Woke up at 4 feeling bright eyed and bushy tailed and looked over to find Mark reading a book. I started to laugh. I told him I was off to the beach to write, and it didn't surprise him in the least. I hope everyone finds someone in their life who loves them unconditionally and doesn't think they are a weirdo for getting up two hours before the sunrise to rush to the beach to write.

2015 reflections. My initial thought was that it was an incredibly stressful year for us for many reasons. But I never like to dwell on negative crap, so I kept thinking... Our oldest got a job in Denver after he graduated college. He has always wanted to live there. Our daughter graduated college and spent a month in Australia, which had always been a dream for her. Our youngest is in college down south near a beach. Need I say more?  We had a successful year at Mark & ME. I published
 The Happy Trail, my third book. Everyone is healthy. I'm still happily married. Yea, it was a good year.

Our lives are so hectic this time of year that it's easy to get caught up in the chaos. One of the things that grounds me is listening to the surf, which is part of the reason I escape to the Keys every Christmas. It's a constant, calming sound that puts everything into perspective. Don't get me wrong, I love the fun and the craziness of everyday life, especially at Mark & M.E., but don't be surprised if one day you walk into the salon and hear the sounds of the ocean singing through our stereo speakers.

I'm sitting on a deck, overlooking the ocean, watching a pelican dive bomb for fish, listening to the sound of the surf, and doing payroll. This is why I work so hard. #happy #marknme

We found out Christmas Eve that the weather made it impossible to fly through Atlanta Christmas morning. It took an hour to talk to an agent who simply informed me the airlines couldn't get us to Florida until Sunday. We weren't willing to lose two days of vacation because of some silly tornado, so we found a different route on a different airline to get us to a different destination in the Sunshine State. We also had to change our son's itinerary since he had the same problem and lives out West. Was it frustrating? Yes. It most certainly was. But we turned it into an adventure and made it safe and sound on the same day as planned so many months ago. You can let the stressors and inconveniences of the holiday consume you or you can work with them, figure it out and end up with a happy ending. I will preach until I pass what my father's favorite saying was...Don't Worry, Be Happy!

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

12 drooling daddy's
11 pussies primping
10 lips a lushing
9 labia dancing
8 mouths a munching
7 snatches smiling
6 guys a licking
5 gold clit rings
4 cheerful beaves
3 frisky hoo-ha's 
2 twinkly dildos
and his package standing tall like a tree.

After what I witnessed yesterday at the salon, I wonder if anyone remembers why we celebrate Christmas anymore? As a Catholic, we celebrate the birth of Christ. It's a pretty big deal in our religion. Yet, in today's world, it seems like it is only about how many presents you can buy, how much money you can spend, how many cookies you can bake and basically how stressed out you can be. If you don't believe in the whole Jesus thing, I get it. But shouldn't this be a time about family and love, not about extending your budget and having a nervous breakdown? Slow down, enjoy your family and try to figure out something good and happy that this time of year means to you. And, of course, make time to have a happy hoo-ha.

 During this holiday season, there is a lot to remember. Sadly, as we age, the hair on our head is not the only hair that turns gray on our body. One of my most memorable holiday traditions is watching the cartoon Christmas shows on television. There are many adorable Christmas characters that have been created over the years. You have to admit that the abominable snowman isn't the cutest one to choose from, even though he definitely has some redeeming qualities. In my opinion, a sleek reindeer with a bright nose is much cuter. That got me thinking...have you seen your favorite wax technician this holiday season yet?

Santa Claus is coming to town. Do you want him to see your big bush and sigh a big frown?
(there are 3 business days left to make Santa happy...)

Only 3 more business days to get your parts primped properly for the upcoming holiday. Please email us to reserve a time at marknmesalon@gmail.com.

A happy holiday and a hairy hoo-ha are not synonymous phrases.

I told one of my male clients that his wife needed to come see me. He said that she was growing her winter bush again and that he needed his protective eye gear before venturing to her nether regions. Don't make your man hunt for an endangered species. Make his quest an easy one. I promise you will both be rewarded.

Tis the season of ugly sweaters. I had a woman ask me to get rid of her ugly sweater, and it wasn't a garment attached to her torso!
~Holiday Hair Humor~

I have an idea for what to give your man for Christmas. On Christmas morning, enter the bedroom wearing high heals and a big, bushy merkin.  At first, he'll be mortified thinking you grew your bush out. And then... voila! Remove that bad boy in your sexiest way and show him your perfectly shiny hard wood floor!

