In ancient times, it was a sign of purity for the aristocracy to remove all of their pubic hair. I don't know about you, but removing all of mine makes me have very impure thoughts. ~Ancient Brazilians~

If you're mean, one day karma will probably bite you in the ass. And if you're mean, I bet you have a hairy ass. ~waxing wisdom~

I think it would be tough to do Brazilians in South Carolina, because the locals seem to have such poor diets. Everything is fried, has cream or cheese sauces, and there is bacon on everything. I have never seen so many different fried chicken joints in my life. The flip side of the equation is that I have never met so many genuinely friendly people in my life either. Maybe fried chicken is the secret to a happy life.

I was watching an elderly couple have breakfast at a Waffle House in South Carolina. The man was soaking his bread in his glass of water before eating it. That had to have made it easier to eat since he had no teeth. I couldn't help but think that the no teeth thing could be kind of fun for her. ~Southern Brazilian Humor~

A girl didn't know where to put her hands during her Brazilian. She tried holding her low stomach but got wax on her hands, so she decided it was best to hold her boobs.

Twiddly dee Twiddly dum You got a Brazilian Now you'll get some

After I finished popping one of the Brazilian Cherries, she got dressed, sat down to wait for her cousin, and yelled, "my pussy has a heartbeat!"

I popped 4 Brazilians Cherries yesterday. There was some yelling and lots of sweating, but, no worries, I used protection. I kept my black glove on the whole time.

I wanted to give a shout out to the client that noticed our online yellow page site was totally messed up. Days, hours, services,forms of payment, description....basically everything was wrong. It's a miracle you have found us! But I did check the reviews, and they were outstanding. My second shout out of the morning is to everyone who wrote such awesome things about us. Feeling very loved this morning. Thank you!! ~your Brazilian Servant~

If a woman has a hoo-ha, does that mean a man has a hoo-hang? ~Brazilian curiosity~

When I encounter unpleasant lady parts, I just try to find some humor in it. ~my Brazilian coping mechanism~

When I was in beauty school, I tried to get out of taking the wax class, because the idea of waxing any body part on someone scared the shit out of me. Oh, how things have changed.

By the time I roll you on your side, we have cemented our friendship. No worries, I have enough room in my heart for as many BFF's as I can find. ~your Brazilian Friend Forever~

My license plate says wax it all. Someone thought it said wax tail. That works too.

A girl told me that she hated wearing a weave in the summer because they are so hot. I told her that is why she needed to keep up with the weave down below. ~Brazilian Advice~

Celebrate your Happy Hoo-Ha with a quick rip and a laugh.

A man was so nervous and sweaty during his first Brazilian that he rolled onto his side and right off the table.

groupon

You buy a Groupon for a Brazilian. She burns your skin so badly that you can't exercise or play with it for several days and need to use Neosporin on it just to be comfortable enough to walk around. Once the burn subsides, you realize she broke your hair and now it's stubbly. That's what I call a deal.

A dollar

A man came into the room with his wife for her wax. While her leg was in the air, he put a dollar on her stomach and told me it was all I can eat under a dollar.

confidence

Brazilians give you a sense of confidence that is hard to explain.

scratch n sniff part 2

I think he'd prefer to sniff what is beneath your panties. ~Brazilian Wisdom~

scratch n sniff

During a bikini wax, I commented on how cute a girl's kiwi panties were. She said they were scratch and sniff that lost their sniff.

Vajungle

When a girl tells me she has a vajungle down there, I am tempted to put on my camouflage. ~working in the Brazilian Jungle~

dating

I asked a girl how the dating scene was going. She said, don't you mean the f'ing scene? Brazilians are appropriate for all kinds of relationships.

selectively deviant

I'm reading a book where a couple talk about being selectively deviant. I was thinking that it has to be more fun to be selectively deviant when you've had a Brazilian.

another book?

I am actively working on my next book, and I didn't want to do another chapter on hygiene. If people don't stop presenting nasty situations in my face, however, I may not have a choice. ~your frustrated Brazilian author~

machete time

A woman walks in the room and tells me that before she takes her pants off, I should go get my machete. ~Brazilian Combat~

Happy 4th!

On the 4th of July We celebrate we're free So enjoy the Brazilian You got at Mark & ME

surgery vs waxing

A client told me she would rather get a boob job then a Brazilian. I think both are good.

Love to rhyme!

Rain rain go away. I got a Brazilian and want to play.

Create your own fireworks without the dangerous sparks. Get a Brazilian.