Yesterday, a friend pointed out that I was more than a Vagina Whisperer since I also wax men. So I decided that I would be fine being referred to as The Wee-Wee Whisperer as well. Then I became worried that my male clients may be offended by this particular reference to their manhood. When a man gets a Brazilian, however, his manhood tends to go into hiding, so it is actually a fairly accurate description. So please, do not take offense.  It truly is a term of endearment.

Someone called me The Vagina Whisperer yesterday.  I love that.

Sometimes, my clients have to take a break from getting Brazilians, because they simply cannot afford it.  I really appreciate when clients who have been coming to me for years let me know why they have stopped waxing. Some switch to laser. Some go back to a natural look. Many move out of town. One of my clients was kind enough to send me a message and tell me that she had to give up her smooth landing for the summer in order to pay for her son's swim lessons.

I should never refer to pubic hair as a rabid animal since it has given me so much joy in my life.
~Brazilian Apology~

When you wax on a regular basis, you will notice that your hair comes in finer and thinner.  Many of my clients have strange bald spots in their bikini area where the hair has stopped growing in all together.  Sometimes the bald patches look really funny and it's hard not to laugh at their strange patterns.  I had a girl this week refer to her splotchy hair line as a rabid animal. It was a fitting analogy.

It happened again.  Yesterday a man got a Brazilian at another salon and they didn't do the entire thing, so he came to Mark & ME so we could finish the job.  The technician must not have known that the definition of a Brazilian is the entire pubic and rectal area, so all we needed to remove was that unneccessary hair between his cheeks.  We are proud to say that we've got men's backs (and backsides) as well as women's.

Yesterday a woman went to another salon for a Brazilian. They only scheduled her for a bikini and wouldn't do the whole thing because they hadn't booked enough time, which doesn't make sense to me but we'll go with it.  She left the other salon with a large, uneven triangle and a lot of unnecessary hair.  She then drove directly to Mark & ME with the hope of getting the rest of the wax done.  You know I couldn't let a sister down.

A college girl got her first Brazilian with me and it went well and she loved it. Since she couldn't really afford to do it again, she bought a Groupon for a half leg and Brazilian at another salon. The service took two hours. She said she thought she was going to lose her mind because it hurt so bad and took so long. After the appointment, she had to drive to her parents house which was about four hours away. She said she could barely sit because she was so sore. Needless to say, she waited until she had enough money to come see me again.

I think I'm going to start taking pictures of the bruises and scratches on my right arm and demand some kind of combat pay from my partner in crime at Mark & M.E. 

Yep, I made a man squeal during his Brazilian.

Our youngest had his graduation party last night, so now all of our kids will be out of the house.  People keep asking me how we are going to deal with the empty nest time in our life.  Don't most people know that I spend my life buried in nests?

Three couples came in yesterday for side-by-side Brazilians.  I think this is a wonderful new trend!

A client reminded me that I have had a longer relationship with her v-j-jay then most of her boyfriends. 

~The Everlasting Brazilian Bond~

People can still hear you when you scream into a towel.
~Brazilian Truths~

When the girl kicked me in the head, my glasses didn't actually fall to the ground.  She knocked them off my right ear which left them dangling from my left ear. And, now that I think about it, it must have looked pretty ridiculous.

~another scene from the Brazilian Battleground~

Another first in my Brazilian world.  When I asked a woman to lift her left leg, she was flailing around so much that she kicked off my glasses. Not only were my glasses expensive, it hurt to have them kicked off my face.

It's funny how awkward people behave when you tell them you do Brazilians for a living.  Half of the world population has a vagina, so what is the big deal?

Brazilians make people happy which means I make people happy.  It's the best job in the world.

"I don't think anything should be put that far in there!" yelled the new wax client. Oh yes it should.

If you're the kind of person who usually needs to grab onto something when you're getting a service done,  please bring a friend. A death grip on my right arm not only makes the whole service more complicated, it makes Raul want to smack you. And if you don't know who Raul is, then you need to read The Happy Hen House.

"Lift it like you mean it so it's easier to clean it!" One of my favorite phrases when I am waxing a person between their cheeks.

Hey ladies, if you are going through the change, you must get a Brazilian. It sucks waking up in the middle of the night sweating and it's even worse when your sweating and hairy.

One night I got a message from a client who said her husband lost a bet, so now he had to come in and get a Brazilian. When they came in for the appointment, they told me that they were very drunk when they sent the message to me. So I asked them what the bet was. Neither of them could remember.

In The Happy Hoo-Ha, I told a story about the time when a man climbed on my waxing table, two of the legs shattered as he sat down, and the table collapsed. Please don't worry about that ever happening again at Mark and ME.  We buy industrial strength tables now.

If you haven't ordered your copy of The Happy Hen House yet, did you know there are illustrations in it?

On this Sunday morning, I'm feeling thankful. I'm thankful for the clients who take the time to write awesome reviews online. I also appreciate the positive emails you send us about your experiences at Mark and ME.  We love the feedback and appreciate you taking the time to write things down. I'm thankful for all of the clients who tell their friends about us, because referrals are great for business and, more importantly, we love meeting your friends. And lastly, I'm thankful for every hairy hoo-ha that I have had the pleasure of making a Happy Hoo-Ha. Happy Sunday everyone!

I love when dermatologists back me up and tell people that they are no longer able to shave because it is unhealthy for their skin and their only choice is to trim or wax.

I hope there are fireworks in all of my ladies lady parts today and that everyone has a
 Happy Hen House.

A woman told me that her pubic hair was so long that she could have used a straight edge to groom it.  I gave her my version of a Brazilian Buzz Cut instead.

If you are sporting a retro 70's look, please remember that hair is combustible, so you don't want to set off fireworks naked.

~Brazilian Words of Wisdom~

The Fourth of July Fur-Removal frenzy has begun. Holidays are better when everyone has a
Happy Hoo-Ha.