Today, I answered the phone by saying, "Mark & ME. This is M.E." The client asked if ME had an opening in 10 minutes. I said "Absolutely, who is this?" She said, "Yu."

Check out my 2nd comedic debut on YouTube. Just type in Sassysnatch and let me know what you think!

I'm really proud of The Happy Hoo-Ha Trilogy, especially this one. The poems and illustrations are hilarious.  So guess what I did?

Your man asked for a sphinx cat for Christmas.

It's hard to have a happy holiday with a hairy hoo-ha, so come see the lady who can guarantee to make your hoo-ha happy. Yea, that's m.e.!

I don't want to find any ornaments hanging off your tree. Keep it clean this holiday season.
~Your Brazilian Bush Inspector~

Join Sassysnatch this Saturday at 10PM at the Firehouse Saloon 814 Clinton Ave. She'll be joining The Sirens & Stilettos Cabaret: A Holiday Burlesque Sensation. Don't forget to bring canned goods!

Kitties can easily choke on tinsel. You should always protect your kitty!

If Rudolph had hair covering his nose, you wouldn't see when that little bulb got red and swollen. You wouldn't know if he was happy and found his big surprise. That could refer to other things as well. Happy Sunday!

 A client of mine works in a large retail store that sells a wide variety of merchandise. There is a beauty section that sells makeup and other personal items. One of the things they sell is the at home wax kit that doesn't work very well. Ever since she got put in this part of the store, she talks people out of buying the kit and then she tells them about me. The powers -to-be noticed that sales of the wax kits have diminished. When they found out what she was doing, she got written up. She said she wasn't worried about it and planned to continue to tell people what a waste of money the kit is and how easy I make waxing. I was so flattered that a client was willing put her neck on the line for me. Not only was she trying to save people money, time and frustration, she was promoting Mark & M.E.

You have 21 days to make sure Santa can find a clear path to put his present.
~The Christmas Cootchy Humor Continues...~

You have 22 days to get that garland off your lap.
~Your Brazilian Conscience~

Check out my latest review on Amazon about The Happy Trail.  Have you ordered yours yet??

Another great book by M.E. I enjoyed the personal insights into her life and family. A fun, descriptive and entertaining book into the world of waxing. A great holiday gift for the women in your life. Enjoy!

You have 23 days to clean the tinsel off your tree. #marknme

I wrote a poem called Spread 'Em in The Happy Trail. Here's a passage from it that reflects one of the reasons I am a big fan of Brazilians. Things can hide

Deep down inside

That can affect your health

And act all stealth

Another thing I was thankful for this past week was all of the former clients that stopped by for a wax who have relocated to other states. I saw women from all over the East Coast. Thank you for continuing to support me and my love for the perfectly primped puss.

The term "Black Friday" sounds negative and ugly. Mark & ME is having a "Yellow Friday." We are making people feel pretty on this illustrious day. We are creating new hairstyles, prettying up nails and piggies, brightening up faces and making lots people thinner by removing their unwanted hair. Come see us. We're open until 6.

One of the things I am thankful for today is all of the men and women who have supported me as a wax technician, an author and as a confidant. I hope you all have a very blessed day.

Check out my 2nd review on Amazon about The Happy Trail. 

She's out done herself once again! M.E. has the right attitude for the business she's in. The poetry in this book is hilarious and will make you cringe all at the same time. Her stories never fail to amaze me and the best part is they are all true! Great gift for the holidays!!

I hope the stuffing you put between your turkey legs is the best ever!
~More Brazilian Thanksgiving humor~

Sweet potato pie makes incredible body paint on a smooth, hair-free body.
~Another brilliant Brazilian Thanksgiving suggestion~

Brazilian Thanksgiving humor week. No one likes hair on their bird. Clean your turkey properly  before the big day. You'll be surprised how much more your loved one will eat!

My clients have the best sense of humor. I got a message from a woman who wanted an appointment next week, because her man was coming to town for the holiday. She said, "I gotta make sure the Thanksgiving spread is clear for the feast." Priceless Brazilian humor.

