Five years with my last "wax it all" car and was never stopped by a cop. Five days with the new one and I was stopped. I wasn't speeding. I may wax fast but I don't drive fast. Think he was trying to pick me up. Wishful thinking. He was cute. I wasn't charged with anything. Thank God. Still love my personalized plate. Says it all.

If you read my blog this morning, I told you about a girl who said there wasn't anything better then a clean booty hole. If you were confused by what she was referring to, she was talking about the beauty of that area being hairless. I forgot to tell you what happened next. In order to give you a clearer picture of the scene, she was wearing was a small, sleeveless t-shirt and nothing else. When she got off the table, she started dancing around singing "clean booty, clean cootchy..." It feels really good to make people this happy simply by waxing their booties and cootchies. God, I love my job.

It may seem a little excess to have written three books (The Happy Hoo-Ha Trilogy)  about my career as a Brazilian Wax Technician, but something funny or outrageous is said or done every day. No, I'm not exaggerating. I have post-it notes on my desk as reminders of what people do and say, because it is hard to remember everything. A young woman told me that there "ain't nothing better than a clean booty hole." Who am I to disagree?

One of the things we discussed on the Brother Wease show was sexually transmitted diseases. I reminded everyone that crabs have become virtually extinct because of the popularity of Brazilian Bikini Waxes. Paulie reminded us about the time Wease got them in his mustache and beard.

On Wednesday, I was on the Brother Wease show for a few minutes. When I got back to the shop, a listener gave me a call. It was a man. He wanted a "full wax." It took a little investigative questioning but I figured out he wanted a Brazilian. He asked if there was a man who could wax him. We only have women who do the Brazilians at Mark and M.E. He said thank you anyways. I just couldn't convince Mark to do it.

So what happened to that landing strip that I was supposed to leave 1/8-1/4 inch wider on each side? I made it wider by turning it into a triangle. This way, there was a part that was hopefully 1/8 inch wider and a part that was 1/4 inch wider. No, I didn't measure it. Waxing isn't weird for me but measuring the area would be. I'm a v-j-jay artist, not architect.

I love when men participate in their wives personal grooming. A man asked that I leave 1/8 inch more on each side of his wife's landing strip. If it was easier, he said I could leave 1/4 inch instead. I thought this was a funny request. Did he actually expect me to measure it? She said he was specific with the measurement because he was a contractor. Oh, that explains it.

In case you are twiddling your thumbs around 1030-1045 tomorrow morning, tune in to 95.1 where yours truly will be talking about something naughty...I'll be on the Brother Wease show, even if he won't be able to join us.

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and my parts are achey and I think, at some point, I'm going to have to stop waxing. But how the hell could I stop seeing the thousands of men and women that are such a big part of my life? I feel like I'd be missing so much. I've loved being part of engagements, weddings, babies, highs, lows... So, for now, I guess I'm going to keep on ripping, because it is still the best gig in town.

I went to Trader Joe's on Sunday for some groceries. The cashier asked me what I was planning to do for the day. I told her I was writing a book and planned to work on it. She asked me if it was my first book. I told her I wrote 3 non-fiction books about my bizarre career and now I'm writing a smutty romance series. She immediately acted like she knew who I was. She said "You're M.E.?" I said yes. She told me a lot of her friends got waxed by me and she heard I was really funny. I told her I waxed vaginas for a living; you have to have a sense of humor. That's why I started writing in the first place.

apromiseofpassion.com has a new entry. It has to do with today's blog. Warning, this is an adult themed blog site.

The first time a woman gets a Brazilian tends to be terrifying. I've spent my career trying to make the first time as easy as possible. However, it's often hard to predict whether or not the client will ever come back for a second time. Last week, I had a woman come in for her second Brazilian with me. I welcomed her back and asked her what she thought about being bald. She told me that cunnilingus was much more enjoyable without hair in the way. Her honesty pleased me greatly.

The posts that you read every day are from my blog entitled "hose down your hoo-ha." I started the blog many years ago with the hope of entertaining people with stories about my crazy profession. I named it hose down your hoo-ha for two reasons; I thought it was funny and I wanted it to be a reminder to properly clean before a wax appointment. Since I started the blog, there was an incredible invention called "flushable wipes." For the most part, they have made my life much more pleasant. Now there should be no reason for me to tell anyone to hose down anything. Sadly, I think some people mistake the flushable wipes for makeup remover pads.

