Wednesday, December 31, 2014

My New Year's Blog 2011: On this last day of the year, I hope everyone finds a way to pay some kind of tribute to that incredible part of the woman's body that brings life unto this magnificent Earth. 

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Maybe being bald isn't for you. That's no problem. Try a new look for the New Year. How about a martini glass? Basically it is a triangle that points to the direction that you want your man to go.
~The Brazilian Beautician~

Monday, December 29, 2014

After watching the sunrise this morning, I decided to go back in time and see what I blogged four years ago on this date. I couldn't believe what I had written. 12/29/2010 Blog: I watched the sun rise this morning. I like things that rise.
Brazilian Bewilderment

Sunday, December 28, 2014

My hope for the new year is that all the women I have had a connection with in my professional and personal life are happy. And if their hoo-ha's are happy, I'll be even more psyched!

Saturday, December 27, 2014

I've been blogging about beavers for almost 5 years. I think I'd like to start blogging in our local newspaper about managing chronic pain, but when they asked if I had an existing blog, I wasn't sure what to say.  I didn't think having a blog entitled Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha was going to give me any brownie points.

Friday, December 26, 2014

Love when a grateful client leaves me a message on one of my most important tools of the trade. This made me happy!

Thursday, December 25, 2014

We wish you a hairless Christmas
We wish you a hairless Christmas
We wish you a hairless Christmas
And a Happy Nude You!
love, #sassysnatch

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
12 drooling daddy's11 pussies primping
10 lips a lushing
9 labia dancing
8 mouths a munching
7 snatches smiling
6 guys a licking
5 gold clit rings
4 cheerful beaves
3 frisky hoo-ha's 
2 twinkly dildos
and his package standing tall like a tree.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
11 pussies primping
10 lips a lushing
9 labia dancing
8 mouths a munching
7 snatches smiling
6 guys a licking
5 gold clit rings
4 cheerful beaves
3 frisky hoo-ha's 
2 twinkly dildos
and his package standing tall like a tree.
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
10 lips a lushing
9 labias dancing
8 mouths a munching
7 snatches smiling
6 guys a licking
5 gold clit rings
4 cheerful beaves
3 frisky hoo-ha's 
2 twinkly dildos
and his package standing tall like a tree.

Monday, December 22, 2014

On the 9th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me.
9 labias dancing
8 mouths a munching
7 snatches smiling
6 guys a licking
5 gold clit rings
4 cheerful beaves
3 frisky hoo-ha's
2 twinkly dildos
and his package standing tall like a tree. 
On the 8th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me.
8 mouths a munching
7 snatches smiling
6 guys a licking
5 gold clit rings
4 cheerful beaves
3 frisky hoo-ha's
2 twinkly dildos
and his package standing tall like a tree.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

On the 7th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me.
7 snatches smiling
6 guys a licking
5 gold clit rings
4 cheerful beaves
3 frisky hoo-ha's
2 twinkly dildos
and his package standing tall like a tree.
On the 6 the day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
6 guys a licking
5 gold clit rings
4 cheerful beaves
3 frisky hoo-ha's
2 twinkly dildos
and his package standing tall like a tree.


Saturday, December 20, 2014

On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me.
5 gold clit rings
4 cheerful beaves
3 frisky hoo-ha's 
2 twinkly dildos
and his package standing tall like a tree.
On the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me.
4 cheerful beaves
3 frisky hoo-ha's
2 Twinkly dildos
And his package standing tall like a tree.

Friday, December 19, 2014

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me.
3 frisky hoo-ha's
2 twinkly dildos
and his package standing tall like a tree.
On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me.
2 twinkly dildos
And his package standing tall like a tree.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me.
His package standing tall like a tree. 

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

You cannot have a happy holiday with a hairy hoo-ha.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

I love to make people laugh when I am waxing them. Wouldn't it be nice if doctors tried my approach when they are doing painful things to you too?

Monday, December 15, 2014

Christmas should be a time of joy and love, but everyone seems hurried and annoyed. The roads and stores are crowded and stressful. I think more people should stay home and enjoy their Brazilians.

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Only 11 days to give him what he truly wants for Christmas.  You.  #Brazilians #marknme

Saturday, December 13, 2014

A woman once asked me to leave the shape of a mistletoe on her bikini area. She said she wanted her man to kiss her under the mistletoe.

Friday, December 12, 2014

Tinsel can be one of the most annoying tree decorations which is why #marknme clients prefer not to have tinsel on their trees.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Have a lot of snow in your driveway? Come to #marknme today. I can clear your driveway down to the pavement in less than 10 minutes!

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Most women try to get waxed every four to six weeks. Sometimes, there are extenuating circumstances that make it necessary for a woman to wait longer. This was a first for me that was a bit frightening and I felt compelled to share.  One of my ladies had an encounter with a normal sized white boy who had a not-so-normal sized appendage. Sadly, her insides got torn and she bled so badly that she passed out. Since the bleeding wouldn't stop, she ended up in the emergency room needing internal stitches. I guess there is such a thing as being too big.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

16 days left.  Let me slay your porcupine this holiday season. Pic from #thehappyhenhouse 

Monday, December 8, 2014

17 days "til Xmas. Make sure Santa has a smooth place to land his sleigh. #Brazilians #marknme

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Only 18 days until Christmas. If you want me to leave the shape of a Christmas Tree on your body when you come in for your holiday Brazilian, it would be my pleasure. Who knows,  maybe you'll get lucky and someone will put something special under your tree?

Saturday, December 6, 2014

I know it may feel awkward to keep your socks on during your Brazilian, but trust me, I'm not looking at your feet.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

If you don't like vagina talk, that is perfectly fine.  Just don't read my posts.  But I just want to mention, if it wasn't for a vagina, you wouldn't be here.
 I thought I'd give you an audible laugh this morning. Check out this clip from my comedy skit about politics and my license plate. It only lasts about 2 minutes then you can shut it off.
Happy Hoo-Ha:  "License Plate"

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Some girls giggle during a Brazilian.  I asked a giggler if she giggled during sex.  She said only when his penis is small!

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Although I received a Masters Degree, I didn't get my first computer until I was close to 30 years old. I have tried very hard to keep up with all of the social media demands that have not only helped our business but have helped me sell books. I was excited when my first stand up routine was put on the internet. What I didn't realize was that YouTube refers to "you" on the "tube" and I have been spelling it wrong for as long as I've used the word in print. So for those of you who missed it, my stand up can be found on YouTube, not UTube. Just type in The Happy Hoo-Ha Live! And next time I make an error when I am blogging,  feel free to point it out to me. As long as I don't make an error waxing your private parts, life is good. Believe me, I won't get offended. I'll appreciate the help.

Monday, December 1, 2014

Whether I am gone a week or a weeknd, I always look forward to getting back to the bush. See you tomorrow!

Sunday, November 30, 2014

Last day of "no shave november." Music to this wax technicians ears! #Brazilians 

Saturday, November 29, 2014

If you're interested to hear about the different shapes I leave on women when they get a Brazilian, go to The Happy Hoo-Ha Live! on UTube and listen from 5:55 for about two minutes. You'll hear about the Patrick story, which is one of my favorites.

Friday, November 28, 2014

I hope you aren't too full to enjoy all of my hard work today. #Brazilians #marknme #Blackfriday

Thursday, November 27, 2014

I am thankful for the thousands of women who have entrusted their precious lady parts to me. It has been a wonderful journey.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Someone told me they were doing the Turkey Trot this year.  I thought she said Turkey Twat. I can't seem to get that body part out of my mind, ever.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Wegman's isn't the only place in Rochester you need to go to in order to prepare for your Thanksgiving dinner. #marknme #Brazilians 

Monday, November 24, 2014

Yes, I am the ultimate porcupine slayer!