Yesterday I posted a funny picture on my personal Facebook page of a woman with long pubic hair that went half-way down her leg.  It was a spoof, but it looked pretty gross. The purpose of the picture was to explain how pubic hair transplantation has become an actual surgery in South Korea. It costs about 2,000 and has become very popular. It's strange to me since I have spent my entire life providing the exact opposite service.

A girl that has been coming to me for awhile said she feels awkward when she rolls on her side and lifts her cheek. I guess I've been doing this too long, because it doesn't seem awkward to me in the least. I focus on getting rid of your hair. I don't care what body part the hair is on.

Anybody need a job in our field?
http://rochester.craigslist.org/spa/5315245082.html

Check out the first review on Amazon about The Happy Trail!

The trilogy is complete - and I'm so sad! All three of these books are amazing, and take you on the wild journey that is the life of ME! Not only are the books a great read, but if you know ME, You know that the books are true to her own personality and style! I loved reading this last book in the trilogy, and can't wait to see what comes next! If you want a great read, and some awesome laughs, this is the book for you!

After a week away, my first appointment turned out to be quite amusing. A woman brought her toddler with her to her waxing appointment. The little girl started to scream when the mom got on the table. The mom picked her daughter up and let her lay across her chest while I started her Brazilian. Things were going well until the child's shoe fell off and landed on the floor.  The girl said "uh-oh" and then started to cry. I picked up the shoe and handed it to the mom. As the mom's leg was in the air and I was waxing her innermost parts, she was putting the child's shoe back on. I wish I could have taped it. We would have become famous on YouTube, because it was that funny.

My name is M.E. Nesser. I write Happy books. I believe in Love and Happiness.  Check out my new license plates!

Day 9 of 9: It's always hard to leave the keys, especially at 4:15 am, but I had to smile as we passed a crocodile crossing sign. My favorite sign, however, is the manatee crossing signs that my sister and I see in the ocean when we are kayaking. We've never seen a crocodile, but we've seen a ton of manatees. They would make anyone happy. And I know from experience that their parts are hairless, in case any of you were wondering.

Day 8 of 9. It's hard to get mad at the stupid stuff when there are so many people around the world who are suffering. Be thankful for today and find happiness wherever you can.

Day 7 of 9. It's my mom's 85th birthday today. I have to thank her for giving me such a positive outlook on life. Without her inspiration, I probably would have never been inclined to write The Happy Hoo-Ha Trilogy. She believes in hard work and being happy, which makes her the perfect role model in my mind.

Day 6 of 9. My staff has been really busy this week which thrills me. I'm glad my regulars are trusting my girls to do their Brazilians.  I realized that it is the ladies that I miss when I'm away, not their lady parts.

Day 5 of 9. I'm still waking up really early, but that's not a bad thing on this vacation. The sunrise on the ocean is spectacular. I hope everyone has a happy day!
~author of The Happy Hoo-Ha Trilogy~

Day 4 of 9. I woke up this morning thinking about a client who recently commented on how often our staff changes. Sadly, it's a common occurrence in the beauty industry. Mark & ME is not the only salon suffering from a revolving door. Some people interview like rock stars, only to disappoint with a poor work ethic or lack of skill. Others are cocky and get defensive when we try to help them get better, which is unpleasant to work with and frustrating to say the least. Prospective workers in our field need to know that our industry is not glamorous. We work our asses off, suffer from injuries, and placate clients who will never be satisfied. Is it worth it? Absolutely! It is one of the most rewarding jobs out there. We make people feel beautiful. You can't put a price on that. I know we have suffered from a myriad of staff changes in the past, but we are trying to find people who have the passion and skill that will make us the best salon ever.

Day 3 of 9. I had a woman tell me The Happy Trail was my best happy book yet. She said it was better written. She loved that Raul wrote the book and not M.E. She also loved the addition of the poetry. Her endorsement made my day! You may have to download your copy on Amazon.

Day 2 of 9 sans hairy friends. The pad of my thumb on my ripping hand keeps cramping. Is that how it plans on relaxing? I don't think it understands the definition of vacation.

Today is day one of nine where I won't be ripping any hoo-ha's. Jury is out whether or not I'll experience any withdrawal symptoms. I'm curious what symptoms accompany a vagina free vacation?