The article I read that discouraged using sugar on your private parts to make things taste better also discourages spraying perfume down there to make things smell better. I agree with the author. I am a huge proponent of taking a careful and thorough shower to keep your lady parts in pristine condition.

Passion Never Dies finally got its 2nd review.  Thank you for sharing your thoughts on it!

"I really enjoyed the second book of this trilogy. So much more is revealed about each of the characters in this story and I cannot wait to read what happens next with Jackson and Sara as well as with Katherine and Ian. This is an easy and fun read that is captivating from the first chapter. Definitely a good read!"

Latest review of A Promise of Passion made my day. I will continue to post the reviews until all of my followers read my smutty romance novels and make me famous!

Great love story! Couldn't put it down and I enjoyed reading about both characters points of view as they came together finding the one that completes them.

A friend of mine sent me an article about the 7 things you should never do to your private parts. One of them said you should never put sugar down there. Apparently some women do this because their men complain about the taste and think the sugar will make it taste better. Masking a foul odor with sweetener is not the answer. How about a shower and a Brazilian Bikini Wax? (in that order)

Even though I have been waxing over 20 years, I still get humbled by the amount of people who know about me and go out of their way to come to Mark & M.E. Last week I waxed a bride who got married in Rochester but lives in another city. On her bridal Facebook page, she asked her friends where she should get a Brazilian for her wedding. Everyone said she should come to me. I can't tell you how much that means to me. Thank you for all of your love and support. I promise to continue to give you the best service possible for as long as possible...or until my arms fall off.

Check out my article in this month's Rochester Woman's Magazine. It's only available digitally in October. Let me know if you like what M.E. Nesser has to say!

A client found her son reading A Promise of Passion. He told her he was reading the directions. Kids really are starting younger, aren't they?

As Halloween approaches and you think about that skimpy costume you plan to wear, make sure you take into consideration what grooming will be necessary before you strut around in that short skirt or those daisy dukes. Do your parts resemble Chewbacca or do they resemble Casper?

This is our Mark & M.E. slogan. Need I say more?

This pic was sent to me by a client who is vacationing in Kauai. I love that Passion Never Dies made it to Hawaii!!!

We are Mark & M.E. in case you were wondering.

I believe women should get Brazilians for themselves. It is a very comfortable and sexy alternative to shaving. If your man enjoys it, that's a bonus. If your man insists you get it done, however, please feel free to insist he gets one as well. Side-by-side services include much more than massages.

When I started my blog, hosedownyourhooha, back in 2010, I never thought I'd still be blogging almost 2500 consecutive blogs later. What you see on my Facebook page every day is from my blog. Although it's mostly hoo-ha related talk, sometimes I share random things from my life or even inspirational comments. Every time I think I'm going to stop writing, something happens at work that I feel compelled to share: women scream for the Apostles, grab my keister, practice their Lamaze breathing, urinate on the table, knock off my glasses, swear in various languages, call me names and the list goes on. The theatrics in the wax room are more comical than you could possibly imagine. Well, I've always loved the theater, so I guess I'll keep it going just a little longer...

The latest review of A Promise of Passion on Amazon made my Sunday. Have you ordered your copy yet? Only 4.99 on Amazon Kindle. It's the kind of book that gets your juices flowing!!

"I read it in one afternoon!! I couldn't put it down! Thanks to a great friend for the recommendation... now where's my husband???"

Stolen Cadillac Debacle Part 4: For those of you who didn't read my previous posts, our car was stolen from the Mark & M.E. Salon during work hours two weeks ago. Although the guy was an idiot and pulled a knife on someone while in possession of our car, we got it back unharmed within an hour. On the day of the preliminary trial, a district attorney called Mark and asked him to appear in court. Mark had already told them that we were at a charity event out of town that day. The attorney needed to make sure Mark didn't give the guy the keys to the car or give him permission to drive the vehicle. After the DA repeated the question, Mark just started laughing and said, "Yes, I accidentally left the keys in it. No, I didn't give him permission to drive my car; he stole my freaking car."