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Yesterday I blogged about a man who yelled vowels during his Brazilian instead of swearing. A client commented that it was like going back to grade school.  It was like grade school, in more ways than one.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Another first at #marknme. I was giving a young man a Brazilian, and instead of swearing, he yelled "A,E,I,O,U!"

Friday, November 21, 2014

The Happy Hoo-Ha has gone Live!  Check out my stand--up routine at The Comedy Club. Feel free to "like" and "share" it. http://youtu.be/8TB921A8rCk

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Thank you for joining me at the Comedy Club in Webster last night. I love making people laugh. I love vaginas. And I love everyone who came to support me!

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Sexy isn't just for summertime, you know. Your lady parts cannot differentiate between the seasons. She wants to be sexy all year long.  So bundle up and come get a Brazilian today before you need a shovel for more things than snow.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Please join M.E. at the Comedy Club in Webster tomorrow night at 7 pm for The Rage Against The Vageen, an all women comedy event. And yes, I will be doing stand-up for the first time ever!

Monday, November 17, 2014

After a couple finished fooling around, the man got up, looked in the mirror, and said, "what's in my teeth?" That's when she realized it was time for a Brazilian.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

This beautiful woman from Georgia has proven that The Happy Hoo-Ha has made it down south, in more ways than one!

Saturday, November 15, 2014

I know a lot of men who'd like to have a full course meal with the little man in the pink canoe.
Fondly, Sassysnatch

Friday, November 14, 2014

Last night at the comedy club, a comedienne said that black men don't like to get face to face with the little man in the pink canoe. I think if more women got rid of the sea weed on their boats, the canoe would be much more appealing. #Brazilians #marknme

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Just for the record, my photo from the Spirit Magazine was not photoshopped. Brazilians keep me young.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

There have actually been complaints that my Midtown ad was pornographic and not appropriate for a fitness magazine. I thought the concept was pretty clever and I was careful that none of my lady parts were showing. I guess everyone's idea of porn is a little different.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Talk about taking risks.  This is my latest ad in Midtown's Spirit Magazine.

Monday, November 10, 2014

So now I am taking another risk. It may be smaller then changing careers, but it's still a risk.  I am participating in a local event called Rage Against The Vageen at The Comedy Club on November 19th. No, I've never dreamed about being a comedian, but I think I've figured out how to make my profession funny and have published two "happy" books to back me up. My goal has always been to take the awkward out of getting a Brazilian and make it a fun experience. I'm excited for the opportunity to make people laugh. I am The Happy Hoo-Ha lady, you know.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

I got a Masters Degree in 1989 and taught elementary school for a few years. I think I was pretty good at teaching, but I didn't love it. One day I took a risk, went to Cosmetology School and joined Mark at the salon. That was one of the smartest risks I ever took. I had a really great week.  I laughed a lot and I hugged a lot. So my sermon on this beautiful Sunday morning is as follows. Don't be afraid of change. Don't be afraid to take risks. I never expected that I'd be waxing vaginas for a living, but it is has been an amazing journey and I've enjoyed every minute of the ride.

Saturday, November 8, 2014

I hurt people and they hug me. God, I love my job! #Brazilians #marknme

Friday, November 7, 2014

Some things really do "hurt so good."  Try a Brazilian today.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

You can't put a price tag on feeling sexy. #Brazilians #marknme

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

When a woman was thinking about finding a salon to get a Brazilian, her boyfriend told her that his ex-wife goes to Mark & M.E.  {excerpt from The Happy Hoo-Ha}

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

I've been away from the salon for ten days and I can't wait to get back to work today.  I guess I'm not ready to retire yet. #Brazilians #marknme

Monday, November 3, 2014

The weather is changing and it's hard to feel sexy as we pull out the bulky sweaters and the winter coats.  Treat yourself this winter season to pretty lingerie and a perfectly pampered...

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Don't be afraid of the pain.  Be afraid of the pleasure #Brazilians  #marknme

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Please remember that "No Shave November" is not okay. #Brazilians   #marknme

Friday, October 31, 2014

Some people argue we need pubic hair to act as a cushion between our legs.  Cushions are for couches not crotches.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

I'm so disappointed with the changes in Facebook.  A thousand people used to see my post every day on the Mark & ME Facebook page.  Now I'm lucky if one hundred people see it. Heck, I think I have some funny things to say about the hoo-ha. It's no surprise that Facebook's stock keeps going down.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

I just finished rereading #thehappyhooha so I could practice for when I put it on tape next week. Nothing for nothing, there are some really funny parts in that book.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

I love knowing that Brazilians make my clients feel more confident.

Monday, October 27, 2014

I love making women feel sexy.  #Brazilians  #marknme

Sunday, October 26, 2014

I don't know why anyone would shave on vacation. Bumps and bathing suits are not cute. Brazilians are the bomb.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

I had a woman mess with her birth control pills so she could get a wax with me yesterday since I wasn't going to be around next week. That is dedication to #thehappyhooha.

Friday, October 24, 2014

Sometimes, I get asked to leave some weird shapes on the bikini line. Letters are common. In fact, I left a large letter K the other day on a lady to celebrate her boyfriend's birthday. And now with Halloween approaching, I shudder to think what kind of eerie designs my ladies will be asking for.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

I wear a faded and distressed black hat to the gym that says "Wax Queen" on it. The older gentleman who manages the front desk pulled me aside one day and told me that I needed to buy a new hat. He said that since I took pride on making women smooth and shiny all day, my hat should also be smooth and shiny.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Wearing pretty panties can make you feel sexy and powerful, but not if there is unruly hair sticking out of the sides. Maybe it's time for you to try a Brazilian.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

One time I had a girl come in for a Brazilian as a treat to herself for her birthday. She told me that she first noticed the signs in front of the salon when she was 18 years old, but was always afraid to come in. She was excited on this particular birthday, because she finally mustered up the courage to come get it done. It was her 30th birthday. {excerpt from #thehappyhenhouse}

Monday, October 20, 2014

I told someone that I learned to do Brazilians by waxing myself. She wanted to know if I had a suicide wish.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

#Sassysnatch is off to do the breast cancer walk with two friends who are survivors and in honor of my sister, who is also a survivor.  Boobs and Beaves!

Saturday, October 18, 2014

I am always so pumped to start my day at #marknme before 8am on Saturday's. There's no place I'd rather be.

Friday, October 17, 2014

A girl told me she feels like Beyonce when she gets a Brazilian, because it makes her feel so sexy.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

I am humbled by all of the clients who travel over an hour to get waxed by me. One man drove to Rochester with his wife, because he is a huge fan of the restaurant Chipotle and they don't have any of them in their neck of the woods. He told his wife that he was excited, because he was going to get burritos and sex.  What a perfect combination!

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

I heard about an article that said you have more sexual feelings when you are hairy. I think it was a misprint and they meant to say you have more sweaty feelings when you are hairy.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

On November 19th, #Sassysnatch is going to be at The Comedy Club in Webster, NY at an event called The Rage Against The Vageen. Although I am not a comedienne, I will promoting my books and telling a few stories in hopes of making people laugh.  I am happy to say that there will be real comediennes at this event, so you are at least guaranteed to laugh with them. This is where I need your help. Please let me know what the funniest story is that I ever told you, that you read in one of my books, saw on my blog or read on my Twitter.  Don't let #thehappyhooha lady be embarrassed that night! And feel free to join me.  Everyone loves to laugh about our luscious lady parts!