A client brought me a bottle of champagne, because she missed her appointment yesterday and didn't call. It was an honest mistake and I wasn't mad. I knew she'd be in for another Brazilian at some point and that one of us had probably been confused about the date. It was a classy move, however, so I felt the need to share.

It was only a week ago that Kelly and I were on the Wease show talking about The Happy Trail and between the cheeks waxing!

This email made all of us feel so good at Mark & ME. We just had to share. I just wanted to send a note and let you guys know that you are all wonderful. I've been going to you guys for a Brazilian for about a year now...and every time I am there, I'm treated with wonderful service. I had Kelly today, and it was my first time with her and she was just awesome. Great personality, had me laughing the whole time. So thank you so much! I can't wait to come back.

Now that The Happy Hoo-Ha Trilogy is finished, do I look like a romance writer?

The Happy Trail is now available on Kindle!

Just a reminder that Mark & ME are leaving this Sunday 11/8 for one week.  If you only let ME touch your lady bits, you need to be hairy this week. If next week is the only one that works for you, no worries. We have two other pixies that can play with your puss.

If you aren't happy with a service at Mark & ME, please let us know. Don't complain online. Let us fix whatever the problem is and make you happy. If we need to make adjustments in our services, we will gladly listen to all your suggestions and make the appropriate changes. We want every customer to be happy with the service they receive from us. I know it is difficult to complain in person, but it is the best way for us to improve and give you the quality service you deserve.

I'd like to give a shout out @BrotherWease for letting us come onto his show yesterday. He has been so supportive of me. Kelly and I had a lot of fun being on the show together. We were thinking of starting our own radio podcast. The biggest decision would be what to call it.  "The Vagina Lady and Her Peach?"

If you're interested in purchasing The Happy Trail on Amazon, you need to type in The Happy Hoo-Ha Trilogy. The Happy Trail doesn't come up on it's own yet.  Don't know why. Hopefully, when we sell more, it'll come up. Thank you!

Join the author of The Happy Hoo-Ha Trilogy and Rochester's famous Weeny Waxer on Brother Wease this morning at 9am. If you aren't in Rochester, listen to us on Heart Radio.

Please join yours truly and Miss Kelly Dalton on the Brother Wease show FM Radio 95.1 tomorrow at 9:00am. We are celebrating M.E.'s 3rd book, The Happy Trail. We have a fun halloween gift for Wease that is so cool. Laughs are guaranteed!

Yep, I wrote a Happy Hoo-Ha Trilogy!!!

Guess what came in the mail today!!!!  The Happy Trail.

I know so many people who say that fall is their favorite season. It has never been mine. I'm not crazy about things dying around me, the cooler temperatures and all of the rain we tend to get. As I was trying to push my dog out the door this morning to pee, I understand why he didn't want to go out there. I decided it is a good morning to spend a little extra time in bed. Then I got to thinking about all of the women who get lazy with their Brazilians this time of year and that makes me sad. If you're going to be spending more time in bed, shouldn't you be prepared for more pleasure?

I bragged in my books about how I always finish when someone gets on my table for a Brazilian wax. I can't brag anymore. I had a 390 pound woman come in for a wax who couldn't hold her parts out of the way for me to perform a thorough wax. It was very frustrating. I wasn't sure if it would have been awkward to have one of my employees come in and help me. Even though she admitted to me how much she weighed, I didn't want to embarrass her by having another person come into the room. I apologized to her for not being thorough and promised if she came in again, I would figure out a way to get more of it done in the future.

Leaving next Sunday the 8th for a week. If you have any parts that haven't been groomed since summer, please don't wait until I get back. You'd hate to scare yourself on Halloween!

Laugh for the day...As I was giving a girl a Brazilian yesterday, she had a death grip on my rib cage. She kept apologizing for hanging onto me, but she wouldn't let go. At one point, her hand touched the side of my breast. She apologized even more profusely for touching me there. I told her my bra was padded and my boobs were fake, so I didn't feel a thing.

After I finished waxing my last client yesterday, I hung out with her and another woman in our waiting room. We were just chilling out, talking about random naughty stuff and laughing our asses off. We have so many awesome clients that come to Mark & M.E. I could have sat there for hours if we would have had some good red wine and a few appetizers. It was another reminder why I love this business. All of you.

