Friday, August 31, 2012

How many people can say that what they do for a living enhances people's sex lives?

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Yesterday I told you about a lady who thought she got Herpes from a toilet seat, but it was clearly an ingrown hair. Well, I had a new client ask me to examine a suspicious mole on her labia. I am flattered that people value my opinion and I love to help in any way I can, but I feel compelled to remind everyone that although I do have a Master's Degree from college, I never went to Medical School. ~your honoree Brazilian MD~

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

A woman saw a bump on her lady parts and freaked out, because she didn't know what it was. She proceeded to shave the area to get a better look at the bump. She was convinced that she got Herpes from a toilet seat. A visit to the doctor confirmed what her Brazilian Wax Technician could have told her; it was an ingrown hair.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

I associate Labor Day with Vagina's. Although this may sound peculiar even for me, there is a very good reason: I had a baby on Labor Day Weekend two years in a row. So, in honor of this perfectly entitled holiday, go get yourself a Brazilian and celebrate your Vagina.

Monday, August 27, 2012

On our website, we have a helpful wax hint page that was designed to make your experience a little better and teach people about Brazilian etiquette. A girl lifted her leg and her man's baby butter oozed out of her like a faucet. I don't think she read the page.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

A girl yelled WTF during her wax. I had to assure her that saying the actual word during a Brazilian was very common.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

I was really hurt by a negative review on Yelp that I saw yesterday. I am saddened that someone found my ten pound, hypo-allergenic dog that doesn't bark or jump on people offensive. I also have dog allergies and wouldn't have Bandit in the salon if he could aggravate people's allergies. If I ever comment on your flexibility, please accept it as the biggest compliment. Many women have limited flexibility and it is nearly impossible to find their lady parts so I truly appreciate someone who can stretch. Sometimes bruising does occur, but it can happen for a variety of reasons unrelated to my technique. If I caused it, then I am very sorry. And, finally, there are times when the hair is too short to all come out. Maybe you haven't waited long enough, the last place who waxed you didn't get the hairs from the roots, or the friction from intercourse broke some of your hairs. I won't apologize for not spending an hour tweezing you. I may seem easy going and even cavalier about doing your Brazilian, but that it to make you as comfortable as possible, because I know it can be an uncomfortable experience. I have worked very hard to be the best in this industry and I have so many dedicated clients that I needed to share this with you.

Friday, August 24, 2012

My friend who brings Jose Cuervo to her Brazilian appointment didn't have enough in the bottle for us to do a decent shot before her wax. She tried to back out. Fortunately, I learned a lot from my dad, who was a really good insurance salesman, and was able to sell her the whole policy.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

It appears that the demand for rectal bleaching has increased. I had two more people ask if I could do it for them or if I knew where they could get it done. It wouldn't be wise for me to put bleach on an area that was freshly waxed. My primary concern when I go between a woman's legs is removing all of the pubic and rectal hair, regardless of the color. ~not your Brazilian Bleacher~

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Vagina's are like snowflakes. No two are identical. ~your observant Brazilian Wax Tech~

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

I don't wait. ~your efficient Brazilian Wax Tech~

Monday, August 20, 2012

Just Do It. Not just for Nike. ~Feel the power of a Brazilian~

Sunday, August 19, 2012

I asked a girl how things were going with her man. She told me she just bought a new toy she liked better then him. I told her she needed a new man. ~Brazilians make playing with your toys better too~

Saturday, August 18, 2012

My air conditioned crotch girl acted surprised that a trucker honked at her. I doubt he was offended that she hadn't gotten her Brazilian yet.

Friday, August 17, 2012

I have a woman who drives close to an hour to get Brazilians from me. Although she always showers right before she gets in the car to drive to Rochester, she is paranoid that her lady parts won't be fresh and clean for me. So she figured out a way to not get sweaty on the drive. She wears a skirt with no undies, cranks the air conditioning, and puts her left leg on the console to allow maximum air flow to her crotch.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

I had another woman ask me for a modesty towel. We don't use modesty towels at Mark & ME. For starters, they get in the way. Secondly, they generate tons more wash. Most importantly, I need to see your vagina. There is no need to feel awkward. It's just a vagina. I have one too. No big deal. ~celebrate your Brazilian with no modesty!~

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

A lady took a hiatus from me. She said she sported the natural look. I think people have different perceptions of what is natural. ~your Brazilian naturalist~

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

For those who like to read, Bared to You is the new Fifty Shades. Most notable difference....the main character gets a Brazilian.

Monday, August 13, 2012

In case you haven't seen my son getting waxed on U Tube, it's called 2 Dudes Get A Brazilian. It may seem strange to some people that a mom would wax her son's genitalia, but that's not how I look at it. It's just a body part, like the vagina, that shouldn't be hairy and it is my job to remedy the situation. But I had to laugh when one of my followers commented that waxing my son was truly hands-on parenting. I guess, in a way, it is.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Not only do I blog daily, I tweet. My name is SassySnatch. I like to share clever thoughts about this whole vagina thing. My first tweet describes it best: I tweet about twats. So I had to laugh when a new follower commented that I don't have a twitter account, but a twatter account. ~babbling about brazilians~

Saturday, August 11, 2012

A girl that normally shaves on a daily basis decided to grow her hair out and try a Brazilian since her boyfriend lives out of town. She didn't tell him she was getting waxed. When she got to his place and they started fooling around, he wanted to know why her lady parts felt different, because he couldn't believe how smooth it was.

Friday, August 10, 2012

When the girl from yesterday brought her friend in the room, she exclaimed "this is your vaginal debut!" ~Brazilians on Broadway~

Thursday, August 9, 2012

A client bought her friend in for a Brazilian. The new girl was very shy about taking her pants off. Her friend told her to drop 'em like a prostitute. It worked.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

When you come in for your first Brazilian, I often refer to you as a virgin. When a 28 year old bride to be came in and told me she was a virgin, she meant a real virgin in every sense. Strange to think that I was the first person to go between her legs.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

What grown woman calls it her sex? ~a confused Brazilian tech~

Monday, August 6, 2012

The girl from yesterday was nervous about knocking me across the room. I was nervous about her piercing flying across the room. ~brazilian anxiety~

Sunday, August 5, 2012

A bigger girl, who happened to be 7 months pregnant, came in for a Brazilian the other day with a couple friends. I always laugh a lot when she comes in, because she laughs like a hyena and thrashes around like she is having a seizure. During the service, her one leg was falling off the far side of the table and her other leg was up in the air being supported by my back. As I was preparing to rip, she yelled at me to be careful because I was a skinny bitch and she was afraid her leg was going to reflex against my back and throw me across the room.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Some men like to make their women suffer. It's a Christian Grey kind of thing. One particular man won't let his woman get a Brazilian. She told me her hair is so long she can curl it around her finger. That makes me cringe.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Group waxing is so much more interesting. Like when a girl asks her friend if her vagina is nervous. ~mark & m.e. home of the 10 minute brazilian~

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Unless you kick me or fall off the table, please don't apologize. I am used to squirming and swearing. I know it can be uncomfortable. And if you want to make yourself feel better, just watch my son and his friend get waxed on U-Tube. If you haven't seen it yet, it's called 2 Dudes Get a Brazilian. You'll understand why apologizing isn't necessary.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

I am popular when it comes to vacation time. A woman needs a Brazilians before she goes on any kind of trip. One woman told me all she cared about on vacation was food and fucking. Glad I could help with the preparations.