A girl actually scissored me with her legs during her Brazilian. Another first.

Many moons ago, I had a baby on Labor Day. The following year, I had another baby on Labor Day again. It is funny, because I did not know what Brazilians were back then and I did not have one. Now I cringe at the thought of being hairy on this momentous holiday.

No one has ever thrown up on me during a Brazilian, and, honestly, I have never worried about that happening either. Yesterday, there was a close call.

A man was curious when he learned his girl made an appointment to get a Brazilian. He wanted to know if I was going to touch her where she pees. I never really thought of it that way, but I guess I do.

Getting cheated on is bad. Getting cheated on while you're pregnant is worse. But getting cheated on with a prostitute while you're pregnant deserves dismemberment. ~Brazilian Vigilante~

Women scream some interesting expressions when they get Brazilians. "Fuck Balls" is one of my favorites to date.

Seeking twitter fans to help me meet Howard Stern. I think he'd love Sassysnatch & The Happy Hoo-Ha. If I can get more friends to hashtag Howard on my behalf, maybe I'll get a chance. Let me know your message. And remember, life is good when your Hoo-Ha is Happy.

A young woman took off her pants and I noticed that her black pubic hair actually looked gray. Upon closer inspection, I realized that it was completely covered with baby powder. ~another Brazilian no-no~

One of my clients got a Groupon for a Brazilian at another salon. The girl didn't wear gloves and refused to do the inside of the lips and the butt. And, oh yea, she took a really long time. Happy to have the client back at Mark & M.E.

If I skip the sac, men are actually much easier then women to wax.

I almost sprayed someone's parts with Febreeze yesterday. ~bewildered brazilian tech~

Research has determined that, in today's society, being bald is more visually appealing. I agree. ~go Brazilians!~

I hope everyone has a Happy Hoo-Ha kind of day.

It's the middle of the day and a girl comes in for a Brazilian and says "don't mind me, but I've haven't showered yet today." Really?

A man told me that he got Brazilians, because it was better when he wiped his ass. Agreed.

Rip Rip Fizz Fizz Ah what a relief it is. ~Brazilian Satisfaction~

A woman made faces at me, tried protecting her privates but got wax on her hands, growled at me, then told me she hated me. It wasn't her first Brazilian with me either. Another example of a love-hate relationship.

A girl kept grabbing her lower stomach while I was trying to do her Brazilian. I asked her to move her hands. She said she didn't want to, because it was comforting to hold onto her fat.

Sometimes blood will seep through the pores during a Brazilian. Don't let that deter you from getting it done. There is never that much blood that a vampire would ever take notice.

The average Brazilian takes me less then 10 minutes, so there is no reason to pop a zombie pill. The process is really no big deal. It's the afterward that is the amazing big deal.

Fuck is the number one swear word said in the waxing room. When a girl screamed "Holy Fuck" the other day, I told her that I love when fucking becomes holy.

As many of you know, we have a small dog named Bandit that often comes to the salon. There are times that you may have even seen Mark grooming him. Yesterday, a girl said she was going to ask if we did pet grooming when she called for the appointment. Since Mark does such a good job with Bandit, I thought she really wanted her pet groomed. Nope, she meant the pet between her legs.

The same cop said he'd rather be in a fist fight every day of the week and twice on Sunday's then get the middle of his back waxed. ~waxing men are so funny!~

I was waxing a cop's back when he said he'd rather be tasered then have his neck waxed.

I don't understand why people cop an attitude when they come in for a Brazilian. Don't they know how much power I have with that hot wax, Popsicle stick and their privates? A girl found us online and read the reviews and checked out our website. She walks into the salon and asks me, in a fairly rude manner, if I have any experience. I smiled and said that not only have I been waxing for 20 years, I also wrote a book about it. So, yea, I have a little experience.

Who needs shark week to live dangerously? Get a Brazilian!

It hurted. It hurted, said the new client. Yep, sometimes proper English goes out the window when you get a Brazilian.

Men try to be so strong when they get Brazilians, but you know they are dying when they grit their teeth and beg me to be done down there.

Apple peaches pumpkin pie. I got a Brazilian and now I can fly!

I had to drag two new clients in from the parking lot. They were so nervous about getting their Brazilians, they were just standing next to their car not making any effort to walk towards the entrance.

A girl stopped waxing because her man was being lazy and wasn't grooming his junk. One day, he sent her a picture of his bad penis. She called me right away.