I think Hallmark should set aside a day to honor the hoo-ha.

Someone came to the salon for a wax and told me right off the bat that she was surprised by what I look like. Although my photo is on the website and on this blog, it is possible that she hadn't seen either one. For those of you who don't know what I look like, I am a white woman of unknown descent, average size, pleasant looking I guess, 45 years old, with a big smile and varying hair colors. Hope that takes some of the mystery out of it.

Not only do women have pet names for their puss, they have pet names for getting waxed. One of my girls began referring to her appointments with me as getting her snatch waxed, which is a pretty common expression. Well, that expression evolved. Now when she makes an appointment with me, she and her husband refer to it as "getting her snacks."

It is very common for a woman's body to change after having a baby. There can be stretch marks or changes in the size and shape of the breasts. But the baby thing can also change the labia. It is kind of strange when the lips aren't as taut and youthful as they once were. In fact, one of my client's loves to piss and moan about her newly transformed mud flaps.

One of my regular clients told me that if she ever farts on me, it'll be the last time I ever see her.

My parents were really hard workers. They didn't believe in idle hands. My dad would do bookwork when he watched TV and my mom would cook or do laundry. Being productive was very important to them. So when a Romanian woman told me I gave her the best, most productive wax she has ever gotten, it made me smile. I waxed her legs, arms and Brazilian in 28 minutes and got it all. Yea, it felt productive.

Someone compared Mark & M.E. to the movie Steel Magnolias, because we are such a fun, family kind of salon that gets its energy from everybody's stories. We take that as a compliment. Thank you.

Embrace new experiences.

One of my clients went to a bachelorette party and gave the girls a lap dance lesson. During the lesson, the topic so near and dear to my heart came up. As it turns out, many of the girls at this party get waxed by me. I just wanted to thank everyone who brings my name up in conversation when discussing their beautifully bald beaves!

Love new clients. Woman came in yesterday because she heard I was the fastest waxer in the whole world.

The twat is tough
but also delicate
If you treat it right
it'll come in triplicate

The name of our salon, Mark & M.E. refers to me and my husband Mark. He does hair, I do hair removal. When you come in for a Brazilian, expect to get the whole sha-bang waxed. What that means is that I am going to wax your ass. My name is on the sign. I make the rules. You're not leaving with a bushy backside, so get over it.

I had a woman tell me that she thought getting waxed was very refreshing. I guess if you put the hand sanitizer on instead of the oil on your puss to clean up, you'd get that cool, peppermint patty kind of sensation. As long as you are good enough to eat, all is good.

There's a title in the book that I am trying to get published called "Bald At Any Age." The reality is this. You know you're getting old when your pubes start turning grey. And, believe me, when you find the first one, it's fucking traumatizing.

Just another reason to wax it all.

Started driving on a road trip this week and passed the town of Hornel. A new client drove from there to get her hoo-ha waxed by me for the first time. I couldn't believe how far it was from Rochester. That got me thinking about the 2 girls from Waterloo and the woman from Weedsport who also came in last week. Just wanted to say an extra thank you to everyone who travels that far to see me. It is very flattering and I promise I will continue to treat your pussies with the love and attention that they truly deserve.

Not a huge fan of the v jay jay, but when a girl has baby freckles on the inside of her lips, I gotta admit, they were kind of cute.

Owning a salon near a university is so much fun except that when the students graduate, many of them leave Rochester. It has been very common, however, for clients to drop by for a wax when they come to town. Face it, who else is able to rip them in 5 minutes?
This week one of my former clients came by with quite an overgrown bush. She told me her man wanted her to try the "natural look." Believe me, there was nothing natural about it.

A woman told me she went somewhere else for her first Brazilian and it took the technician 60 minutes to wax her and cost $95. I asked her if they gave her a happy ending because there is no excuse for it taking so long. She laughed and said there was nothing happy about the experience. When I commented that I didn't know which was more obscene, the hour or the money. She said the hour.

It is unbelievable how much hair a woman can grow around her rectum. Since it's tough to shave, it is often an area that has gone untouched for years, even decades. A new client came in and asked me to remove her cobwebs from her ass. And you know what? That's exactly what her ass hair looked like.

I had a dream last night that I was walking through a fine dining restaurant when I overheard an older man say "It's hard to be flippy when you're floppy." When he heard me laugh, I told him I thought he was funny and needed to blog what he said.

Wouldn't it be cool to clone your clean cootch?

A young couple come into the salon and tell me they have been dating since they were eleven. He asks permission to come into the room because it's her 1st time and she's really nervous. When we enter the room, he sits down. As soon as she gets on the table, she orders him to stand up and hold her hand. As I start waxing her, he lovingly rubs her head. After a few minutes, she gives him a threatening look and advises him that he's messing her hair. He says he's sorry but explains that he was just trying to comfort her. She says, "I don't care what you're trying to do. You're messing my hair!"

Getting a Brazilian does not make you a sexual deviant. However, if it makes you feel more deviant and you want to act upon those feelings...go for it!

It may sound barbaric this whole waxing thing, but it must be worth it if so many women are getting it done on a regular basis. One of my girls was so excited after she got her first wax that she pulled down her pants in the middle of her kitchen so she could show off "her girl" to her best friend who just happened to be a gay guy.

Hard to have fun on a slip-n-slide when it's dry and prickly.

When a husband tells his wife that he needs a weed whacker to get through her forest, then you know it is time for her to come see me. But when he continues the conversation by asking her if she needs him to call a landscaper, he needs to be slapped.

A woman was worried that I was going to wax her hemorrhoids. Trust me, darling, I don't want anything to do with those bad boys.

I admit that the wax scene in "40 Year Old Virgin" was absolutely hysterical. In fact, Mark & I were consuming a pitcher of Cosmos while watching it which made it even twice as funny. During my career as a wax technician, I have had clients act just as crazy on the table and there have been times when I wished that the clients were being filmed. I just wanted everyone to know that we are pretty tired of the Kelly Clarkson expression, however. That is just so old school.

Now we scream Adam Lambert.

I believe in the power of the pussy!

Some men scurry from things that are furry.

A married mother of three came in this week to get ripped. She had some pretty long hair and was in dire need of my services. She was excited to tell me something her husband had said to her. He told her that he was glad she was getting waxed because she was so beautiful down there that she could be a porn star. That's my kind of admiration.