Women get waxed for a variety of reasons: a wedding, anniversary, boyfriend, marathon, bucket list,  to feel sexier, cleaner, empowered, confident, or just because. Yesterday, I heard of a new reason that I found fascinating and had to share. A woman told me that she holds all of her men problems in her pubic hair. When she has it removed, she feels like the negative aspects of the relationship are thrown in the garbage. She encourages her girlfriends to get waxed. She believes that getting waxed is the most cathartic way to rid any remnants of a bad relationship.

The waxing area at Mark & M.E. is inundated with candles and soft lighting. We try to create a serene ambiance that will ease the clients who are anxious about their service. Yesterday, I didn't light the candles before my first client came in, because I was busy answering the phones. After I finished my first appointment, I walked over to the small table in the corner of the room and lit my scented candle. The client remarked that she was mortified she must have smelled, which was why I was lighting it as soon as I finished her Brazilian. I assured her that her parts were pristine and I that kept the candle lit all day, every day.

Mark and I are truly humbled by how far some people will travel to get their beauty services performed by us. This week has been no exception. Clients have traveled from Pike (yep it's a place not a fish) Alfred College (love the college kids) Arcade (sounds like a place with games) Hannibal ('tis a place in New York State not a serial killer) Buffalo (my hometown) Geneva (another name for Gin made in the Netherlands) Attica (you know, where the prison is) and so many more places. Thank you to everyone who has made Mark & M.E. their salon. We appreciate and love all of you!

My other blog can be found at www.apromiseofpassion.com  I just published the next installment. Please be advised that the content is...ADULT.

There are some dangers in our profession. For example, if you wonder why I use my body to hold your leg up during your Brazilian, it's because I'm tired of getting my glasses kicked off my face.

5.0 out of 5 starsHighly recommend

ByKaren M. Guerinoton August 9, 2016

Format: Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase

Loved it! M.E's. sense of humor is great! A FANTASTIC read! I highly recommend this book!

The most recent review of The Happy Hoo-Ha.  Made my night!

In April of 2010, I started writing a blog called Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha. Since then, I have blogged every day. (no o.c.d. here) Since most people prefer Facebook, I copy and paste my blog on my Facebook pages, which are the bizarre stories you read every day. This is my first one from way back when.

"So this is how this whole Brazilian thing works. A woman enters the room, gets naked from the waist down, hops up on a massage table and spreads her legs. I spread hot wax all over her genitalia and rip as fast and as furious as possible. This service almost always includes some squirming, yelling, obsenities and even some interesting name calling. The upside of the whole experience is that it is over in less than ten minutes and the client is left bald as a newborn."

This message still rings true today!

I'm sitting on the deck of a friend's house in Florida. There is water, palm trees, sunshine. It's breathtaking. Do I want a place here one day? Absolutely. Mark & I have worked very hard towards a certain tomorrow, but we will never forget to enjoy what we are doing today. No one knows what tomorrow will bring, so I will continue to enjoy our journey to the palm tees. Working with my husband and making women feel beautiful has made my journey so rewarding that I will be sad to see it end. I hope you all can find happiness in your career paths. If you aren't happy, don't be afraid to look outside the box, take a chance, and even make a change. Heck, my career lead me straight to that proverbial box. Don't settle. Life is too short. Enjoy the ride to the mountains, palm trees or simply your back yard. Happy Monday everyone!

Last night, Mark & M.E. participated in a fundraiser for Glycogen Storage Disease at the Hard Rock in Fort Lauderdale. It's a horrible disease but the research for a cure is promising due to events like this. Prayers to all of the children with GSD.

Stolen Cadillac Debacle Part 3: We now know the perps name. We received a very official document in the mail signed by a judge saying that the car thief cannot get anywhere near Mary Elizabeth Nesser's (the car is in my name even though it was my other half who left the keys in it) work, home, or school  Not sure what school they're referring to. Maybe The Happy Hoo-Ha School of rip, roaring fun? All I know is that he mustn't be in jail if there is a restraining order in effect. It makes me nervous to know that he was carrying a knife. My weapon of choice is a popsicle stick and some hot wax. If he shows up at work again, things could get sticky.