Check out this email I got yesterday. I just was thinking that childbirth really prepared me for my Brazilians. I'm never quiet but I didn't make a peep with the pain of push my boy out...sometimes I believe childbirth and Brazilians are the same...I would never go through that much pain unless I got something really good out of it.

The former nail client who thought Mark used to look like Antonio Banderas, wanted to know if I waxed any other black women. I assured her that at least a third of my clientele was black, that I wax women of every ethnicity, and I could care less what color you are. Then I told her since black chicks get such bad hair bumps, they need me more then anyone. Besides, black women tend to be much more vocal then white women and that makes my job way more fun!

I think we should always embrace our childhood innocence, and getting Brazilians are a good way to feel young.

Listen to me tell a story about a guy who passed out at our salon. http://youtu.be/m2_L_JGoKS0

Someone asked me if two twits make a twat? ~Modern Brazilian Allegory?~

Check out a reading of my book that I put on U Tube. http://youtu.be/L88aegiBfqA

When a woman called to make an appointment for a Brazilian, she asked if she'd be able to go to work after? I assured her that she could. Remember, this is a beauty salon service, not a medical procedure.

If he can't find the goods, he may just go to another store. ~Brazilian Dating Advice~

Ok gang, I need your help. I am looking to make a U-Tube Video to help promote the book. If you have read my book and thought anything was funny in it, please go to www.thehappyhoo-ha.com and send me a message that tells me which story you thought was the funniest. Once I get enough responses, I will tell a story and see what happens. Thanks!

25 years ago, I was a very busy nail technician. The other day, a former nail client came in for a Brazilian. She hadn't been in the salon in years. She walks in the waiting room and looks at Mark and says, "you look so different. You used to have a lot of dark hair and you looked like Antonio Banderas." Then she saw me and said, "and M.E. was blonde!" She is so lucky she didn't say that I looked like Melanie Griffith or I would have made her wax extremely unpleasant.

I love when women send me messages after they get a Brazilian. A woman said she couldn't believe how her first trip to Brazil was so quick & easy (and so fun!) and how well I tamed her wookie. It was my pleasure. ~the wookie wacker~

Last week I told you about a woman who had 2 eggs implanted and was expecting 3 girls. Yesterday, a client of mine, who drives in from Syracuse to get her Brazilians, also had 2 eggs implanted and is expecting one baby. She told me that when she read my blog, she called her husband and said "are you ready to thank God?"

Half of my ladies leave a little something in front when they get a Brazilian. A lady asked me for an exclamation point without the point. I told her that her clit was the point.

A girl told me to be careful, because her vagina was sensitive. She said it didn't get any sun or any action. ~Brazilian Confessions~

The latest shape request was a Playboy Bunny. Now you're pushing it. ~your limited Brazilian Artist~

I had a 38 week pregnant woman jump off the table mid-Brazilian to have a full blown contraction that lasted close to a minute. It was her second one in four minutes. I was excited to help deliver a baby at Mark & ME. Unfortunately, no babies were born at the salon yesterday, but I did finish her wax!

If your Brazilian isn't staying smooth and you're finding you have broken hairs across the front, think about the frequency of your vibrator use. Friction tends to break soft hairs.

Today is April 15th. Tax day. I'd rather give myself one of those unconscionable 45 minute Brazilians then pay my taxes.

Pilonidal cysts occur when a hair becomes ingrown. They usually form near your backside and require surgery to remove. One of my clients was in the operating room during this procedure and the surgeon told her to "make sure to teach your patients about Brazilians. I do 5-6 of these surgeries a week. A good ass waxing would prevent this." Priceless.

A woman had 2 eggs implanted and is expecting 3 girls. Baby A is sitting on her cervix. Baby C has her leg nestled between her breast bone. I'm not sure where baby B is hanging out. She is 30 weeks and each baby is already 3 pounds. As you can imagine, she has a pretty big belly. But never too big for ME! I am proud to say I accomplished another first yesterday and successfully gave an expecting mother of triplets a full Brazilian.

I asked a new client how she heard of me. She laughed and said Build-A-Bear. She asked another mom where she got waxed during a five year old party and the woman told her all about me and how the whole Brazilian thing worked at Mark & ME. Bears are hairy creatures, so I can totally understand why she thought of waxing at a place like that.

What is the key to a happy marriage? A happy hoo-ha.

After her first Brazilian, a girl said it was like a new toy and she wanted to show everyone.

A woman had to take her cat to the vet to have his genitalia shaved, because the hair had gotten so long, the cat was unable to clean itself. She told me it was the first time her cat had a Brazilian.

I just saw a riddle that asked what the difference was between men and insects? The answer: men have zippers. I have to admit that I am ok with my man bugging me. It's a sign he wants me. And since it is impossible for a woman with a Brazilian to get bugs down there, then I say we leave the insect repellent in the cupboard and enjoy our pesky critters.

After reading The Happy Hoo-Ha, a girl told me she put a breath mint in her mouth and then was tempted to put one between her legs.

In 1999, there was a really silly movie made called Superstar. The main character (Molly Shannon) thinks she can be a Superstar but couldn't be any more awkward. When I watching it yesterday, all I could think of is how a woman feels so amazing after she gets a Brazilian that it would be perfectly acceptable and appropriate to get down on one knee, raise your arms to the heavens and scream "Superstar!"

One of my clients had to create an Amazon account in order to buy The Happy Hoo-Ha. I liked that too.

A client refers to her Brazilian appointment as ME time. I love that.

A lady told me I was giving her a Hoo-Ha Headache. ~Brazilians aren't that bad!~

A lady has been getting waxed at a place in town that takes 45 minutes. A girlfriend told her she should go to Mark & ME, because we are the Home of the 10 Minute Brazilian and it actually doesn't even take that long. Then the girlfriend started to tell her how funny I was, what a nice salon we have.... and the lady interrupted her and said "you had me at 10 minutes!"

One of my girls was all excited because she has this week off and she planned to spend a lot of private time with her man. Unfortunately, that won't happen. You see, her man was working in the yard, got poison ivy on his hands, had to pee, and I think you can figure out the rest. ~The Brazilian will have to wait~