I was telling a married couple about a nasty encounter I recently had with a client who obviously hadn't showered in days. Then I told them a crazy story about a new man that I waxed. That's when the man looked at me and said that I am officially a prostitute, because I will do anybody, no matter what.

I told the guy with the retractable penis that looked like a cigar nub that his penis was afraid of me. And it was. ~the Brozilian terminator~

When I finished giving a man a Brozillian, he sat up, looked down and said he couldn't believe how much his penis had retracted. Retracted? No, that bad boy was trying to disappear.

I use the same facial wax to remove any body hair on any body. It doesn't matter if the hair is long, short, curly or straight. It especially doesn't matter what color it is, even though red head's are often stubborn. But when I hear about a salon charging black girls more because they supposedly use a more expensive wax on their coarse hair, I get pissed off. That is a bull shit excuse to charge more money.

When you lie down on my table and all of your pubic hair is visible, then I do not consider you a big girl. If I can see it, then it'll be no problem to wax it. So I had this lady apologize for being fat and I told her she was fine and why. She started laughing hysterically and said it was the first time in her life she was told she wasn't fat because her vagina was easily in my face.

Things, for the most part, really don't gross me out. In fact, I'm thinking about starting a picture book of all the different shapes and sizes of hemorrhoids I see all day. Some look like flesh colored candy corn. Some look like cauliflower. Some look like bouquets of flowers. Don't avoid getting a Brazilian because you have hemorrhoids. Bring it on! Who knows, you just might make the book.

When it is hot and humid out, area's under clothing tend to get extra hot and sweaty. Just a pleasant reminder. ~your wax educator~