Monday, October 13, 2014

I really don't understand the whole fish lip kiss look that is so popular these days. Anything fishy on the puss just doesn't make sense to me.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

A woman got her first Brazilian at another salon.  The woman took forever, wasn't thorough, and left her very sore for days after. She said you can't hump when you're hurt and the reason she got a Brazilian was to hump. Fortunately, she found Mark & M.E. She got a full Brazilian in a reasonable amount of time and was able to hump to her heart's content.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

I'd rather work around a runny nose than a runny peach.
#thehappyhooha

Friday, October 10, 2014

Today's Fact: I have had 7 people in the room at one time to get Brazilians.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

M.E. Fact of the day:  The oldest woman I have waxed was 75 years old.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

M.E. Fact of the Day: My fastest Brazilian to date is 42 seconds.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

M.E. Fact of the day: I gave a nine month pregnant woman a Brazilian while she was laying on her left side, because she couldn't lie on her back.

Monday, October 6, 2014

M.E. Fact of the day: The oldest man I have given a Brazilian to thus far is 69 years old.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

When I wake up on a Sunday morning and feel a little beat up, I know that I have worked very hard excavating the Brazilian Rain Forest.

Saturday, October 4, 2014

It's a beautiful day for a good bush whacking.  #brazilians #marknme

Friday, October 3, 2014

Fridays are always a frenzy of fun, furry friends getting ready for the weekend.  #brazilians #marknme

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Brazilians aren't a seasonal activity. They are a gift that should be enjoyed all year long.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

If you like my daily blogs, please go to Amazon and check the reviews for #thehappyhooha and #thehappyhenhouse. Both books are available electronically and I promise there are a ton of stories that will make you LOL!

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

"I'm worse than an autumn yard that needs a good raking."  Love my wax clients and their witty emails!

Monday, September 29, 2014

For some reason, I decided to wait to blog today until I got home from parent's weekend in North Carolina, because we were supposed to be home by 10:30 this morning. Well, that didn't happen. Our 6 am flight was delayed so we'd miss our connection in Atlanta. So we got on a fight at 7am that had mechanical problems and had to get off the plane. There were no decent flights out of Wilmington so we drove 2 hours to Raleigh as fast as possible to make an 11 am flight that would allow us to get home while it was still daylight. A man asked me if it was important for me to get home today. I wanted to tell him that there were a lot of hairy people in Rochester that needed me, but I thought that might sound strange. So I just told him that I needed to get back to work.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Some kind of landscaping is usually recommended to avoid brush fires.
~Advice from the Brazilian Agricultural Organization~

Saturday, September 27, 2014

While I was giving a young man a Brazilian, I told him about the two men who passed out during a wax. He said he couldn't imagine passing out because the experience was so awakening!

Friday, September 26, 2014

You should really try to avoid knocking my glasses off.  I need them to see what I'm doing.
~Brazilian Hazards~

Thursday, September 25, 2014

If you like martinis, maybe you should get a martini glass next time you come in for a wax.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Dare to go bald. #thehappyhooha

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

I'm better than a strong cup of java in the morning. 
~your Brazilian wakeup call!~

Monday, September 22, 2014

Brazilians give you a "smooth" journey through life.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

A man heard me on the radio and decided to try out this whole Brazilian thing. He came to Mark and M.E. this week and got waxed by one of my staff members Kelly. The next day he called to thank us for not only making the service comfortable, but he really enjoyed his experience at our salon. He said he wasn't a computer guy and didn't do Facebook, but I still wanted to thank him for taking the time to call the salon. It made our day.

Saturday, September 20, 2014

"A girl asked her friend, who was a licensed cosmetologist, if she'd give her a Brazilian. The friend said she'd rather give her a kidney." {excerpt from The Happy Hoo-Ha}

Friday, September 19, 2014

I just want to make waxing fun!

Thursday, September 18, 2014

I'm still here, even if it has been a year. Love reconnecting with my ladies who have taken a hiatus from waxing!

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

I don't care about the size of your caboose as long as I can find the exit door.
~Waxing Logistics~

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

I had an older guy put a breath mint in his mouth before I waxed his junk. Making a pass or being polite?

Monday, September 15, 2014

One day, I went to the gas station to get a cup of coffee.  The two girls behind the counter were laughing when I walked in and were talking about a mistress.  After I got the coffee, I asked who the mistress was. They said I was the mistress. They thought my corvette was Mark's and since he fills up my gas tank at this station, they assumed I was his mistress borrowing his car. I guess they didn't notice the WAXITALL license plate.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

This week at work I was a psychiatrist, a friend, a comedienne and a sex therapist. Oh yea, and a Brazilian Waxer.  It was a great week and I loved every minute of it.  Thank you!

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Earlier in the summer, I did side-by-side Brazilians on a couple for the first time. I told them they'd love the feeling of being intimate with no hair in the way. Not only did they agree, they came back for another round.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Want to make your next wax easier? Drink water, not coffee before you come in.  Water hydrates your skin so the hair pulls out easier.  Coffee dehydrates you, tends to make you more nervous, and makes the hair more resistant to extraction. And if you drink enough water, you'll be forced to use our bathroom and baby wipes before you get your Brazilian done.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Our son just graduated college and is looking for a job. It would probably be "hard" for him to follow in his mother's footsteps. I wax an awful lot of good looking women.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Brazilians give us a sense of confidence that is hard to explain.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

I get excited on Tuesday mornings when I know it's time to travel back into the Brazilian Rainforest with all of my friends. Unlike the people who dread the start to their work week, I look forward to seeing what adventures lie ahead for me.

Monday, September 8, 2014

There were two reasons to use your Brazilian yesterday. To celebrate his team's victory or to console him on his team's defeat.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

It's often harder to get their attention during football season, so now may be the perfect time to start getting waxed.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

It seems like a lifetime ago that I was teaching first graders. And now I make women look like them. Funny.
~Brazilian Career Change~

Friday, September 5, 2014

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Ripping off hair
Is what I love to do

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Some Brazilians are like running a 5K, pretty easy and fast.  Some are like a 10K, a little more complicated but doable. And some are like running a freaking marathon for the entire 26.2 long and agonizing miles.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Thanks to Brother Wease, I may be forever known as "The Vagina Lady." #thehappyhooha #thehappyhenhouse

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Chia pet, dead rat, caterpillar...any comparison to an animal is not a good thing.
~Brazilians Rock!~

Monday, September 1, 2014

I had my first baby on labor day weekend. And since I have spent my career dedicated to where babies comes from, I'd like everyone to spend a moment and pay homage to the vagina.

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Our new clean up procedure is a hit. Not only does the tea tree oil remove all sticky residue, it calms the skin so much more quickly that you get to use it sooner!
~Brazilian Wax Revelations~

Saturday, August 30, 2014

The end of summer is drawing near
But I'll continue to rip 'til the end of the year.
Summer, spring, winter, fall
It's always a good time to wax it all.

Friday, August 29, 2014

Yes, my twitter name is Sassysnatch.  Does that surprise you?

Thursday, August 28, 2014

I had two women come in for a wax who recited a funny U-Tube video to help get them through the service.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Jesus became sweet yesterday at Mark & M.E.
~Brazilian Confessions~

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

We sell a professional grade Lidocaine Gel to help ease some of the discomfort associated with waxing. I did have one girl tell me that it takes two showers to get the weird odor of the gel off her. I think making it a little smelly is probably a good thing, since we need to keep the predators away during the first day.

Monday, August 25, 2014

You know someone is nervous when their belly button fills up with sweat.
~waxing woes~

Sunday, August 24, 2014

In order to better service you and reduce adverse reactions to your skin following a Brazilian Wax, we have made some changes at Mark & ME. Instead of putting lotion on your skin before we tweeze any strays, we are using an organic blend of tea tree oil that will remove all sticky residue, reduce break-outs and irritation, and act as an antiseptic. The three step cleanup process is no longer necessary. Believe it or not, you can really teach this old, hairless dog some new tricks.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Normally, a six foot two, two hundred and fifty pound guy could completely overpower me. But when he is on my table getting a wax, my craft stick and I have the ultimate control.

