At some point, I am going to make a career change. With your help, I hope to change from being a ripper to being a writer.

I know it must be weird to go into a new salon and just take your pants off in front of a stranger and hop on a table completely exposed so you can get some pain inflicted upon you. In fact, I can see how this whole scenario involves a lot of trust. Well, you can trust me when I say you are not the hairiest, scariest or smelliest person I have ever worked on. And you can also trust that I will not judge you. I just want to make you bald as efficiently as possible and hopefully keep you distracted enough so that coming back to see me won't be so nerve wracking next time.

A woman told me that her husband was considering getting a "manzilian." I told her that he shouldn't bother. Most men can't take it and they rarely do it twice. Sorry fellas, it's the truth.

It doesn't take a Rocket Scientist to figure out that it is more fun when there is nothing in your way.

Some people think we should just go with the natural look the way God intended. A client told me that God wouldn't have let us figure out how to make wax if he wanted us hairy.

I asked a girl if she was going out since it was a Friday night. She said she was staying home to nurse her vagina.

I have become very popular with the runners in Rochester. Why, you may ask? Because shaving causes irritation. Leaving it hairy causes irritation. Basically what I have learned is that you can run faster when you don't have blisters on our beave.