Ordered my new plates today.  Mark wouldn't drive a vehicle that said WXQUEEN which totally surprised me.  He is a hairdresser for pete's sake. A dear friend of mine helped me with my decision. New plates say HPYNESS.

A woman told me she felt like a porn star after she got her first wax. That's a good thing!

Check out The Threesome Show Episode #24  I was the guest that day!

My license plate on my summer car says Wax It All, which is very fitting for a woman who does Brazilians for a living. Yesterday, I got a new car for winter. The big decision is what to say on these plates. Any suggestions?

Yesterday, a woman came in and told me that she sacrificed morning sex to come get waxed by me. She knows the rules about not getting lucky before a wax. She also told me that by making that sacrifice, it was obvious she valued her relationship with me more than the relationship with her boyfriend. It may seem strange to you, but it was music to my ears.

I've always wanted to be a motivational speaker for people suffering with fibromyalgia. It's something I've been struggling with since I was a teen. There are times when fiber sufferers have "flare ups." It's probably different for everyone, but it can be really frustrating. For me, my body feels like I was hit by a bus. My bones hurt. My muscles spasm, and I feel achey everywhere, like I have the flu. There's also an overwhelming sense of exhaustion, which I hate. In my opinion, you have two choices when your body flares up. You can succumb to it or fight it. I fight it by getting out of bed and moving around.  I get a cup of coffee and crawl back in bed to read. That gets my mind off of it. Dwelling on the pain makes it worse. Embrace the day with a positive attitude. Your body will thank you. I want more than your hoo-ha to be happy!

Wait until you hear what happened today. I got a call from a client who was in the hospital who is 28 weeks pregnant. Four days ago, her water broke. That is very dangerous if you aren't close to full term. The doctors told her she had to stay in the hospital until the baby is born. Her goal is to keep that baby inside of her until 35 weeks. She said the only problem is that she needed a wax. She convinced the doctors to let her leave the hospital for one hour to come to Mark & M.E. She had a friend pick her up and bring her to the salon. The doctor told her if the umbilical cord fell out, she was to get into a doggie position and call 911. It was the most nerve wracking Brazilian ever. I was afraid I'd see the cord slipping out of her. I was afraid to push down to her stomach. I was afraid to touch her. It was surreal knowing that she should have been at the hospital, but she begged for an hour repreive to come see me. I love being a part of a woman's journey through pregnancy, but this was out of control.

I went to spin class this morning and my knees were creaky and my legs were achey. I was feeling a little frustrated that my legs didn't feel better when a woman my age came in and got on the bike next to me. She had one leg. Yep, I felt like an ass. Stop bitching friends. Smile and appreciate what you do have, not what you don't. Sometimes even the happy lady who writes happy books needs a reminder once in awhile.
~Author of The Happy Hoo-Ha Trilogy~

I think if I was an outsider looking in, I would think that I have a strange occupation.
Fortunately, I know I have the best job in the world.
~Brazilian Gratitude~

Fall is a beautiful time of the year, because the leaves change color. I have many women who have noticed other things are changing color too. As the leaves fall to the ground and the trees become barren, you may want to help your colorful leaves fall off your tree too. I'm here to landscape your trees ladies. Don't be afraid of this time of the year. Embrace it.
~Your Brazilian Landscaping Specialist~

I just got a message from a guy in New Mexico who wanted a back wax Saturday. He googled waxing and Mark & M.E. came up first.  Every week we have somebody from another state try to make an appointment with us. I do a lot of social media and google analytic stuff to help promote the salon and my books. I guess it's working. Although he'd have to travel on two planes to get to me, so maybe it isn't working quite the way it's supposed too...

The other day, I talked about all of the brides that come in for a wax before their weddings and how happy it makes me to be part of such a special time in their lives. There is another group of women who bring me just as much joy. This week, I waxed seven women who were in their 8th or 9th month of pregnancy. One girl was due in 9 days. Another woman was pregnant with twins. I absolutely love being a part of such an important time in a woman's life. It is a bit more complicated when a woman is that far along, but I love the challenge. And I love pregnant mommies. That's my direction of gratitude on this beautiful day.