Friday, August 22, 2014

I feel inclined to follow up on yesterday's blog. Blunts aren't recommended before a wax. They can make you paranoid and less resistant. If you'd like to celebrate with one after your Brazilian, however, be my guest.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

I waxed a girl yesterday who is moving to Colorado.  She is nervous about getting a wax from someone else.  I told her that it'll be fine as long as they give her a blunt before her Brazilian.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

I waxed a lot of people yesterday. No one bruised, bled, kicked me, peed on me, grabbed me or fell off the table. It was like a perfect day at the beach.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

If you're a toe curler when you're in pain, you may want to keep your shoes on to prevent cramping during your wax.

Monday, August 18, 2014

The more flexible you are, the easier it is for me to access the Brazilian area. If I comment on your flexibility, it is a sincere compliment, because you are doing me a tremendous favor and making my job easier. You should never think that I am insinuating you are a stripper or a porn star because I admire how well you are able to stretch. And if you find my compliment an insult, I apologize, but I do have to wonder if a part of you has a guilty conscious.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Now that our son is officially gone, I won't have time to wallow in the sea of empty nest-dom. I'll be too busy burying myself in the nests of the men and women who graciously patron Mark & ME.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Prepare to get sticky from the sap. Thirty years ago I was a student at the University of Rochester, met Mark, and started working at the salon as a part-time receptionist. Today, I am still with Mark and still at the salon, but in a much different capacity. What is most unbelievable is that I am moving my youngest child into college this morning. It seems like an appropriate day for gratitude and reflection. It has been an exciting and emotional journey that ain't over yet baby!

Friday, August 15, 2014

I think doing Brazilians has made me funnier.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

I am still getting criticized for not leaving the room while you undress. Not only am I going to see your lady parts up close and personal, I am going to be touching them. So removing your panties while I prep the table should not be awkward. In my opinion, entering the room while you're naked from the waist down waiting for me seems like it would feel more strange. I'm completely unaffected by you being naked. I just want to make you bald. But if that part of the process makes you feel uncomfortable, then I am sorry. My goal has always been to make you feel as comfortable as possible.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Unless I can french braid your pubic hair, don't be embarrassed. I've seen worse.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

I wrote The Happy Hoo-Ha and The Happy Hen House. What should the third be? The Happy...

Monday, August 11, 2014

I haven't touched a vagina in eleven days.

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Heading back to my wonderfully hairy American Italians. Ciao!

Saturday, August 9, 2014

When it's hot outside, men should trim down their excess body hair instead of wearing extra cologne to mask the smell.

Friday, August 8, 2014

In New York, chicks occasionally scream for Jesus when they're getting a Brazilian.  I can't even imagine how much more I would hear his name in Italy!

Thursday, August 7, 2014

I saw the sculpture of David today in Florence.  Not only is he a perfect figure of a man, he has no hair.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Today I am not going to blog about Brazilians, Brozilians, Bushes or Beaves.  I just want to put it out there that wine tastes better in Italy. Share this statement if you agree.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

I have officially started my third book in The Happy Hoo-Ha trilogy.  I made my daughter laugh which is a good start!

Monday, August 4, 2014

It's all about going back to your roots.  OK, maybe not your root hair color.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

I believe in Happy.
 ~author of The Happy Hoo-Ha and The Happy Hen House~

Saturday, August 2, 2014

The electricity is different in Europe. I've never been here before so I didn't realize how easy it'd be to blow a fuse with a personal electronic item.
~your Brazilian fuse blower lady~

Friday, August 1, 2014

Blogging from Europe is a first. Looking at real Italians and for some reason, they don't seem as hairy as our Italians in this US. Not sure if waxing is as popular here?

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Yesterday, a friend pointed out that I was more than a Vagina Whisperer since I also wax men. So I decided that I would be fine being referred to as The Wee-Wee Whisperer as well. Then I became worried that my male clients may be offended by this particular reference to their manhood. When a man gets a Brazilian, however, his manhood tends to go into hiding, so it is actually a fairly accurate description. So please, do not take offense.  It truly is a term of endearment.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Someone called me The Vagina Whisperer yesterday.  I love that.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Sometimes, my clients have to take a break from getting Brazilians, because they simply cannot afford it.  I really appreciate when clients who have been coming to me for years let me know why they have stopped waxing. Some switch to laser. Some go back to a natural look. Many move out of town. One of my clients was kind enough to send me a message and tell me that she had to give up her smooth landing for the summer in order to pay for her son's swim lessons.

Monday, July 28, 2014

I should never refer to pubic hair as a rabid animal since it has given me so much joy in my life.
~Brazilian Apology~

Sunday, July 27, 2014

When you wax on a regular basis, you will notice that your hair comes in finer and thinner.  Many of my clients have strange bald spots in their bikini area where the hair has stopped growing in all together.  Sometimes the bald patches look really funny and it's hard not to laugh at their strange patterns.  I had a girl this week refer to her splotchy hair line as a rabid animal. It was a fitting analogy.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

It happened again.  Yesterday a man got a Brazilian at another salon and they didn't do the entire thing, so he came to Mark & ME so we could finish the job.  The technician must not have known that the definition of a Brazilian is the entire pubic and rectal area, so all we needed to remove was that unneccessary hair between his cheeks.  We are proud to say that we've got men's backs (and backsides) as well as women's.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Yesterday a woman went to another salon for a Brazilian. They only scheduled her for a bikini and wouldn't do the whole thing because they hadn't booked enough time, which doesn't make sense to me but we'll go with it.  She left the other salon with a large, uneven triangle and a lot of unnecessary hair.  She then drove directly to Mark & ME with the hope of getting the rest of the wax done.  You know I couldn't let a sister down.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

A college girl got her first Brazilian with me and it went well and she loved it. Since she couldn't really afford to do it again, she bought a Groupon for a half leg and Brazilian at another salon. The service took two hours. She said she thought she was going to lose her mind because it hurt so bad and took so long. After the appointment, she had to drive to her parents house which was about four hours away. She said she could barely sit because she was so sore. Needless to say, she waited until she had enough money to come see me again.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

I think I'm going to start taking pictures of the bruises and scratches on my right arm and demand some kind of combat pay from my partner in crime at Mark & M.E. 

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Yep, I made a man squeal during his Brazilian.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Our youngest had his graduation party last night, so now all of our kids will be out of the house.  People keep asking me how we are going to deal with the empty nest time in our life.  Don't most people know that I spend my life buried in nests?

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Three couples came in yesterday for side-by-side Brazilians.  I think this is a wonderful new trend!

Saturday, July 19, 2014

A client reminded me that I have had a longer relationship with her v-j-jay then most of her boyfriends. 
~The Everlasting Brazilian Bond~

Friday, July 18, 2014

People can still hear you when you scream into a towel.
~Brazilian Truths~

Thursday, July 17, 2014

When the girl kicked me in the head, my glasses didn't actually fall to the ground.  She knocked them off my right ear which left them dangling from my left ear. And, now that I think about it, it must have looked pretty ridiculous.
~another scene from the Brazilian Battleground~

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Another first in my Brazilian world.  When I asked a woman to lift her left leg, she was flailing around so much that she kicked off my glasses. Not only were my glasses expensive, it hurt to have them kicked off my face.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

It's funny how awkward people behave when you tell them you do Brazilians for a living.  Half of the world population has a vagina, so what is the big deal?

Monday, July 14, 2014

Brazilians make people happy which means I make people happy.  It's the best job in the world.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

"I don't think anything should be put that far in there!" yelled the new wax client. Oh yes it should.

Saturday, July 12, 2014

If you're the kind of person who usually needs to grab onto something when you're getting a service done,  please bring a friend. A death grip on my right arm not only makes the whole service more complicated, it makes Raul want to smack you. And if you don't know who Raul is, then you need to read The Happy Hen House.

