Random Brazilian conversation:
-"It hurts today."
-"That's because you're dehydrated."
-"I should drink water first?"
-"Absolutely. Since you had wine last night and only coffee today, you're super dehydrated."
-"Next time I'm drinking a swimming pool before I come in!"

A man told his wife that she couldn't be an atheist since she screams for God during their sexy times. I told her she couldn't be an atheist since she screams for Jesus during her waxes.

If you notice there is no BIKINI WAX listed on the Mark & M.E. menu. The typical bikini wax at most salons is very limited and doesn't allow you the freedom to wear a thong. I started calling my technique a PLAYBOY WAX because it still leaves hair in the middle but allows my ladies to wear skimpy bottoms.

A 60 year old couple reunited after 40 years. They were each other's first loves. When they rekindled their romance, the man was surprised that the woman was sporting a Brazilian wax. He had never been with a woman who waxed it all. Apparently it was a big hit. He told her that all he needed was a bib.

A retired gentleman from Michigan stopped by for a Brazilian yesterday. As soon as he got on the table, he asked for a bullet to bite on. I told him this wasn't the wild west but he was going to be feeling wild with his wife after I finished with him!

The daily use of coconut oil on your lady parts can keep them healthier,  moisturized and ready to party! It also makes waxing that area more comfortable.

I was excited when Colleen asked if she could bring hair extensions to Mark & M.E. Since we are known for Brazilian Waxing, however, it's impossible for me not to find some humor in all of this.

To ensure I remove all stray hairs from the bikini area, I often tilt my head sideways near the client's stomach so I can get a better view. A new client must have thought something was wrong with me, because she pet my head lovingly as I was looking for any random hairs.

Want a wild and crazy cootchy? Stop rubbing cocoa butter all over the area because the heavy lotion makes it bumpy and not even remotely sexy!!!!

When a woman asked her man to get waxed between his cheeks, he told her he was worried that it would feel like velcro back there.

There is something very liberating about getting waxed between the cheeks. In fact, it has become an extremely popular service with our gentleman clientele. I think it makes them feel powerful - like batman - or should I say butt man!

Louis Vuitton has v-j-jays on the brain! I always knew my profession was classy!!

We have worked very hard to provide our clients with a nice environment when they come to our salons. Sadly, there are still people who take that as an invitation to steal from us. We had a new tub of sugar scrub taken from the bathroom at Mark & M.E. and a full bottle of lotion taken from the Wax It All bathroom. There is a part of me that would like to remove everything from the restrooms except a pile of leaves to wipe your personal areas, but then I realized the wax technicians may not appreciate that!

An ad for hunting workout gear came up on my instagram feed. Although I've never hunted before, I am obsessed with beavers!

More wax tips: When you finish getting a wax, we'd like you to go home and chill out. When you workout after a wax, the increased body temperature and sweating can irritate your skin. We don't want your baby smooth skin to be anything less than perfect!

More helpful wax hints: Gently exfoliate before your wax to loosen up stubborn hairs that are trapped beneath the skin. Our goal is to get your bottom as smooth as a baby's!

If your hair is prickly, then it probably isn't long enough to get waxed. Please let it grow for at least 2 weeks before you get a wax. The good news is that once you start waxing, the rubbing up against a cactus days will be over!

Getting nice and clean prior to your wax is not only considerate, but it will allow us to be more thorough. But remember, don't put lotions or powders on the area you plan to get waxed because they can interfere with how well the hair comes out.

Your skin is composed mostly of water. Make sure you drink plenty before your wax. Hydrated skin waxes more easily, hurts much less and will be less irritated!

Tired of the rashy prickly herpes look on your bikini line? Throw out the razor and come see the wax experts at the Mark and M.E. Salon and then a customized spray tan at Wax It All!

When client's exclaim "Oh Mylanta" during a Brazilian Wax, it reminds me of the movie 'The Ringer.' When I searched for pics and saw this one, I was excited, because I have seen all of these expressions on client's faces in the past.

Look what's in your under pants.
Are you ready to do the Friday Dance?
www.marknme.com

Don't let this happen to you! Come see one of the Brazilian Wax Experts at Mark & M.E. and Wax It All before you have one of these moments.

Making women feel sexy and confident makes me really happy! Don't underestimate the power of The Happy Hoo-Ha!

I was recently introduced to someone who asked what I did for a living. When I told her I did Brazilians, she said there was someone locally who wrote a really funny book about her experiences doing Brazilian waxing. Yep, that was M.E.!!!!

Some people sweat profusely when they get Brazilians. One client suggested I provide headbands to stop the sweat from running in her eyes during the service. That might be a fun thing to offer while I wax on...wax off!

This is the kind of pie chart that gets me excited! Manscaping is more than splashing some Aqua Velva on your face!

Highlight of my day was when I showed a client the strip of hair I removed from between her cheeks and she said, "You just removed a cocker spaniel from my ass!"