When I wax myself and I get to the area that kind of hurts, I exhale as I pull that particular section of hair off. I waxed a woman today who I hadn't seen in months that sported quite the full afro. As I was taking off the hair on that extra sensitive part, I let out a loud exhale as I ripped off that part.  She started to laugh after I removed the hair and said, "Did you just exhale?" I didn't realize I had done that. I started to laugh and said, "OMG, I think I did!" I told her that's what I do when I wax myself. She couldn't believe how loudly I exhaled. I think I was actually anticipating her pain and wanted to make it a little easier on her. I told her that I didn't realize I exhaled, but I knew that it was going to hurt really badly. She assured me that it hurt  really f'***ng bad, but the exhalation and subsequent laughter helped get her through it. I usually am pretty ambivalent to the client's pain. Today, I was sharing her misery. I think I might be getting soft in my old age.

I woke up at 4:30 and was listening to the rain. I was thinking that people might be grumpy today because of the weather. And then I got thinking that being grumpy about something like the weather is such a waste of time. I received some really sad news yesterday. A long standing client of mine got news that her 3 year old has 6 weeks to live. She has been fighting cancer almost her whole life. She has endured endless hours of chemo and radiation. She is an adorable little trooper you would all love. A few months ago, they thought she was in remission. They just found out it's back with a vengeance and she won't be able to beat it. My heart is breaking for this family. No one deserves this. Now they have a right to be grumpy. So I'm sitting here feeling grateful for pretty much every damn thing in my life and hoping that everyone embraces this rainy day and says a prayer for this family.

Consideration is today's unhappy rant. Salons work on a schedule. If your are late or don't show, it affects everyone. No shows can result in a gross loss in revenue and we all need our revenue to pay our bills. Being late is impolite to the patrons who make it to their appointment on time. A simple phone call does wonders. We have had so many people cancel at the last minute, come in very late or not bother to show that we felt the need to express our frustration. Please be considerate of your nail, hair and wax techs. We are all trying to provide the best service possible and your inconsideration can make it difficult to do our jobs and be available to the clients that make it to their appointments as scheduled.

Every week, I seem to wax at least one bride. Some have never been waxed before. Others are regulars. I absolutely love that I am a part of such a special day. I also love that so many more women are enjoying the sexy feeling that Brazilians give. A simple bikini wax is a part of the past. A completely bald, smooth playing field is the ultimate playground and the future.

Huge!! discover at #marknme today!

The biggest ingrown I've ever seen.

It was very long and very lean.

It seemed to come from the depths of China

Via the route of this woman's vagina.

I yelped when I saw it.

I was in awe and in fear

That it came from the depths

Of her derriere. 

She wasn't afraid,

Just a little surprised.

I found this gem in her crotch.

It was the ultimate prize.

  I can't believe they let me say "kick ass" on craigslist! http://rochester.craigslist.org/spa/5253384311.html

#marknme is looking for a receptionist with an esthetic or nail license if you know anyone...

I'm a Pittsford Wegman's kind of gal, but only early in the morning when it isn't crazy busy. I'm also a big fan of Trader Joe's. If I need a few things and it's the middle of the day, I go to Trader's. It's easier and faster and they always seem to have what I need. Today was the first time I felt uneasy shopping at Trader's. The patrons were cranky and pushy and I couldn't get out of there quick enough. It actually made me feel anxious. I hate playing bumper cars with grumpy people at a grocery store. When I went to the cash register, I said good morning and started conversation with the guy cashing me out. After a few minutes, he thanked me for smiling and being pleasant to him. I commented that the people shopping this morning were pretty cranky. He agreed with me. He had eleven minutes until his shift was up and he couldn't wait to get out there. He was thankful that I came through his line so his work day ended on a positive note. What's wrong with people? It's a beautiful, sunny day. Be nice to one another. Is it really that hard to smile?

A woman walked through the front door of our salon that I hadn't seen in several months. I was excited to see her. I escorted her upstairs and asked her where she had been. She said she has been doing herself. In fact, she said she has been a waxurbator. Now that is an interesting twist on a common, self-reliant word. Nope, I can't make this stuff up.

I love my job. I laughed so much today. I'm not even sure which story to share with you, there were so many good ones. For example, one client told me that her husband sent her two emojis as she was on her way to Mark & M.E. One was of a peach. The other was of a tongue. Tell me that's not priceless?

Mark & I got back into town today. As I was walking through the airport, I saw a handful of women that I have waxed. Some haven't been to me for awhile, but I absolutely recognized them. The funny thing is that I couldn't remember everyone's name that I saw. However, I could tell you a naughty secret about each and every one.

