When the girl from yesterday told her man that she would never cheat on me again, I have to admit that I was pleased. Shaving is evil and I am determined to spread the word on the best way to achieve a beautifully groomed beave. But I would be remiss if I didn't tell you my response to her after she swore such loyalty to me. I told her to tell her man that her pussy was mine. He could play with it, but everything else that happened down there was my business.

A regular client of mine confessed that her man wanted to shave her. She told me she was really nervous when he was down there with a razor so she kept her eyes closed. It didn't go well so he didn't shave her completely bald. The parts he did shave got irritated and she regretted letting him near her with the razor. This is when she told her man that she would never cheat on him and she would never cheat on Mary Elizabeth again either.

I waxed a college girl's eyebrows who was going on a first date with a really hot guy. As she was leaving, I told her that if she came back for a Brazilian, I knew the date went well. She told me that she purposely did not get a Brazilian because she wanted to behave on the first date. We understand.

The more I think about this whole vagazzling thing, the more apprehensive I feel about putting glue anywhere near my girl.

The Urban Dictionary's definition of vagazzling is the act of bedazzling your vagina or blinging your beaver. A sparkly snatch? I like it.

I have worked diligently to perfect the art of story telling to keep my clients distracted while I wax their cootch. I like to ask questions and while the client is answering, I will rip off a good one. As I was waxing a new client, she was surprised how efficient and funny I was. She quickly figured out my strategy of ripping while she was talking. It really is a system that has worked well for me over the years. About half way through the service (about 3 minutes into the wax) she referred to my style as a "sneak attack Brazilian."

I understand that it can be difficult to justify a monthly wax when you are on a budget. One of our clients needed a haircut desperately and really wanted a Brazilian so she asked her husband if it was at all possible for her to have both done on the same day. He told her he would start having only two meals a day so they could afford both.

Women who carry wipes in their purses are my heroes.

A psychologist would have a ball examining the behavior of women when they are put in an awkward and potentially painful situation such as getting a Brazilian wax. I wonder what it means when a girl asks us to hang on a second while she sits up and has a conversation and subsequently a pep-talk with her cootch before we finish the service.

When a guy comes into the room with his lady for her wax, sits back, and cracks open a beer, you gotta wonder.

The puss is fascinating and magical. It's mere existence should be celebrated and cherished. This is why I need your help getting my manuscript published. It's current working title is "The Happy Hoo-Ha." And isn't that what is really important, keeping the hoo-ha happy? In order to get my work recognized, I need to prove I have a large following of dedicated pussy lovers who want to be reminded of its power on a daily basis through this blog and want to read an in depth novel that is guaranteed to make you laugh, cry and even cringe a little. Science has proven that a good belly laugh every day will make you live longer, and I promise to provide you with enough stories to help you live a long, healthy life. So on this cold, frigid day, spend some extra time worshipping the beautiful entity that makes life possible and help me succeed in my quest to make the puss even more powerful by becoming a follower of this blog and telling everyone you know to do the same.

Fur coats are old school.

One of the benefits of what I do for a living is hearing all of the fun sex stories. They can range from funny to gross to thought provoking... Yesterday I heard an interesting one. A girl was engaging in relations in the missionary position. In the midst of her enjoying the experience, she was making the normal, accompanying sounds that one makes when he or she is in the moment. This is when the guy told her to stop making sexual sounds.

There is a reason for the disposable wipes in the bathroom.

There is no reason to be embarrassed and it's less than 10 minutes of discomfort. So why haven't you tried it? Have you read yesterday's blog? Enough said.

Some women hesitate about coming in on a monthly basis because they anticipate the pain and make the decision to put it off as long as possible. The more regular you get it done, however, the less it hurts. And the longer you grow your hair, the more painful it can be. A woman came in on Friday who hadn't had it done in several months. She had a lot of hair. Last night I got a text message from her saying that she had the GREATEST sex that night. ME happy.

When a wickedly jumpy new girl tells me I better hold down her leg because she was going to kick me in the head, I knew I was in trouble.

I have also been hit on, but the girl wanted my husband there too.

A girl told us that her last wax technician hit on her. No worries. I'm not interested in the puss in that way.

A sixty year old woman made a circle with her thumb and fore finger and whispered to me, "do you wax ass wholes?" Her visual demonstration with her fingers was priceless and it definitely reinforced the area she was referring to. I started to laugh and told her that I wax ass wholes all day long. She didn't realize that a Brazilian was that thorough and that I spend my days investigating the most private areas of my clients. She needs rectal surgery and would like me to wax that area for her. As you all know, I'm the queen of asses.

One of my regular clients went somewhere else for an eye brow wax. It took the girl close to a half hour and she didn't have a clue what she was doing. My client said as she was sitting there, all she could think of was that she would have rather been getting a Brazilian than letting this girl do her brows.

About a year ago, a woman brought her little boy in the room while I waxed her. During the service, he started freaking out because he didn't like the sound of the ripping. It was difficult to finish her because he couldn't stand the noise and was visibly upset. He still talks about it.

A little boy was waiting in the reception area with his mom and he noticed a lot of women going in and out of the rooms. He asked her if "this place was just for girls."

Someone told me they couldn't believe people worried so much about getting their bum waxed because it's the easiest part. I love old school terminology.

All of the waxing takes place on the 2nd and 3rd floors of our salon. That way, no one can hear any screaming. Yesterday a client came bouncing down the stairs looking very happy after I waxed her. She said that she felt so good after the wax that she just wanted to run around naked.

A girl is hanging out with her boyfriend in a bikini. He sees a string hanging from her bikini bottom. He pulls the string. It's a tampon.

If a woman tells me she is fuzzy wuzzy down there, I'm pretty confident she's a mom.

When you wax a man in his private area, it is very common for his voice to change for just a moment. I'm not sure why it happens, but it can be very funny. For the record, there have been times when I have made a woman's voice change as well.

If you haven't mustered the courage to try a wax, now is the time. Start the New Year with a New Look.

I know of a man who plows driveways in the winter. He said that he finds it very satisfying to see a freshly plowed driveway. He read several entries from my blog and commented that I must get the same kind of satisfaction when I wax someone as he does when he plows a driveway.

I think everyone should celebrate this New Year with the things they are thankful for, including their pretty pusses.