There are so many references to an overgrown pussy looking like a jungle or the Amazon, but when a woman said her hairy puss looked like Vietnam, that was a first.

Remember the incredible sexual energy you had as a teen? I think December should be the month where we all rediscover that insatiable lust that used to live in our loins. Can't think of a better way to combat the stress of the holidays.

One final thought of gratitude on this Thanksgiving weekend. Be thankful if you don't have any creepy critters carousing in your cooter.

You should also be thankful if you can find your parts.

Be thankful if your parts still work.

One of the things I am thankful for this Thanksgiving Day is for all the cooters that I get to coif every week. I love my job and all the ladies that fill my days.

People make appointments for different reasons. Some people just make a standing 4-6 week appointment, because it is easier for both of us when you are on a regular schedule. Others will come in for a special occasion or a date. A woman told me she was mocking out her boyfriend because he had grey hair in his goatee. Yesterday morning she noticed grey in her own goatee. She called for an appointment.

Don't you want to be finger licking good?

Going green has absolutely nothing to do with leaving your lady in its natural state.

A woman accused me of giving her a pimple because she was so anxious about getting a wax. And it wasn't her first time. I'm used to people telling me how radiant their skin is from all the extra sex they are having not how pimply I make them from their anxiety about the service.

If you have always had some hair on your hoo-ha, the sensation of being bald can be very strange. It can be extremely funny the way women describe this new found freedom that I have given them. One woman told me she felt very exposed and cold after I made her bald. In fact, she said that she wanted to go out and buy a hat and scarf to protect her girl and keep her warm.

Someone who has never met me asked one of my regular clients how a woman with a nun's name (you know...mary elizabeth) could do this for a living. She told her she didn't know. All she knew was that I was perfect for the job.

I told you I am doing God's work.

Sometimes it is the smallest comments that make my day and give me ideas for a blog. Yesterday a woman came in for a wax. It was only her second time. When I asked her how her man responded to it she said, "He couldn't keep his nose out of it. I mean, literally, he couldn't keep his nose out of it."

Let's talk about gray pubic hair for a minute. Nothing makes you feel older than seeing the color gray between your legs. We have two ways to combat this problem at Mark & M.E. First, my husband would be happy to mix you up some hair color, put it in a Dixie cup and send it home with you. Or, secondly, you can have me rip those fuckers from the root and throw them out!

You'd think after all these years of waxing thousands of pusses that I'd be bored with it and would need to find something else in this business to amuse me. But I'm not. I think it is like the whole snowflake thing; no two are exactly alike.

Next week is Thanksgiving. Give him something to be truly thankful for by trimming your turkey the Mark & M.E. way. Bald.

When someone tells a wax technician they have new hardware, it means a whole different thing.

Please stop apologizing. I'm the one hurting you.

A newlywed told me her husband wanted her to keep a triangle in the front when she got her Brazilian. We call this a Brazini at Mark & M.E. It never matters to me whether or not I leave hair in the front, so I gave her a cute little triangle that I know he'll adore. She said she was happy doing whatever he requested since he was the king of her jungle.

During a wax, a woman mentions that she just went through a divorce. When asked how things were going, she said it was "less painful than this."

Check your bush. I'm back tomorrow.

Last week, the contestants on the Biggest Loser trained with the Marines. One of the players was moaning for God's help. (sound familiar?) The marine told her that God wasn't going to help her. Their exchange made me laugh.

I think I should have been a Marine.

One of my clients was getting a pedicure at a discount salon that offered Brazilians, so she decided to get one while she was there. The room was sketchy and the sheets on the bed were filthy. The woman took a long time, didn't get all of the hair, and the next day her skin was rashy and irritated. Hair was left randomly all over the bikini area and our favorite parts weren't even remotely addressed. My client referred to her experience as a "back alley abortion Brazilian."

When you're a kid, you dream about doing all sorts of things when you grow up. When I was young, I had only been exposed to chain hair cutting places like Super Cuts. In the 70's, it was called Cut & Curl. I didn't know anything about salons or spas and I certainly had never heard of waxing. If it hadn't been for marrying a hairdresser, I doubt I would have ever discovered this profession. So this morning I was thinking about what kind of person would dream to do what I do for a living? You'd think a fairly angry and sadistic person since I inflict pain on women with abrupt movements with a big smile on my face. But, the truth is that I don't have an angry, mean or sadistic bone in my body. That led me to the realization that women will do whatever is necessary to achieve a particular goal such as pushing an eight pound baby through her cervix with no meds. When a woman waxes, her goal may be to eliminate razor bumps or improve her sex life. My profession allows me to be the facilitator that helps a woman achieve that goal. So, in a way, I'm like Mother Theresa.

I was talking to one of my relatives from out of town last night. He knows about my book and heard I had started a blog, but he had never read it. He thought the blog title was something like "cool down your hoo-ha." When I told him the real title, he started to laugh. He said he was much more interested in "heating up a hoo-ha" instead of cooling it down which is why he never looked at it. Gotta love family.

People have all sorts of phobias, snakes, spiders, germs. I can't say that I am really that afraid of anything that would label me phobic. I do find some things pretty offensive, like pubic hair for instance, but that has motivated my passion for my profession. There was a woman who told me she was sending her girlfriend in to see me. This friend can't stand hair and shaves everything. She calls her friend a hair-a-phobe. OK, so maybe I do fall into that category.

Skinny jeans have been a source of amusement at the salon lately. Not only do women look ridiculous trying to get their ankles out of the ends, I even had a girl fall over because she got tangled up and couldn't get her leg out. In many cases, it takes longer for a woman to undress who is wearing skinny jeans then it takes for me to wax her. Maybe sweat pants would be more appropriate on wax days. Anyways, I think your puss would appreciate some airspace after you see me. Putting your bald bush in bondage after a Brazilian...probably not the smartest move.

Dare to be bald.

This is my 200Th blog entry. I can't believe that this over taxed brain of mine could come up with that many amusing things to say. I have to give the credit to my clients, who continually provide me with the stories that make us laugh, cringe and want to puke.

So on this momentous occasion, I urge my regulars to continue with their antidotes and ridiculous behaviors that make every day special and the new folks to bring us fresh new energy to share with the world.

There are 2 signs in front of the salon. One says "Home of the 10 Minute Brazilian." The other says "10 Minute Brazilian." Both banners have a picture of a sexy pair of crossed legs on them. A husband made the comment that we would get a lot more business if the legs were open.