#marknme

I was tagged in an article about Brazilian waxing, so I just read it. The article kept saying how much it hurt. I really don't think it hurts, especially since I can wax myself in less than ten minutes. Why can't they just focus on the amazing benefits of Brazilians instead of focussing on the mild discomfort some people experience? All I can say is their glass is totally half empty whereas mine is always half full!

Mark & I were sitting at a stoplight when I saw a coffee shop called Addicted to the Bean. I couldn't stop laughing! Then it occurred to me, not only is the name creative and highly suggestive, it also describes my addiction. I mean, if anyone is addicted to that area, it would have to be me. It may not be the bean itself, but definitely the house that the bean lives in.

I'm one step closer to getting it published! Happy Sunday everyone!!

Something really cool happened yesterday. A woman had to go to a funeral and she had been crying and was sad. She tried to figure out the best place to go after it ended that would make her feel better. So she came to get a Brazilian with me. We talked about all sorts of crazy shit, which I'm sure surprises all of you who know me. I even taught her about what a FUPA was. She laughed continually for over ten minutes. She was so glad with her decision to come get ripped. She told me that Mark & M.E. was the best place she could have come after the funeral. Most people wouldn't probably think to put funerals and Brazilians together, but she was very thankful that she did.

I truly am a happy person, but there is one day of the year that makes me unhappy.  Yesterday was it. 

Sneak peek at the happy pic for the next book. Love my photographer Joyce Malave!

I can't help myself. I want to share more about what Amazon said about my book, because I am over the moon excited!
"Lighthearted and fun, Nesser takes a literally painful subject and turns it into art, refusing to listen to anyone who would say her work is not suitable for polite conversation. A celebration of the human body, sexuality, and the things we do for beauty, The Happy Trail will delight and titillate anyone who appreciates a good story that starts with dropping underwear."

Amazon just finished editing my third book, The Happy Trail. I was so stoked when I read their description of the book, I felt compelled to share it with you. Here is is!
"Using poetry, stories and illustrations, Nesser sheds light on a rarely discussed, but integral part, of millions of women's beauty regimes. With sass and spunk, she regales readers with the most hysterical, cringe-worthy, raunchy, and just plain strange situations she's encountered while bending over lady bits wielding hot wax."

It may be the last day of summer
And that is definitely a bummer
But that doesn't make it okay
To neglect the path to your lady way
Keeping things fresh
Makes it the best
So don't get lazy
It'll drive you crazy
Nothing feels as bad
Or will make you as sad
As a big, hairy one
When we have no more sun

I went to the acupuncturist today. She asked what areas needed extra needles. I told her the usual.  The hands, elbows, shoulders, neck and knees. She commented that my arms were pretty beat up. I told her that I get down and dirty in the bush and my body has taken a beating. Maybe I should have joined the army. I'm a tough bitch in the trenches. Shove some needles in me and send me back out into the combat zone. Proud to be a warrior in the fight against the hairy hoo-ha.

Yesterday, we learned about another friend whose wife has been diagnosed with cancer. Although it sounds like they caught it early, she still has cancer and still has to have major surgery. It is so scary. It seems like everyday we hear about somebody who is struggling with some form of cancer. When I woke up this morning, I hugged my husband for the longest time feeling an enormous amount of gratitude that he was lying there healthy next to me at 57 years old and I was praying that he stays that way for years to come. But there are no guarantees, so I was soaking up the gratitude while I could.  Every day is truly a gift. Make it count. Choose to be happy friends!

This morning I'm reflecting about all of the random people who really aren't so random and are very important in my life. Like the people at the bank who I genuinely like and see on a weekly basis. There's also the early morning crew that work at Wegman's who I've gotten to know over the years and even know by name. The front end people who work at Midtown are another bunch I genuinely like. And what about those bartenders and servers that you get to know and like? If you think about it, you come across a lot of the same people on a regular basis who become an important part of your life. I just saw a client that I hadn't seen in months and it reminded how much I not only like and care about my clientele, but how much I miss the one's who no longer come to me. People are what make life fulfilling. Feel thankful for all of those "not-so random" people in your life, because they are the sort of random that makes it all worthwhile.

Completely stoked, because Mark & M.E. got recognition from Yelp, because we have such great reviews.  Thank you for that honor! We love you too!!