Friday, July 11, 2014

"Lift it like you mean it so it's easier to clean it!" One of my favorite phrases when I am waxing a person between their cheeks.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Hey ladies, if you are going through the change, you must get a Brazilian. It sucks waking up in the middle of the night sweating and it's even worse when your sweating and hairy.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

One night I got a message from a client who said her husband lost a bet, so now he had to come in and get a Brazilian. When they came in for the appointment, they told me that they were very drunk when they sent the message to me. So I asked them what the bet was. Neither of them could remember.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

In The Happy Hoo-Ha, I told a story about the time when a man climbed on my waxing table, two of the legs shattered as he sat down, and the table collapsed. Please don't worry about that ever happening again at Mark and ME.  We buy industrial strength tables now.

Monday, July 7, 2014

If you haven't ordered your copy of The Happy Hen House yet, did you know there are illustrations in it?

Sunday, July 6, 2014

On this Sunday morning, I'm feeling thankful. I'm thankful for the clients who take the time to write awesome reviews online. I also appreciate the positive emails you send us about your experiences at Mark and ME.  We love the feedback and appreciate you taking the time to write things down. I'm thankful for all of the clients who tell their friends about us, because referrals are great for business and, more importantly, we love meeting your friends. And lastly, I'm thankful for every hairy hoo-ha that I have had the pleasure of making a Happy Hoo-Ha. Happy Sunday everyone!

Saturday, July 5, 2014

I love when dermatologists back me up and tell people that they are no longer able to shave because it is unhealthy for their skin and their only choice is to trim or wax.

Friday, July 4, 2014

I hope there are fireworks in all of my ladies lady parts today and that everyone has a
 Happy Hen House.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

A woman told me that her pubic hair was so long that she could have used a straight edge to groom it.  I gave her my version of a Brazilian Buzz Cut instead.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

If you are sporting a retro 70's look, please remember that hair is combustible, so you don't want to set off fireworks naked.
~Brazilian Words of Wisdom~

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

The Fourth of July Fur-Removal frenzy has begun. Holidays are better when everyone has a
Happy Hoo-Ha.

Monday, June 30, 2014

I think the "soft" guy from yesterday was regretting his decision to get a Brazilian about the time he loudly declared how emasculating the whole procedure was.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

A young man came in for a Brazilian and was concerned about getting an erection. A few minutes into the service, it was obvious that his manhood was not going to show itself to me in its proud and regal form. In fact, he yelled in a desperate form of anguish that he had never been that soft in his entire life.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Any idea what animal can keep a hen really, really happy?
~Words of Wisdom from The Happy Hen House~

Friday, June 27, 2014

Another first at Mark & ME. Had a young man bite down on a popsicle stick while I gave him a Brazilian. You should have seen the teeth marks on the stick by the time I finished!

Thursday, June 26, 2014

"At least when you have surgery, they give you good drugs!" Brazilians aren't that bad, are they?

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

I had a woman refer to her happy trail as her treasure trail. Although I don't think hair from the navel down is cute on a woman, I think her expression was.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

She thought it looked like a caterpillar. I thought it looked like a dead rodent. Gotta love waxing analogies.

Monday, June 23, 2014

When I told a woman what I did for a living, she recommended I coin a new phrase for Brazilian Waxing like the Roch-Cha-Cha so I can brand my unique ten minute service. I think it's a brilliant idea. Any thoughts?

Sunday, June 22, 2014

I love getting feedback about The Happy Hen House. One woman loved the story about the manatee.  I also love that story.  It was a magical moment. And the manatee really did have a large, hairless vagina.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

In some cases, I have needed a fan attached to each side. The fans would act as a Brazilian blow torch.

Friday, June 20, 2014

What if I invented a small fan that attaches to my glasses to push unpleasant aromas away from me to make some of my waxing experiences more pleasant?

Thursday, June 19, 2014

A girl was trying to save money so she stopped waxing for awhile and started shaving again. It didn't last very long, because she said you could "connect the dots" with all of the ingrown hairs that she got from shaving again.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

When you rip off a bandaid, is it your natural instinct to grab the wound? Probably not. So why do you insist on grabbing your vagina when I rip off a wax strip?

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Yesterday, I was at the doctor's waiting to get a shot. The nurse was a client and she said she had a funny story to tell me. Apparently, her girlfriend had come to get a Brazilian with me and, like most first-timers, her skin was very red after. Her husband looked at her v-j-jay and said it looked like a red tomato.  A few weeks later, this couple bought a boat and considered naming it The Red Tomato.

Monday, June 16, 2014

People have interesting expressions they use when they are coming for a Brazilian so no one will know what they are really doing.  I have a woman who refers to her appointments as going to brunch.  I think that is quite fitting.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Hundreds of Rochester women gave their husbands the Brazilian Gift of Love this Father's Day. I can't think of a better way to thank your man for being a good daddy.

Saturday, June 14, 2014

I received the nicest compliment via email about The Happy Hen House that I wanted to share with you. One of my clients has a baby and, even though she has gone back to work, she has continued to nurse him. Her email said that my book was a work hazard. Apparently, she was reading it at work while she was pumping, lost track of time, and pumped for thirty minutes.

Friday, June 13, 2014

I had an engaged couple drive an hour to come see me for side-by-side Honeymoon Brazilians. It is so exciting to be part of such a special time in people's lives. I hope that preparing couples for their wedding night will become a new trend, because it is, mot definitely, my kind of trend.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

I got a message from a client that said her husband got a legitimate call for a beaver attack the other night.  You have to watch out for those beavers. They can be feisty little buggers.
~Honorary Member of the Brazilian Beaver Wildlife Team~

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

You may want to hold off on being intimate for several hours after you get a Brazilian, unless you like the way a salty pretzel rod feels against an open wound.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

I have become pretty immune to swearing over the years.  It is kind of expected when you're giving someone a Brazilian. What suprises me is when people scream expressions other than swear words. A new client kept yelling "Jiminy Cricket" throughout the service. Although it was an unusual thing to keep saying, I do know that she will want to rub her legs together like a cricket and make happy noises when I finish with her.

Monday, June 9, 2014

A girl told me that her friend couldn't understand how she got Brazilians.  She told her friend that waxing was a way of life. Amen sister!

Sunday, June 8, 2014

In the Showtime series called Californication, a child walks in on his mother giving a hooker a Brazilian.  He looks at the hooker's exposed lady parts and says it looks like a big pink walnut.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

I waxed a woman who had a labiaplasty (labia reduction surgery) done in March. She said that they put 64 stitches in her. That sounded like a lot of stitches to put in such a small area. She said it looked like a Frank-en-puss.

Friday, June 6, 2014

I know it may surprise you but doing a choke hold on my right hand with your buttock cheeks makes the waxing process a bit more difficult.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Can snatches get swampy too?

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

A man wanted to know if waxing between his cheeks would alleviate swamp ass.  I imagine it will.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Mark was sitting at the front desk in our waiting room when a girl walked right by him and started to leave the salon. He stopped her and asked if she had just gotten a Brazilian. She said yes. He asked her if she needed to be cashed out. She said she didn't know where she should pay since there wasn't a girl sitting at the front desk. He told her she could cash out with him since he was sitting there. She was apprehensive but did pay for the service. I don't remember putting a "free waxing" sign on the door that day.

Monday, June 2, 2014

A woman brought her baby into the room while I was giving her a Brazilian.  About half way through the service, the baby started fussing, so I started talking to the baby to quiet him down. When I left the room, the next client waiting wanted to know why I was "baby talking" to the woman's vagina?

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Bald vaginas could rule the world.

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Vaginas have a lot of power.

