lawn was so overgrown. She continued by saying that she decided to come see me instead because she needed a good landscaper.

Monday, August 1, 2011

A client told me she liked getting waxed, because it's better to lick the kitty when the kitty is clean.