Sometimes the conversations in the wax rooms are so comical. A girl came in and told me that her snatch looked like a cat. I peeked at it and said it looked like the cat had died. I know, I say the sweetest things to my clients sometimes. She continued by saying that her snatch had been meowing and hissing at her, which was a little disconcerting, but I went with it. We started talking about something else for a few minutes while I removed the angry kitty fur from her midsection. As I was about to ask her to roll on her side, I told her that her kitty was indeed alive and well and ready to purr. Don't you love happy endings? We sure do...in more ways than one! Happy Thursday Rochester!!

Today, a girl was all excited that I was giving her a Brazilian instead of one of my employees. She commented that I was famous.  I asked her what she heard I was famous for. She said I was the famous "vagina lady" in Rochester. I couldn't help but smile. I also couldn't help but think that my dad would have gotten a real kick out of this happy hoo-ha stuff. Vaginas are a pretty funny thing to be famous for, but I'll take that status. I've worked hard to get this bizarre recognition. Thank you for the honor.

Our clients are loving that we have brought facials back to Mark & M.E. and are also loving our very own Mark & M.E. skincare line. It is an organic line based on pure botanicals. For one more week, we are offering our deep cleansing facial for only $40 (regular $70)!  Take advantage of this incredible special. We know you'll love it!

Amazing Clearance Sale! It has just come to our attention that our Happy Hoo-Ha Numbing Cream has expired. The manufacturer assures us that it is still effective way past its shelf life and is not harmful past expiration, but we want to order a new shipment. Although it normally sells for $25 a tube, we are clearing out our remaining 100 boxes at $5/piece. So stop by this week and stock up. Remember, it's great on bug bites too!

I know that it's a sad time in Rochester, NY when the leaves start falling, it rains a lot, and the temperatures are dropping. But that doesn't mean you should stop caring about how you look and how you feel. It seems like the people in this city get very grumpy as summer leaves us. It is a bummer that we don't always see a lot of sun, but instead of lamenting on the impending doom, embrace the change. Continue to do whatever you need to do to feel good about yourself. Don't grow a winter bush between your legs or have unpolished piggies on your feet. Spend a little more time at the gym and enjoy the positivity that endorphins bring to your body. Stay in bed a little longer and enjoy your parter, or BOB, if no such partner exists. It bums me out that people can't wait for the end of the week or the end of a season. Just enjoy what is in front of you and you may be surprised that you too can enjoy every day in our fair city, regardless of the temperature or the sky. Happy is the new black!

You need to read this before the The Happy Trail comes out!

Yesterday I told you that I've submitted my third happy book to Amazon, which will round out
The Happy Hoo-Ha trilogy. I also told you that you no longer have to worry about making the book.  That isn't entirely accurate. If any of you do anything really outlandish, I could always add it in at the last minute. Just saying...

If you're worried about saying or doing something that will make one of my books, you can rest easy. I just submitted my third and final book in The Happy Hoo-Ha trilogy to Amazon to be edited, formatted and hopefully published before Christmas!

It never ceases to amaze me how people feel the need to rename their genitalia. Some references are funny. Many are crude. And then, every once in awhile, I hear about names that are new to me. Did you know that women have hamburgers and men have hot dogs?

Since I started writing chapters in my books entitled "What's That Smell?" and "WTF" people have gotten a little paranoid that they will make the third book. A woman was so nervous about offending me last week that not only did she clean herself extra thoroughly in the shower right before she drove to the salon, she sprayed her lady parts with perfume. Your considerations are always appreciated.

Labor day weekend is a special holiday for Mark & M.E. In 1991, we had our son Adryan on that Sunday. In 1992, we had our daughter Kaylah on that Monday. It has always been a special weekend for us, so we hope everyone is having an awesome day!

Here's one of my poems in its entirety from The Happy Trail which I am trying to finish this weekend.  What do you think?

 Salty Pretzel Rod

Removing the hair

From your innermost lips

Makes you feel sexy

From your head to your hips.

 When you first take off the hair

It’s tender to touch

And too much friction

Will hurt so much.

You must wait

Many hours or more

Or you won’t be happy

When he goes through your door.

If you don’t wait

For him to enter your bod

His penis will feel

Like a salty pretzel rod.