Friday, May 30, 2014

"No one should have a furry fanny." Wise words from a loyal Mark & M.E. client.

Thursday, May 29, 2014

A silver beaver is not as distinguished as a silver fox.
~waxing words of wisdom~

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

My staff is very conscientious that I have everything I need when I am busy, like drinking water or waxing supplies. Yesterday, Kiersten knocked on my door and asked me how I was doing and if I needed anything.  I thanked her for checking on me and told her that I was good.  That was when the client sat up and screamed "I need painkillers!"

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

My mom was reading The Happy Hen House and called me to say that there was a lot of funny and interesting talk about Brazilians. Yep, that's the point.

Monday, May 26, 2014

Whether you're riding the Soul Train or enjoying the sandy beaches of Brazil, I wish everyone a Happy Hoo-Ha Holiday.

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Bowel movement, bath,  Brazilian.  These three words are not interchangeable.

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Sometimes you'd think I was sodomizing women with watermelons with the way that they scream and carry on. Trust me, there are no watermelons in the wax room.

Friday, May 23, 2014

I went to a busy restaurant last night called Tony D's where Brother Wease, who is one of our popular local disc jockeys, likes to hang out. Whenever I have been on the radio, Wease has a special pet name that he calls me. So people may not know my name is M.E. Nesser, but many of them knew that I was The Vagina Lady.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

I have towels to scream into if you forgot a sock.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

A woman walked into the wax room and said she brought me a wolf pack. And she wasn't kidding. She could have been hiding a pack of wolves in that mound!

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

I'm getting ready to go on 95.1 this morning. Brother Wease has been a big supporter of the Hoo-Ha and not only do I hope you get a chance to listen to some of the broadcast, I'd love for some of you to call in with something funny or clever to add to our discussion. It is all of you and your vaginas that make me funny and I think it's our civil duty to spread the joy.

Monday, May 19, 2014

In "The Happy Hen House" there is a chapter entitled WTF. It has to do with moments in my life where I couldn't help but use that expression. This morning I woke up and had a WTF moment. I'm 49 years old today. It doesn't seem real.  But aside from a few aches and pains, I really don't feel any different than I did at 25. I know I look a bit older in the mirror, but my heart and my head are still young, happy and totally energized. So I want to shout out to everyone in my life, professionally and personally, for helping me stay forever young.

Sunday, May 18, 2014

The woman from yesterday, who was worried I'd rip off her clit or her hemorrhoid, was so anxious about the waxing that after I pulled a strip from between her legs, she closed her knees around my arm and wouldn't let go. It felt like I was trapped in a vice, and the look on her face said that she was never letting go.

Saturday, May 17, 2014

A woman told me, in an authoritative and fairly scolding voice, that I better not remove her clit or her hemorrhoid.  I assured her that there was no hair on her clit and I most definitely was not touching her freaking hemorrhoid.

Friday, May 16, 2014

When someone is in a lot of pain, adrenaline often kicks in and causes the body to quiver and shake. Don't ever be embarrassed or apologize if this happens to you. Instead of worrying that the shaking is due to the pain, let's think of it as your body getting really excited about your wax!

Thursday, May 15, 2014

I have been disappointed that the number of people who see my peculiar posts about the puss have been drastically waning. I just learned that Facebook only allows 1-2% of my followers to see what I have to say every day.  They want busniesses to pay in order to reach a wider audience. The only way for me to spread my love for a Happy Hoo-Ha without paying for it is when people like, share and post on my page. So I want to thank everyone who participates in my snatchy sentiments every day, and if you think of a post that you found particularly funny, feel free to go back and share it.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

This is a fun time of the year, because a lot women are coming in to try this Brazilian thing for the first time. I had several wax virgins come to the salon yesterday to take that trip through the Brazilian Rainforest with me. One of the newbies was so nervous and got herself so worked up that clients could hear her screaming when they entered the salon. She was one of the loudest screamers to date. It sounded like she was giving birth. And although she fought me with every ounce of her being, I was able to complete her journey to South America.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

I tell women on a daily basis that Brazilians enhance their sex lives. One woman wanted to know how that was possible?  She said that since her lips were stuck together, there was no way in.

Monday, May 12, 2014

I was driving home from work the other day and heard the song "Tighten Up" by Archie Bell. You may or may not know this song, but I listen to oldies so I know the song well.  I've never really thought about the lyrics until the other day. As I was listening to the chorus, all I could think of was that one client from a few months ago who told me she didn't wear her Ben Waa Balls to her appointment with me, because she was afraid that when she flinched, the balls would go flying across the room and break my window.

Sunday, May 11, 2014

I would like to wish all the moms that I have waxed, the moms to be and the women who have the potential to be a mom but choose not to, a very Happy Mother's Day!

Saturday, May 10, 2014

When I  had The Happy Hoo-Ha published, it took six weeks for the book to be converted to an electronic version. Things have really changed in the last year and a half. I am excited to say that The Happy Hen House is available on your Kindle today!

Friday, May 9, 2014

Today is my 1500th consecutive blog, and I never imagined that I would have enough to say for that many days without skipping at least one. I need to have things orderly and balanced in my life, which is why I freaked out this morning and went online and saw that my 2nd book entitled "The Happy Hen House" is available on Amazon as of today!

Thursday, May 8, 2014

If you want the area "between your cheeks" waxed, you must give us access to the area in question. I agree that it is a strange sensation having hot wax spread around your butt hole, but clenching your cheeks together like a wild animal who has a death grip on its prey makes it impossible to get to the promised land.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Many women have trouble getting pregnant these days. I waxed a woman who told me that this was "baby making week." She is taking fertility drugs and monitoring her cycle, so she knows that this is the week it could happen. After I finished her Brazilian, I told her that I paved an easier path for her "baby making" to happen.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

The cashiers at Michaels always assume I have a big art project when I buy popsicle sticks in massive quantities. I have to admit that sometimes my projects are big.

Monday, May 5, 2014

Don't be afraid that when I rip off your hair that I will rip off those natural pheromones that make you so desirable. In my opinion, the act of ripping out your hair actually stimulates those pheromones and make you even more irresistible.

Sunday, May 4, 2014

When I told this guy I was having my second book published in a few weeks, he seemed very impressed. Then he asked me what I wrote about. You should have seen his face when I said I write about vaginas. It was priceless!

Saturday, May 3, 2014

At least he had a decent sized salutation.

Friday, May 2, 2014

If you are a gentleman coming in for a Brazilian and feel the need to salute me when you undress, I would prefer if you pinched your parts really hard and stood at ease.  I am a Queen, not a Lieutenant.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Some people like it hot.  I like it hairy.

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Some people wait a long time between waxes in the winter. And although I don't really think pubic hair keeps you any warmer in our less-than-tropical climate, it is a good time of the year to save some money. So a woman came in and told me that it was finally time for her to remove her winter coat. She wasn't kidding. It was the kind of coat you'd need in Siberia!

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

In the first 50 Shades of Grey, Christian expects Ana to get waxed, but she doesn't. Sub or no sub, doesn't he know women don't really like to be told what to do?

Monday, April 28, 2014

I can't imagine anyone not getting a Brazilian who lived in a ninety-degree climate.

Sunday, April 27, 2014

There are times when you can't wear panties under a fitted dress, because the lines look tacky. Having a powder puff in the lower front of your dress looks tacky as well. Another reason Brazilians are so important.

Saturday, April 26, 2014

The gentleman from yesterday also said it wasn't a thorough waxing, because the technician didn't seem comfortable working on his private area. You can't do this job if you're afraid of touching someone's junk. It's just another body part, and it shouldn't be a big deal to have to work with it. Besides, it doesn't bite, you know.

