Thursday, May 31, 2012

A girl texted her man when she got to our salon to tell him she was getting a Brazilian Wax because her vagina was a mess. He told her that her vagina was fine and he liked how her hair tickled his balls.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

I wax a lot of runners. Brazilians make their work outs much more comfortable. One runner didn't have any hair on her backside even though the rest of her was really hairy. She told me that running chafes off her ass hair. She must run really hard.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

A woman told her friend with benefits that she was going to Rio. She asked him if he wanted to meet her down there later that night. ~Brazilians, the perfect vacation accessory~

Monday, May 28, 2012

I can think of something very yummy your man can munch on this Memorial Day, and it ain't Zwiegle's. ~love that Brazilian!~

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Don't have dry sex. It's bad for the puss and aggravates it when you get waxed. ~your Brazilian Dr. Ruth~

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Someone called and asked if we waxed plus size women. My girl thought she said west side and was embarrassed because she didn't know what a west side woman was. For the record, I'll do a Brazilian on anyone.

Friday, May 25, 2012

A client told me that one of the benefits of getting a Brazilian is that she no longer cuts her finger nails with the razor when she is trying to navigate Down Under.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

I have learned a lot from some of my clients that participate in the open relationship lifestyle. For example, if a woman has a man taking her from behind and has another man receiving her mouth from the front, it can be referred to as a spit roaster. Now, having a barbecue has a whole new meaning. ~learning about life one Brazilian at a time~

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

My married girl of 20 years from yesterday was going to a party for swingers. I wax a lot of swingers, so no, it didn't shock me. In fact, I'm totally psyched that women are showing off my work in public.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

I asked a married woman what she was doing one night. She asked me if I got shocked easily. I wax vagina's and talk about sex for a living. Hmm, what do you think?
~your shock proof Brazilian Technician~

Monday, May 21, 2012

A woman had bronchitis and couldn't stop coughing during her Brazilian. I told her I'd try to get her off as quickly as possible. I meant off the table.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

When I started waxing in the 90's, I would wax women completely bald but not know what to call it. We didn't have a name for it. Now a Brazilian Bikini Wax is a household term. That makes me happy.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

We are a family salon, and it is important to us that our clients feel like part of our large & wonderfully diverse clan. So when a mom and her 2 daughters get Brazilians together and all hang out in the room naked from the waist down after I finish, I was reassured that they felt like they were home.

Friday, May 18, 2012

A college girl told me I didn't look big or strong enough to do Brazilians for a living. Looks can be deceiving girlfriend.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

If keeping your sunglasses on helps, go for it.
~your Brazilian sunshine companion~

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Don't touch it, don't sit up and don't try to help.
Thank you.
~your Brazilian drill sergeant~

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

A woman told me she needed anesthesia. Give me a break.
~your Brazilian Surgeon~

Monday, May 14, 2012

You really think I don't know you are swearing even if it isn't in English?
~your multi-cultural Brazilian Wax Tech~

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Whether or not you are a mom, if you have a vagina, you were born with the possibility of having a child. Therefore, even if you haven't succumb to a Brazilian Wax, today is the perfect day to celebrate that incredible organ between your legs.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Tell him you want his mouth for mother's day, even if you aren't a mother.
~your Brazilian Dear Abby~

Friday, May 11, 2012

Women can be very demonstrative during their Brazilian Wax. When they move around a lot, it can get messy. Women love to thrash their arms and legs around while I am trying to work on their lady parts. Recently, a girl looked at her friend getting the wax and said "how the hell did you get wax on your ankle?"

Thursday, May 10, 2012

"OOH my underwear feels so different!" The kind of thing I hear at work.
~another benefit of a Brazilian Wax~

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Rectal bleaching is more popular than you think. I had a client who used her facial bleach product on her anus. Nothing happened.
~your Brazilian Informant~

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

When you hear about rectal bleaching, it refers to the skin, not the hair.
~you Brazilian educator~

Monday, May 7, 2012

Some women like to wait a long time between Brazilians. A girl told her man she had an appointment with me. He told her he was happy she was going to skin the cat.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Three girls brought their friend in for her first Brazilian. They came in the room and stood around the head of the table, encouraging her and holding her down. She was squirming so aggressively that her head started falling off the end of the table. I had to grab her feet and pull her back to the center of the table. I couldn't keep her leg up to wax her lips properly because she was pushing it against me too hard. Happy to say, I was able to make her bald, amidst the yelling and fighting. A client waiting in the hallway could hear the commotion and suggested I charge a little extra to pay for the massage that I could definitely use after a difficult wax.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Someone called me the best in the Universe. C'mon now, the Universe?
~spreading the joy of Brazilians around the galaxy~

Friday, May 4, 2012

During my career, I've had a handful of women fall off the table as a result of their over dramatic behavior during their Brazilian. Normally, every drama queen has fallen off the table on the far side of me. Yesterday I had another 1st happen at Mark & M.E. A girl fell towards me. This actually worked out better, because I was able to catch her before she landed on the floor.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

In order to get to your parts, I need to separate them. It doesn't freak me out, so take a deep breath and let me do my thing. It's really no big deal.
~your Brazilian junk spreader~

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

One of my client's told her best friend she needed to go to Mark & M.E. to get a Brazilian because she was long overdue. The best friend offered to give my client's boyfriend his Safari Hat for his journey through the jungle.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Someone told me there is a Chinese Proverb that says if you love your job, you won't work another day in your life. I guess I haven't worked since the 90's. ~your unemployed Brazilian Wax Tech~