Monday, June 30, 2014

I think the "soft" guy from yesterday was regretting his decision to get a Brazilian about the time he loudly declared how emasculating the whole procedure was.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

A young man came in for a Brazilian and was concerned about getting an erection. A few minutes into the service, it was obvious that his manhood was not going to show itself to me in its proud and regal form. In fact, he yelled in a desperate form of anguish that he had never been that soft in his entire life.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Any idea what animal can keep a hen really, really happy?
~Words of Wisdom from The Happy Hen House~

Friday, June 27, 2014

Another first at Mark & ME. Had a young man bite down on a popsicle stick while I gave him a Brazilian. You should have seen the teeth marks on the stick by the time I finished!

Thursday, June 26, 2014

"At least when you have surgery, they give you good drugs!" Brazilians aren't that bad, are they?

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

I had a woman refer to her happy trail as her treasure trail. Although I don't think hair from the navel down is cute on a woman, I think her expression was.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

She thought it looked like a caterpillar. I thought it looked like a dead rodent. Gotta love waxing analogies.

Monday, June 23, 2014

When I told a woman what I did for a living, she recommended I coin a new phrase for Brazilian Waxing like the Roch-Cha-Cha so I can brand my unique ten minute service. I think it's a brilliant idea. Any thoughts?

Sunday, June 22, 2014

I love getting feedback about The Happy Hen House. One woman loved the story about the manatee.  I also love that story.  It was a magical moment. And the manatee really did have a large, hairless vagina.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

In some cases, I have needed a fan attached to each side. The fans would act as a Brazilian blow torch.

Friday, June 20, 2014

What if I invented a small fan that attaches to my glasses to push unpleasant aromas away from me to make some of my waxing experiences more pleasant?

Thursday, June 19, 2014

A girl was trying to save money so she stopped waxing for awhile and started shaving again. It didn't last very long, because she said you could "connect the dots" with all of the ingrown hairs that she got from shaving again.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

When you rip off a bandaid, is it your natural instinct to grab the wound? Probably not. So why do you insist on grabbing your vagina when I rip off a wax strip?

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Yesterday, I was at the doctor's waiting to get a shot. The nurse was a client and she said she had a funny story to tell me. Apparently, her girlfriend had come to get a Brazilian with me and, like most first-timers, her skin was very red after. Her husband looked at her v-j-jay and said it looked like a red tomato.  A few weeks later, this couple bought a boat and considered naming it The Red Tomato.

Monday, June 16, 2014

People have interesting expressions they use when they are coming for a Brazilian so no one will know what they are really doing.  I have a woman who refers to her appointments as going to brunch.  I think that is quite fitting.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Hundreds of Rochester women gave their husbands the Brazilian Gift of Love this Father's Day. I can't think of a better way to thank your man for being a good daddy.

Saturday, June 14, 2014

I received the nicest compliment via email about The Happy Hen House that I wanted to share with you. One of my clients has a baby and, even though she has gone back to work, she has continued to nurse him. Her email said that my book was a work hazard. Apparently, she was reading it at work while she was pumping, lost track of time, and pumped for thirty minutes.

Friday, June 13, 2014

I had an engaged couple drive an hour to come see me for side-by-side Honeymoon Brazilians. It is so exciting to be part of such a special time in people's lives. I hope that preparing couples for their wedding night will become a new trend, because it is, mot definitely, my kind of trend.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

I got a message from a client that said her husband got a legitimate call for a beaver attack the other night.  You have to watch out for those beavers. They can be feisty little buggers.
~Honorary Member of the Brazilian Beaver Wildlife Team~

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

You may want to hold off on being intimate for several hours after you get a Brazilian, unless you like the way a salty pretzel rod feels against an open wound.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

I have become pretty immune to swearing over the years.  It is kind of expected when you're giving someone a Brazilian. What suprises me is when people scream expressions other than swear words. A new client kept yelling "Jiminy Cricket" throughout the service. Although it was an unusual thing to keep saying, I do know that she will want to rub her legs together like a cricket and make happy noises when I finish with her.

Monday, June 9, 2014

A girl told me that her friend couldn't understand how she got Brazilians.  She told her friend that waxing was a way of life. Amen sister!

Sunday, June 8, 2014

In the Showtime series called Californication, a child walks in on his mother giving a hooker a Brazilian.  He looks at the hooker's exposed lady parts and says it looks like a big pink walnut.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

I waxed a woman who had a labiaplasty (labia reduction surgery) done in March. She said that they put 64 stitches in her. That sounded like a lot of stitches to put in such a small area. She said it looked like a Frank-en-puss.

Friday, June 6, 2014

I know it may surprise you but doing a choke hold on my right hand with your buttock cheeks makes the waxing process a bit more difficult.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Can snatches get swampy too?

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

A man wanted to know if waxing between his cheeks would alleviate swamp ass.  I imagine it will.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Mark was sitting at the front desk in our waiting room when a girl walked right by him and started to leave the salon. He stopped her and asked if she had just gotten a Brazilian. She said yes. He asked her if she needed to be cashed out. She said she didn't know where she should pay since there wasn't a girl sitting at the front desk. He told her she could cash out with him since he was sitting there. She was apprehensive but did pay for the service. I don't remember putting a "free waxing" sign on the door that day.

Monday, June 2, 2014

A woman brought her baby into the room while I was giving her a Brazilian.  About half way through the service, the baby started fussing, so I started talking to the baby to quiet him down. When I left the room, the next client waiting wanted to know why I was "baby talking" to the woman's vagina?

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Bald vaginas could rule the world.