Friday, April 25, 2014

I have always found it interesting to hear about how other technicians perform Brazilians. Women have been sharing their experiences with me for as long as I can remember. Now that I am waxing more men, I am getting another perspective on their experiences. A guy told me that the last place he got waxed put him on his hands and knees which he made him feel very uncomfortable. It makes me uncomfortable too. Rest assured, you can leave your doggie positions at home.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Usually women pull away from me when I am giving them a Brazilian. I think it is human nature to want to go in the opposite direction from a source that is causing you pain. But I had a lady actually roll towards me after I did that dreaded rip in the front that hurts the most. Not only did she roll towards me so she was completely on her left side, she hugged my body. Brazilian waxing breeds intimacy. It's a beautiful thing.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Every time you get a Brazilian, it gets a little easier. When I was waxing a girl for the second time, she was proud of herself for staying composed. She told me that the first time I waxed her, she was naming all of the twelve apostles.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

I was watching the original Jaws movie last night, and I feel the same anticipation every time the classic music starts and the shark is on the prowl. When they show the shark scoping out all of the people's legs who are swimming and playing in the water, I couldn't help but think that is how men react when we get a fresh Brazilian.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Many women get their first Brazilian before they get married. I had a girl wish me a happy anniversary, because it was one year ago when we met and when she got married.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Today, millions of people around the world celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. Hopefully my Brazilian devotees will experience another kind of resurrection on this special day.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

A man told me that getting waxed "between the cheeks" was one of the most rewarding things he had ever done in his life.

Friday, April 18, 2014

With the amount of waxes scheduled at the salon this week, I know for a fact that there will a ton of Easter Bunnies who will be excited that the mommies of the household don't have any Easter Grass in their baskets.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

When do you know it has been too long since your last Brazilian? When you take a bath with your two year old and she asks you why you have a "black bajina."

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Yesterday I had to work through some pretty heavy terrain in the glorious jungles of Brazil. Today I feel like I was mauled by a wild animal from that very same jungle.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Sunday is Easter. The only place your man should find Easter grass is in a child's basket, not yours.

Monday, April 14, 2014

A new client told her friend she was going to get her vagina violated.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

I woke up this morning and was plagued with that nagging question, "what do chicks do in prison about their pubic hair?" They obviously don't get Brazilians and I can't imagine they are allowed to use razors.

Saturday, April 12, 2014

A husband left money on the kitchen counter for his wife to take care of her "situation" and he wasn't referring to the dude from The Jersey Shore.

Friday, April 11, 2014

My back must look really comfy, because I have many clients who don't even bother to try to hold their left leg up. They just rest it on my back like they're chilling back on a recliner. I guess it's a good sign that I make people at ease while I'm hurting their hoo-ha's.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Women often giggle when they get Brazilians. It seems to be the way some people cope with the pain. I had another first happen at Mark & M.E. recently. I had a man giggle while I gave him a Brozillian. Although he apologized for laughing throughout the service, I thought it was hysterical.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

The week before spring break is very busy at the salon. A woman told me that since she couldn't control the amount of weight she gained before her cruise, at least she could control the hair that stuck out of her bathing suit.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

I visited another college campus this weekend and realized a college would be a perfect place to set up a Brazilian salon. There were girls everywhere!

Monday, April 7, 2014

When someone emails me for a date to remove a furry animal, how can I say no? ~your Brazilian exterminator~

Sunday, April 6, 2014

When I was waxing a soccer player who started pushing her leg against my back, I confess that I was close to being flattened on the table.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Snap, crackle, holy crap, I popped your Brazilian Cherry!

Friday, April 4, 2014

Getting waxed "between the cheeks" is vital to good genital grooming. And if we refer to that area on men as crack to sac, it only makes sense that we refer to that area on women as crack to crack.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

I love to hear that people Facebook stalk me. It means that my crazy ramblings about the life of a Brazilian Wax Queen are as amusing to others as they are to me.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Getting a Brazilian can affect a man like dangling a carrot in front of a rabbit.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

If Mark had not put a diamond ring in a glass of champagne 28 years ago today, there would be no Mark & ME and I highly doubt I would have discovered the wonders of the Brazilian Bikini Wax.

Monday, March 31, 2014

People ask me on a daily basis how I can do Brazilians for a living. Honestly, I cannot imagine NOT doing Brazilians for a living.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

"The only down side to a fresh Brazilian is the change in your urine stream." Classic line I received yesterday from one of my awesome clients.

Saturday, March 29, 2014

A 40 year old woman told me she could not wait for the day she could retire. I told her I cannot imagine never going to Mark & ME again. In fact, I am saddened that I will be forced to stop one day because my parts are aging faster then I am. I guess it really is true what they say. If you love what you do for a living, you will never work another day in your life.

Friday, March 28, 2014

If I quit waxing, I cannot imagine teaching again. How would I be able to talk about forests or grasslands and keep a straight face?

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Who said you can't teach this old dog new things? Yesterday I did a Brozillian with hard wax and there was no pain, redness, irritation or tears! I was able to rip off the hair without ripping off the skin. It was so cool!

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

When a girl asked one of my clients why she would spend money getting a Brazilian, she told her that for sixty dollars, she felt like a million dollars.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

In the book "The Secret," it tells you to verbally express your gratitude. In my professional life, I am extremely grateful for the relationships with my clients that I have developed over the years. And, although it may sound strange, I have to be honest and say that I am also grateful for all of your hairy lady parts, because that is the reason you became a part of my life.

Monday, March 24, 2014

After reading The Happy Hoo-Ha, I know several women who have purchased shower heads with a hose. Not a bad idea.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Women grab me all the time. They grab my arms, my hands, and even my butt. But I had another first at Mark and ME this week. A lady actually grabbed my pubic bone. Although it is no big deal for me to touch you in your private area during a Brazilian, it was strange to have a woman touch me in that part of my body.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Come in for a bikini, leave with a Brazilian. I cannot help it.

Friday, March 21, 2014

A woman told me that for three days after she gets a Brazilian, all she wants to do is have sex. What a shame.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Companies actually teach Speed Waxing. I do not feel like what I do is all about speed. I have always tried to be as efficient as possible, because, for most people, Brazilians hurt. So, in my mind, the more efficiently I complete the service, the more likely you will come back to me a second time.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

I met a woman who owns a waxing salon that has the most creative descriptions of her wax services. She refers to a Bikini Wax as "just outside the box."

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

I took a wax class yesterday, which was strange, because I used to be an educator for a large wax company and I still teach private lessons once in awhile. What I learned is that I really do know a lot about waxing and that it is a lot more fun to do it then to teach it.

Monday, March 17, 2014

Habits can be good or bad. Pulling out your eyelashes or grinding your teeth are a bad habit. Enjoying your Brazilian on a regular basis is definitely a good one.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

A lot of my clients read The Happy Hoo-Ha in my waiting room while they wait for their appointment. In the book I told a story about when one of my clients was in high school, she remembers being able to smell another girl even while the other girl was dressed. The other day, I had a client tell me that she had the same experience with someone she worked with. Unfortunately, if you can smell another person's genitalia while she is dressed, even a Brazilian cannot eradicate the smell.

Saturday, March 15, 2014

I love meeting husbands, fiancé's and boyfriends. Some get embarrassed when they meet me. Some sit out in the car and hide from me. But I had a guy yesterday who told me that it was a pleasure to meet me and that he was a huge fan of my work. That made my day.

