Obviously I am the biggest fan of the bald puss, but I totally understand how women can feel dirty and less sexy when the hair is growing back. We need to get over it. You have to let some hair grow back in order to get a good wax. And, let's be honest, guys don't really care as long as they are getting some.

For years women have been telling me that they sweat like a horse while I am waxing them. Do horses really sweat?

I have a chapter in my manuscript called "The Vagina, a.k.a." which talks about all the pet names women have for their parts. And although I have a pretty decent list written in the book, I continually hear new names. Yesterday a woman came in for her first ever Brazilian and she was adamant that I leave her "treasure trail." So I did.

First timers give me the best blogs. I guess the anxiety of the anticipated pain and embarrassment leads people to say the craziest things. As I am about to ask a client to roll on her side, she sits up and says "my poor thing!" And, of course, in my charming, sympathetic way, I responded, "your poor thing is just fine. Now roll on your side and shove your rectum in my face."

A woman can get confused when she is in pain and the blood is rushing to her private area. So when an Asian girl tells me "no me gusta," I feel kind of bad.

I love when people who have moved out of town come back to visit me. A woman who now lives in Virginia told me she couldn't wait to hear me say "give me your ass."

Was it easy for the Easter Bunny to find his treats this morning or did he have to rummage through the grass?

I don't mind waxing the crack in your ass, but when there is crap smeared on your ass, I am not a happy girl.

I love hearing stories from my clients about their past wax experiences. A girl told me her first experience was so uncomfortable, it took her a long time to get the nerve to do it again. The service lasted about an hour and the woman wouldn't talk to her. My client told me she wanted to say to the girl "what the hell are you thinking?" She just wanted the technician to stop staring so intently at her v-j-jay and say something. I could feel the awkwardness as she was describing the scenario. My advice to beauty professionals is the following. If you aren't comfortable spreading a girl's lips and doing your thing, stick to cutting hair, not ripping hair.

A client told me that it wasn't very ladylike to lie on her side while I waxed the crack of her ass. I told her that it wasn't ladylike to have a hairy ass.

When a woman walks into the room and says "get ready for Woodstock," I'm instantly wishing I had something to light up to prepare myself.

I am very passionate in my desire to avoid contact with your man's baby butter. It is obvious that some guys have really bad aim. So no matter how well you shoot, wait until the day after the wax to play Russian Roulette.

I waxed over 100 women last week. It was crazy fun. But then I found out that if I was working in Upper Manhattan, I would be able to charge 300 per Brazilan. That is insane! I have to move.

This week was "let's hang onto to M.E.'s arm while she rips me" week. Just a little dribble of advice; it works better when I can use both arms.

Welcome to the start of my 2ND year of Hosing Down Your Hoo-ha. I have a scattered brain so you never know what you'll get from me. Sometimes my goal will be to make you laugh, because, face it, I have a funny job. There are times that it will be necessary to gross you out. When I come across an undesirable pussy, there is no way I am going to suffer alone. And every once in awhile I hope to shock you just a little bit. Because, in case you haven't noticed, women can be down right nasty.

Today mark's the 1 year anniversary of Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha. I never thought that I would find 365 consecutive things to say about pussies. And, not only have I had a blast recounting my experiences to you over the past year, I have so much more to share. My goal with this blog was to find representation so I can get my book called "The Happy Hoo-Ha" published. And I still have faith in my followers that someone will be able to help me out with this endeavor. The book is funny and racy and, since it is obvious that each and every one of you are fans of the puss, then please help me out. I won't disappoint you. Until then, I will try to keep you amused with all the crazy shit that people do and say when they are naked from the waist down and are having hot waxed spread on their snatch.

No one leaves Mark & M.E. with a hairy ass. So if you think you are getting off my table without rolling on your side and letting me stick a Popsicle stick between your butt cheeks, you are sorely mistaken.

A girl told her boyfriend she was going to see one of only three people that get to see her v-j-jay. I'm honored and he was psyched.

It is always interesting to see what happens when I meet new people and tell them what I do for a living. When I tell someone that my husband and I own a salon, the person will always assume I cut hair. When I tell people that I do Brazilians for a living, it tends to cause some brow raising. A man recently was intrigued that I give women what he referred to as the "Kojak" all day long. I thought the analogy was perfect, provided you are old enough to remember who Telly Savalas was.

There are a few reasons we have decided not to wax men in their private area at Mark & M.E. One of the main reasons is that we have had one too many guys call the salon and even come into the salon who were just plain creepy. But when a man sent me an email looking for a "Brozilian" I almost had to say yes because I thought that term was clever.

A woman referred to me as Jack the Ripper. I thought it sounded ominous. I kind of liked it.

When a woman comes in at the end of the day with a bottle of Cuervo and 2 hunks of lime, it would be impolite if I didn't participate in her pre-wax celebration. Actually, she was using Jose as liquid courage. She hadn't been waxed in a long time. It helped.

It is an inefficient use of time for me to leave the room while you undress considering I am about to put my hands all up in your junk.

It is incredible how your body changes when you are pregnant. Sexually, you feel like a 16 year old boy who can just not get enough. Things happen in your sleep without any effort at all. I think it's God's way of distracting our men from realizing how fat and miserable we can be. So when a pregnant woman told me it felt good when I spread the wax on her junk, I understood. Although that was not the first time someone told me it felt good when I was doing my thing down there, I definitely make all the good feelings disappear with one good rip.

I know the hoo-ha can generate some heat when I wax it, but if you want someone to blow on it during the service, you'll have to bring in a friend to blow on you. I'm not doing it.

I have a girl that normally squirms and screams during a wax. OK, maybe I have more than one girl. Anyways, the Brazilian service is always an adventure with her. When she came in the last time, she told me she had a glass of wine before she came in. Although I don't encourage alcohol consumption prior to a wax, she seemed much calmer than usual. As she was getting on the table, her phone rang. I told her to take the call. I have had plenty of women conduct phone business while I rip them. She talked to a friend on the phone during the entire service and was very composed while I did my thing. She decided that, from now on, wine and phone were the two key prerequisites to enduring the wax.

Although I have become known for my Brazilian prowess, I also do excellent eyebrows. I actually have been waxing brows a lot longer than the beave. Now that I am in my mid 40's, however, it is necessary that I wear reading glasses in order to perfectly sculpt your brows. Recently one of my clients asked me if she should worry that I come at her crotch with my scary needle nose tweezers in order to remove her stubborn ingrowns without my glasses on since I do put them on in order to wax her brows? I don't seem to have a problem removing the ingrown hairs and, frankly, I really don't want to be able to see your crotch that clearly.

Spring is officially here. The time for hibernating your hoo-ha is over.

I can always tell if you have shaved in between waxes. It's obvious by how coarse the hair comes in and how aggravated the skin gets. The problem is that the whole waxing service hurts a lot more when you shave in between. A girl was complaining that it really hurt yesterday. I told her she shouldn't have shaved. She said her hair had been growing in so fine and soft like baby bird hair that she didn't think it would matter if she shaved just a few times. But it obviously did matter by the way she was squirming around. I told her that the razor turned her fine and soft baby bird hair into big bird hair.

It is unbelievable all of the cheerleaders that I do at Mark & M.E. Well, not official NBA or NFL cheerleaders, but women who cheer when I tell them to roll on their sides so I can wax their ass.