Friday, March 14, 2014

A new Brazilian client said a baby swear word and, after a few minutes, said a medium swear word. I started laughing and told her that neither of those words were the most common said in my wax room. When I lifted her leg and waxed her whole lip in one shot, she did not disappoint me. She said the big swear word with a great deal of force and animation.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

I may not have gotten home until the middle of the night, but I refuse to let the snow keep me from the service of the snatch. ~Your Brazilian Warrior~

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Mark & Me has been looking for a licensed cosmetologist for over a month to join our team. We have only had one person apply and it was not the right fit. If we cannot find help, I am just going to have to train Mark to help me out. He does a mean Brazilian on me, and I know he could make you laugh as much as I do.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

I am excited to share that I sent my manuscript to Amazon yesterday to begin the editing process of my second book. It is called The Happy Hen House and I hope to have it published by Summer. Believe it or not, I had enough stories to create an even longer book about my life in the Big, Bad Bush.

Monday, March 10, 2014

I will never understand why a husband would not want to come into the room with his wife while she gets a Brazilian. It isn't as if he hasn't ever seen it before.

Sunday, March 9, 2014

You're never too old to get a Brazilian.

Saturday, March 8, 2014

One of my client's was so excited about getting a Brazilian that she was hoping it would lead to lamp-breaking sex.

Friday, March 7, 2014

A woman asked my daughter if it was awkward having a mom that did Brazilians for a living. Kaylah said, "No, not really. In fact, she waxes me."

Thursday, March 6, 2014

The cool thing about a book signing is now there are people from places like New Mexico, Arkansas, and Wisconsin who are learning about The Happy Hoo-Ha!

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

I met an old guy named Bob at a coffee shop who asked me what I wrote a book about. I told him it was a book about Brazilian Bikini Waxing. He told me he likes to take pictures of Brazilian Women in thongs. Friends for life.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Earlier in the year, my sister and I saw a fin in the ocean while we were kayaking, so we chased it. The other day, my girlfriend told me that doing Brazilians for a living was a perfect job for me, because I am the kind of person that likes to chase fins.

Monday, March 3, 2014

In the movie Borat, someone tells Borat that he should buy a Corvette because it is a pussy magnet. It is a really funny scene, because he is completely intrigued by the notion of acquiring this so-called pussy magnet. What made me really laugh is that I have a Corvette and I attract pussies. ~Your Brazilian Magnet~

Sunday, March 2, 2014

It is always funny when I see clients out socially. You never know what they will refer to me as to their friends. Last night I was called The Vagina Lady.

Saturday, March 1, 2014

I owned a fur coat for over 20 years that I never wore, because it made me uncomfortable knowing how many animals were killed to make the coat. I finally got rid of it, because I could not even stand having it hang in my closet. It is ironic how anti-fur I was even before I started doing Brazilians for a living.

Friday, February 28, 2014

A girl told her mom she was going to try a Brazilian. The mother could not believe her daughter would go through the humiliation of having a stranger do that to her. She assured her mom that coming to me was like going to a doctor. A bikini doctor.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

You can get ingrown hairs from shaving, waxing or doing nothing. They are annoying. A woman told me she removed an ingrown hair that had a root so big that it had its own zip code.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

I think it would be cool to live in a world called HooHavia. ~your Brazilian daydreamer~

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Next week I am going back to Florida to do a book signing at a very busy local coffee shop. Since there are so many snowbirds in Florida this time of the year, I think my charming yellow book about Brazilians is going to cause quite a stir.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Once the lady in the pool recovered from the shock that I wrote a book called The Happy Hoo-Ha, she said she did not think she could ever read a book about it, because the whole notion of a Brazilian seemed so outrageous to her. That was when her husband, who was sitting under an umbrella about thirty feet from us, raised his hand and said "I want to read it!"

Sunday, February 23, 2014

I was hanging out in a pool with 5 women over the age of 70. The one has a son who is a very successful author. We were talking about finding an agent. The one lady did not know I had written a book and asked me what it was about. I told her it was about Brazilian Bikini Waxing. She thought she misheard me and asked me to repeat myself. So I said it again. That was when she got the most frightened look on her face and started sinking into the water like she had had the wind knocked out of her. One of the other ladies rushed over to her, pulled her up, gave her a big hug and started laughing hysterically.

Saturday, February 22, 2014

It is hard not to think about my job every single day. There are reminders all around me. For example,I was sitting on our porch reading a book when I looked up and saw a man who looked like a gorilla. The length and density of his upper body hair completely covered every square inch of his skin. It is 80 degrees and humid here and I cannot even imagine how hot and uncomfortable all of his hair has to be. It was making me sweat! And I shudder to think how unruly it was under his bathing trunks. I was daydreaming about going after this man with a hedge clippers. I can see the headlines now "Crazed New York woman attacks innocent man on the beach with hedge clippers." ~your Brazilian Botanist~

Friday, February 21, 2014

If you're bored in the bedroom, take that bad-ass feeling you get when you walk out of our salon with a fresh Brazilian and start your own Romance Novel.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

A man with a very large piercing just happened to have a very long penis, even in its relaxed state. So my thought is if you want your man to have a longer one, maybe you should encourage him to get a big, heavy ring punctured in the tip of his most prized possession. But be careful how you approach the subject, however, because it may not go over well. ~strange advice from your friendly Wax Queen~

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Now that I am doing more Brozillians, I am seeing more piercings. And I have to admit that I am baffled by how large of a ring some men can put in their member.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

I am reading a book called the Secret. It talks about how your positive thoughts will lead to positive actions. And that got me thinking about getting a Brazilian Bikini Wax. (Of course it did!) If you come to the salon dreading that it is going to be the worst pain in your life, then it will be. But if you come in thinking that it is going to be quick and easy and not a big deal, then that is what it will be. Just food for thought on this beautiful morning.

Monday, February 17, 2014

I discovered an interesting benefit to giving a man a Brazilian. When he squirms off the table, which happens with both men and women, I have something to hang onto so he does not actually fall to the floor.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

I have officially left the bush and am headed towards palm trees. I will do my best to be clever while I am away. Usually the rum runners help. ~your Brazilian sun worshipper~

Saturday, February 15, 2014

I received an email from a guy who thanked me for making him feel comfortable during his wax. He was surprised at how much we laughed during the service. I vowed long ago to make sure no one ever felt awkward while getting a Brazilian with me. We all have similar parts that we want hair free, so it should not be a big deal. Besides, it makes my day much more enjoyable when I treat my clients like friends I am seeing at a party.

Friday, February 14, 2014

I would not be the Brazilian Wax Queen if it was not for Valentine's Day. In fact, there would be no Mark & M.E. if I didn't say "I do" 27 years ago. So here is a shout out to Mark for making me his Queen on this very special day.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

A single mom, who works full time and goes to school full time, came into the salon feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. As soon as she got on the table, she started crying, and it was not from the pain of the Brazilian. My goal during this service was to make her laugh. While I was waxing between her cheeks, I told her the story of the lady who had such a big hiney that she needed her boyfriend to hold up her left butt cheek so I could wax that area on her. The laughter in the room was gregarious and I felt like I scored a home run.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Tis the season for shapes. Left a "heart" on 2 ladies yesterday. ~your Brazilian Sculptor~

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

In the third "Fifty Shades" book, the main character surprises her husband and gives herself a Brazilian. She said that she had no idea the absence of pubic hair could make such a difference. Tell us something we don't know.

Monday, February 10, 2014

It is all over the news that Brazilians are "out" and the "natural" look is in. And I have to agree that hairy and sweaty are a more natural state. It doesn't mean that I like it.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

I love making people laugh. Who would have thought that a person lying naked from the waist down would be my stage? ~your Brazilian comedienne~

Saturday, February 8, 2014

So you may not think you need a Brazilian this Valentine's Day because you don't have anyone special in your life. But, no one is more special then you. So spoil yourself and get one anyways. Besides, it can be very uncomfortable when long hair gets tangled with BOB.

Friday, February 7, 2014

I had a girl tell me that "sex sucks when you shave." I think she would be a good spokesperson for Brazilians and Mark & ME.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

It only takes five To know you're alive. One little rip And your lady parts will thrive!